Some would say that Internet/long distance phone friends are just friends...which makes perfect sense.
But why keep it a secret?? And espect a gal not to feel uncomfortable: Especially if the comment has been made "It's not what you know that should worry you, it's what I don't tell you???"
Why lie to the long distance person AND the "real" friend????
Please don't ask for details...you wouldn't believe them if you knew! Feeling hurt and not really sure if it's justified...
2006-12-25 14:55:29 · 15 answers · asked by coffeegirl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wow... I'm surprised at the number of responses at such an odd hour... any one want to tackle this in the daylight hours???
2006-12-25 23:53:13 · update #1
I think that besides mutual friends, it's OK for you to have your friends, and him to have his. HOWEVER, the secrecy is a red flag. Why should he be talking about "what I don't tell you" as something to worry about? And lying is never acceptable in a relationship. Something fishy is going on, and it would worry me.
2006-12-25 15:01:12 · answer #1 · answered by cruztacean1964 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being very vague, even so I'll try to answer.....if you have a lover, are married or in a serious relationship, yes, it's emotional cheating and often it leads to more serious cheating. It's not OK and there is no way to justify such behavior. Secrets cause emotional withholding of self......down hill from there.
2006-12-25 15:25:17 · answer #2 · answered by noel_1939 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm not sure I would call it "cheating", but I definitely know that there are some trust issues going on here.
Usually if it's a secret, then they are probably more than friends.
Unless they see both of their "friends" as the kind of person that they cannot tell this kind of thing to, because they are scared of the reaction they might get.
It all depends on the situation. =]
2006-12-25 15:00:38 · answer #3 · answered by Shelby 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Technically, having a long distance "Friend" isn't cheating, but the motives to keep said "friend" a secret might be reason for some questions. But if it's totaly innocent, there's not much to be done.
Good luck.
2006-12-25 14:59:34 · answer #4 · answered by Richard W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me it is cheating. That's what I call an emotional affair. It can be almost as hurtful as a physical one. The comment your bf said should tell you there's a whole lot you still don't know. Why lie to both of you? Well, so he can keep you both of course!! Dump him and get someone you can trust. Good luck.
2006-12-25 15:03:33 · answer #5 · answered by mjm52 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one. I'm going to say you should always trust your instincts. (Mine have helped me many times!) It doesn't necessarily mean cheating, but it can be hurtful. There shouldn't be secrets in a relationship, especially if someone is getting hurt by them. I've been in a somewhat similar situation so if you'd like more advice please feel free to email me! Good luck!
2006-12-25 15:03:19 · answer #6 · answered by Wicked 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES!!!! If they are just friends then why is it necessary to keep it a secret. I have been thru this personally and I know exactly how u feel.
2006-12-25 15:02:31 · answer #7 · answered by blueeyed_cutie1980 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say cheating, but definitely going in that direction!! that's why you lie cause the intention to play is there! Don't let nobody hurt you.he's already telling you with that comment! what a JERK!! Please GET IT!! cause you deserve better than that! Trust me your heart will heal and get stronger!!
2006-12-25 15:14:15 · answer #8 · answered by mamachula01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There should be no secrets in a serious relationship. That's known as "game-playing".
2006-12-25 14:58:25 · answer #9 · answered by Delta Charlie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If said secret friend is just that, a friend, I don't see how it is cheating.
2006-12-25 14:58:14 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋