Why the envious sister?

Question

Since we were little children, my older sister has always been resentful of me. Obviously jealous because I had better grades in school, etc. We are now in our 40s, and she is still demonstrating the same nasty behavior of bitterness, one-upmanship and will-never-be-outdone. I have a well-paying job which she resents. My husband and I travel abroad every year which she resents. I have expensive clothing which she resents. It appears she never outgrew her envy towards me. It's old, and her behavior has gotten in the way of our relationship. It totally drains me of energy. I have decided to completely write her off from my life. Wooh! I feel better already! Any thoughts?

Answer 1

The truth is you get to choose your friends, but you cannot choose your family members.......trust me, I wish I could, too.

I myself have a couple of relatives who treat me the way that sister treats you. Forget the fact that I studied hard in school, saved money when I had the chance, and tried to make good business decisions.

Whenever these relatives find out my little family and I have either traveled or bought a timeshare, the whining and resentment starts.

You will never win in this situation. The only opportunity you have for peace and sanity is to cut such people out of your life. You should not feel obligated to babysit other adults just because they didn't put in the effort to get further in their lives/careers.

Best of everything!

Answer 2

i have limited contact with my sister because of her nasty attitude. I flipped through some books and websites on narcism and depression and found great advice in limiting my time with her to protect my own emotional well being. I won't lie - I feel guilty about it. We still send cards and see each other at holidays occasionally. We don't talk then and I hope time will change that. On the other hand, not having to deal with the stress form her drama queen, I'm better than you attitude, has made a tremendous difference in my own eslf esteem and outlook of life. I do feel better without that stress. I am not an experert by any means, just been in a similar situation and this is what helped me.

Answer 3

Oh yeah. I wrote off my older sister a few years ago, when she crossed the line by openly threatening to manipulate my son so he would think his Nana (our Mom) was a bad person, because my sister wanted Mom to break up with her boyfriend.

For years I put up with her bad behavior and rude and hurtful comments, not saying anything for the sake of peace, afraid to make a scene. After the above I came down on her, HARD, and have never been afraid of her since.

Holidays are sooooooo *nice* without her constant drama, narcissism, and rudeness to everyone. I'm never nervous because I know I won't see her. Everyone else in the family is kind, reasonable, accomodating, and pleasant to be with. I've just totally LOVED my holidays since I stopped inviting my sister. My only regret was not doing it sooner.

It would be nice if everyone in the family could be happy together in harmony, but in many cases it's just not so. I truly believe from my own experience that sometimes a family member is so toxic it's best for everyone involved to keep them out of your life.

Families stick by each other much longer than normal people, but some people abuse that fact and behave terribly, stomping all over their family just because they can. But I think that really bad behavior should not be tolerated, no matter who it's from. Life is too short to not be happy.

Answer 4

Your sister has a greater effective face shape... you're able to get a hair decrease and sweetness that flatters your face shape. additionally do your restyle your eyebrows there is an tremendously awkward arch there that is fastened with a sturdy eyebrow pencil and pair of tweezers don't get me incorrect, you're very especially and that i could think of this question became loopy if I weren't in a matching difficulty whilst i became your age, because you're the two alluring!! :D

Answer 5

Whether she is envious or not, she is your sister. There is nothing you can do to make it all go away. She thinks that money=happiness, and that's just something that some peope need to learn on their own. You can't teach her that money isn't everything. You don't have to spend alot of time together, but you you shouldn't cut yourself off from her. You can still have a relationship, without actually relating.

You want me to tell you to 'write her off from your life', and to support you, but that's what your husbund's for. Not me, so hey give me a bad rating for being rude, but screw it. It's all your decision....

Answer 6

wow, someone's a little full of her self. Don't flatter yourself, I'm jealous of my sis but it's not like I want to be her, how do you act around your sister? Truly ask yourself that, my sister and I are best friends, even if she is a drop dead gorgeous model with a rich italian bf and a lovely life, it's because she's also the kindest person I know and all the material things don't even matter after that. If sisters love each other then it doesn't matter who totally robbed the gene-pool of the insignificant traits. That's all I gotta say~

Answer 7

You should have done it earlier. it was nice of you to endure it all these years. But now, yeay for you! I'm so happy for you! =D really! Too bad she's missing out on her own life because of too much envy and competition and resentment.

Answer 8

Dont write her off because she is insecure about herself and her life.You need to tell her if she wants the nicer things in life like you have shes need to stop watching and being jealous of you and do something with her life!!!!

Answer 9

Well we have more in common than our names. My brother is very similar in his behaviour and we are not close as a result. One thing I never do is flaunt my success. He has problems and its not my fault. If he ever wants to be friends, he can call. If not, then I have a good life without him.

Answer 10

I think you've done the rite thing.If she can't take u as u r and ur life then u needed 2 get rid of her.She was like poison.Good thinking!!