I know this happens to nearly everyone; I still feel bad...
Last year me, my brother, & 2 cousins all had babies within 4 mths (each 4 wks apart - September, October, November [mine] and December [my brother].)
We exchanged gifts at Christmas b/c we all only see each other twice a year. For my nephew we get both "birthday" & Christmas gifts, but for the cousins we haven't ever exchanged gifts so last year I wrapped gifts in in baby shower paper not Christmas paper & I thought of them as baby gifts not Christmas gifts. (Last year this caught one cousin by surprise as they hadn't bought my daughter a gift...) I thought gifts was a one shot deal...
This year the awkward shoe's on the other foot... they both bought Christmas gifts for my daughter, but I never bought anything for their kids. On top of that 2 sets my of aunts & uncles bought my daughter gifts as well (My parents didn't buy anything for the cousin's kids either.)
Now we feel terrible. Do I fix it (and how?) Thx!
2006-12-25 15:12:17 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Write a thank you card and do not mention that you didn't buy a gift or that you feel guilty or anything like that. Just be sure you send the thank you note (handwritten, through snail mail) in a timely fashion. That's the most gracious thing to do at this point.
I had that happen this year. I just plan to send a thank-you note and not worry about it. Trying to send a gift late is going to look like guilt, and I know that when I give a gift, it's to make someone happy, not make them feel guilty. I know my uncle would rather get a nice thank-you note than a guilt-gift.
They were not obligated to buy your kids presents and you are not obligated to buy anyone presents.
For future instances of this: When I go to family gatherings, I do try to have extra "generic" gifts in the car (2 generic child gifts, 2 generic adult gifts) in case I've forgotten someone who will physically be there and might feel left out.
I understand how you feel; I feel the same way sometimes. But there are bigger things to worry about, so let this one go. (After sending the note!)
2006-12-25 16:42:53 · answer #1 · answered by Amanda L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For now, write a really nice thank you letter.
But for the future, try eliminating the entire problem by establishing some sort of "Secret Santa" type deal. It's a fun, exciting way to celebrate the act of Christmas giving without all the worry as to who ought to buy gifts for who. Introduce this idea to the other people in your family, they'll be sure to catch on.
I hope this solves your problems!
2006-12-25 15:24:52 · answer #2 · answered by Ark 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For nnow, just show appreciation for the gift. Next year, either get everyone a gift or be the one to initiate the discussion of whether everyone or no one will bring gifts. A good idea might be to exchnge names. Everyone gets and gives one gift with an agreed price maximum.
2006-12-25 16:05:34 · answer #3 · answered by Gracesuf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be grateful. Send something next year if you can afford it. Christmas should not be about giving just because someone gives to you. Don't feel bad. Gifts are about giving because you want to, not because it's expected. Don't get wrapped up in that mentality. I stopped doing the gift thing, it's too expensive.
2006-12-25 15:18:29 · answer #4 · answered by Dianne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You write a really charming thank you letter and let it go at that. Or you could have a frank discussion with everyone on what you should do about gifts, and try to set a limit on what a reasonable amount is to spend.
2006-12-25 15:14:59 · answer #5 · answered by Katherine W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you can 'fix' it, but I'm sure its not a big deal. Talk to people before next year about expactations. If you feel wierd just ask each "So are you buying anything for the nieces and nephews/cousins this year?, I'm trying to make my shopping list."
2006-12-25 16:23:21 · answer #6 · answered by apuleuis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think giving a gift out of remorse is in the Spirit of Christmas, so just say thanx and move on.
2006-12-25 15:26:08 · answer #7 · answered by Changed 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say "thank you". Next year, make an agreement as to how you will handle gifts. They are gifts that means they come from your heart not from a sense of responsibility.
2006-12-25 15:18:05 · answer #8 · answered by graff_monster@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you could talk witheveryone, and tell them how you feel, and suggest drawing for names for next year, so that you are only buying one gift. You could let the children do the drawing of names and be involved.
2006-12-25 16:10:52 · answer #9 · answered by yikes! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say thank you & move on. No need trying to 'fix' things.
2006-12-25 16:17:04 · answer #10 · answered by Extr3m3leySexxee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋