Social Phobia?

Question

I have been struggling with social phobia for most of my life.

It started in high-school when I used to just 'clam up' at random moments and have thousands of irrational thoughts popping into my head, while going red inthe face and wanting to just get the hell out of there!

These days, my social phobia is preventing me from living a normal life (i.e. no women in my life!).

Any ideas on how to fix this problem?

Yours,

Adrian

Answer 1

well i dont know how to phrase this or put it in nice terms. some techniques i've used that improved myself over time include

-learn really smart things other people dont know about
-use nice sophisticated language
-think of others as less than yourself
-pretend like you own the room you walk into
-keep telling yourself you can be around other people but you dont want to be, which is ultimately what's going on
-be witty, be a smartass when someone talks to you

these may not make you most woman friendly or popular, but it sure as hell got me over the whole 'shy' thing.

Answer 2

Mark just do this one little thing. Take the Briggs-Myers test. It's on the internet. Find out your personality type. Be 100% honest with the test, relaxed, attentive, sincere, alert, dedicated. Keep in mind that, you really can't take it twice. The first time is the time that counts, so make it real, don't be cavalier, or second guessing, or twisted in any way when taking the test -- give your honesty to it 100% -- tell the test about yourself in a fully truthful way. Do it with care, but be relaxed. Phobia is a strong word. People with a real phobia often wind up on Paxil, or worse. You may just be an INTJ (like me). So, find out. Then you can steer yourself into occupations you will most likely be good at, and you will have a lot less anxiety about your life. You may find that phobia feeds on itself, so when you start making better choices, given your personality type, you create a negative feedback loop and you start building down (or right-sizing) your self-diagnosed "phobia". I'm just giving you Truth here (that's my job as a Mentat), not love, so don't try to contact me, OK?

Answer 3

Well, do you have at least one person that you feel comfortable with? If you do, hang out more often and maybe when you guys go to meet new friends and stuff, his presence will make you feel more comfortable. You don't have to talk too much cos your friend will do all the talking at first, but as the conversation flow, you will know what to ask and say. Don't worry too much on what to say, because you will be too cautious and self conscious, resulting you not saying anything at all.

A second suggestion would be for you to get a pet, like a dog. They help a lot when you have issues. Take the pet to training school or clubs where you can meet with different people and mingle around. If you want a solution, it has to start with your action, and you need to take the step.

Answer 4

Awesome article on social phobia: http://www.themodernman.com/index.php?module=pagemaster&PAGE_user_op=view_page&PAGE_id=72

Answer 5

Yes...see your doctor so they can get you on a medication that will help you overcome this

Answer 6

every one has this problem, just they are more gutsy then you and me. the only way to cure it is take a deep breath in and start talking to some one. at first its weird but it gets easier as you talk. it is weird...but you cant inch into your fears, you gotta jump in completely.