If I were to get married in 3-4 years I could honestly say I wouldnt have the money. Is it something you started saving for years before you met your spouse-to-be?
2006-12-25 13:53:27 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Okay what if you DO want to have a big wedding....
2006-12-25 13:58:35 · update #1
When I got married my mother gave me the option of having her pay for our wedding, or if we paid for it ourselves, she would give us $10,000.00 to do what we wanted with (except spend on the wedding!). We took the 10k, and had a small simple wedding in a friends flower garden.
I know you want a big wedding.... BUT...
Let me just tell you this -
I have done weddings for years, the flowers, the planning, the decorating, everything. I've done all my sisters, cousins and friends weddings.
The best weddings are the small simple ones where only your closest friends and family are present. You don't get worried about meeting a bunch of relatives you don't know. You don't have to plan table settings, and who's going to sit by who. You don't have to worry about feeding everyone and people RSVPing so you can get the food ordered. You don't have to pay off your wedding for the next 10 years on your credit cards (if you end up paying for it yourself and don't have the cash). You don't have 25 fish bowls and hydrangia plants in your garage afterwards (or whatever else you buy for decorations!)
I would find a beautiful location outside, that would be free or next to free that doesn't need decorated because it's so pretty already. Buy yourself a simple sweet wedding dress, and your fiance a suit if he doesn't have one. You don't have to have a bridesmaid or a best man, but a little flower girl might be nice. Find someone who does flowers to make you a hand tied bouquet and provide some rose petals for your flower girl. Rent or borrow chairs. Buy a cake and call it good!
Another great thing about having a small wedding, is you can hand make fabulous wedding favors for your friends/family and even hand make your invitations. A small wedding is much more personal and easy to pull off.
Save for the next 3-4 years and then put that money towards a house instead of a wedding. The memories are what make your wedding special, not the hugeness of it. I loved my small simple wedding. The entire thing cost us less than $500 and it was perfect. No stress, no worries, no lost tuxedo or expensive bridesmaid gift, no huge reception line to wade through. Just us, 10-15 friends/family and a wonderful memory.
Good luck to you and your fiance!
2006-12-25 14:17:18 · answer #1 · answered by rtlsimpson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Parents of the bride are no longer obligated or expected to pay for the wedding. Unless they offer it will be up to the wedding couple to pay for the wedding. If you cannot afford a big wedding then you'll either wait until you can or get really creative.
Frankly, it's not something worth going into hock about. You can host a wonderful wedding on a budget if you are able to compromise.
2006-12-25 22:24:12 · answer #2 · answered by weddingqueen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WE paid for our own wedding. There is a way to cut costs on just about everything. I happened to find beautiful paper at the dollar store and printed our invites. It cost more to mail them then to make them! Have a family member or a friend that bakes great cakes, is a great cook, a florist or just really crafty? That can save a bundle than going to a professional. If you also spread out what you need to pay for over 6 months or a year it isn't as painful on the pocket book. Just remember less is a lot of times more, and make it yours!
2006-12-25 22:07:31 · answer #3 · answered by darrinsbabydoll 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes my husband and I had help. Although our wedding in total was tasteful, the grand total for everything was only around $3,500. We got the church with reception hall for less than $150 because my husband was a member there at the time -- that was a huge savings right there. My parents paid for the flowers in the church and my mother made all the flowers for the bridal party to carry/wear as well as the center pieces for the reception. My husbands family paid for the reception dinner and made all the food at the reception. Whala. And I still had a 500 dollar Cinderella gown to boot.
2006-12-26 00:23:01 · answer #4 · answered by up_all_night 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're old enough to get married, you're old enough to pay for it yourself. If you can't afford something that you really want, find corners to cut so that you can have it. Don't go into debt whatever you do. No you don't have to start saving before you meet your spouse but you do need to shop around to get the best deals. Also, put in overtime if you have to. People get married on tight budgets all the time.
2006-12-26 00:17:04 · answer #5 · answered by Cinnamon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We paid for ours, the only cost shared was my stepmom buying the cake. We had a very small wedding, we spent $20 on a clubhouse rental, and maybe $70 on my dress, my husband wore his regular suit. We didn't have flowers, because I said I'd rather have balloons! :-) We had a very small and special wedding, my father-in-law married us, and it was so nice. My brother took pictures for us, and my MIL paid for copies.
I just don't understand why people would struggle to spend so much on a wedding. The marriage itself is the important part...and once I found the guy I wanted to marry, the wedding ceremony itself was not as important.
2006-12-25 23:23:06 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no point in fussing with all the fluff, unless you come from a wealthy family, weddings nowadays are way over priced. I would have a simple wedding, with lower costs, and focus on you and the better half's commitment to one another-- that is what a marriage is about, the commitment! The wedding is just for fun, you can't take it with you, and there's no point in going in debt for the remainder of your lives together just to foot a picture perfect fluffy wedding. Good luck, whatever you decide. :)
2006-12-25 22:02:46 · answer #7 · answered by spamneggzzz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi there
I was a little niave and didn't even think of costs but when we annouced that we were to be married, a few days later my mother and my mother in law were both in my ear about the budget that i had to stick too and what they could afford to pay for the wedding. They ended up paying. I think parents just expect that they will be paying for their children's weddings.
We did pay for some tihngs that i really wanted and weren't in their budget but all wedding companuies like DJs, celebrants, etc all let you pay them off and i was just paying off $20 each a week . It all worked out
2006-12-25 22:00:09 · answer #8 · answered by lrppr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
saving is a must, and it does not matter if you are going to get married or not.
in the case of whether you have the money to get married, i think it depends on how you want your wedding to be. It can be as simple as only the registration, or a grand wedding party. It depends. Love does not only endure if you have a grand wedding.
2006-12-25 21:58:12 · answer #9 · answered by sassy girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should start saving way ahead of time because the bride and groom are the ones responsible for paying for it.
If any parents/relatives come forward and volunteer to help with the costs, that's "icing on the cake" and very kind and helpful of them, but you can't ASSUME that that will happen-- in the end, the real financial responsibility is on the couple.
2006-12-25 23:01:23 · answer #10 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋