Should I quit buying gifts for my husband's niece & nephews?

Question

There are 6 children in the family. We have three and his brother has three. I always send either $ or a gift card for birthdays and Christmas. Two years ago his brother quit sending my children $ or gift cards on their birthdays. This year they have not sent anything for Christmas. The age range of children is 15 to 7. They make alot more money than we do and have made no explaination why they are not sending birthday "gifts" and today they have not returned our phone call (they live in another state) to wish them Merry Christmas and make sure the children got their gift cards. I always send them in a special card just for the kids. My kids don't understand why their Aunt & Uncle aren't sending them anything as they have always sent Thank you cards & called to say thank you as well. I'm just mad because they are hurting my girls feelings. Any suggestions?

We have always gotten along well, and there is no problems that I am aware of. We saw them over the Labor day weekend and everything was fine. We also talked to them a couple of weeks ago on one of the children's birthday.

Answer 1

It sounds like they are trying to tell you something by not sending gifts.

I would have your husband give his brother a call (maybe wait til the new year) and simply ask them if they do not want to exchange gifts in the future and find out if there is another problem.

I know someone will answer with "its about the giving, not the getting," however, in the end, it is still hurtful (especially when we are talking about your children) when the gesture is not reciprocated.

I would definitely find out what the problem is and at the end of the day, come to an agreement with your husband's brother about protocol going forward.

Answer 2

are they not acknowledging the gifts at all? do you speak with them ever? can you ask another family member what is going on and if you upset them in some way? or, come right out and send them a letter letting them know you feel terrible their is tension and hope that you could talk about what happened.

if you don't get any answers then i would stop sending the gifts. i would still send a heartfelt christmas card letting them know that you miss them. you could always send something to the family such as a tin of homemade cookies or a christmas ornament but i wouldn't go all out if they do not have the courtesy to say thank you.

take care...merry christmas! SD

Answer 3

Either you can ask them why???? or you can just send them cards and no money. You have to make that decision, I was stationed in Italy and I was sending my neice gifts for her bday and christmas and at the same time they werent sending my daughter anything, not even a call to say thanks we received the gift, so I stopped sending gifts and I just send cards with a picture. It hurts because kids dont really understand why the gifts arent being reciprocated.

Answer 4

I wouldn't ask them why, as it will undoubtedly cause tension between your family and theirs. If you think it'll help show them, send something the next time, with a card that thanks them for their 'graciousness'; they may or may not get the hint. If it's a stretch for you to buy things for their kids, leave it alone; people may not always be appreciative of their family, but so long as you can be supportive for your (immediate) family, you'll cope.

Answer 5

first off it's about giving not receiving. If it's hard on you to spend money on giving them presents then don't do it and you shouldn't have to explain, maybe their money is also tight and they rather spend it within their small family unit and feel bad about you sending gifts for their children but they didn't send yours anything.

Answer 6

Maybe they're trying to tell you not to send gifts because they know it's hard on you financially?