I have a boyfriend who has a relative ( who is in his mid 20's) who has an alcoholic problem. This relative likes to get drunk daily and can be violent at times (luckily, not towards anybody). He has been kicked out of the house several times, he's been to AA meetings, and his family, my boyfriend and I have tried to help him out in many ways, but he refuses to hel himself. I'm getting extremely worried because my boyfriend and I noticed really big cuts on his arms, and they looked pretty deep. I feel horrible, because we have tried everything we could and he is still causing a lot of pain to himself and it's hurting us all. What else is there to do? Serious replies only. Thank you!
2006-12-25 13:08:58 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
There's not much that you can do. A person has to want help in order for anything or anyone to help them. It is very hard to watch, but until he desides that hes had enough then there's nothing you can do but love that person and pray that they come around. I'm sorry.
2006-12-25 13:17:37 · answer #1 · answered by kandi 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you really can do is hold an intervention. Gather everyone who loves him and cares for him and let him know he is loved but also let him know how much he is hurting each and everyone of you and that you will NO longer put up with it- u will not take his fone calls or even be friends with him until he does go to treatment. He apparently has alot of emotional issues- and could be a cutter- someopne who cuts himself to release inner pain. The alchohol is not helping either. He needs professional help and it has to begin with his family and his friends. Use tough love by making him choose between you and your friendship or getting help. its really the only way since he is over 18
2006-12-25 13:25:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He could be suicidal. You might be the only one who can save his life. I would call the suicide hotline with your questions about this. He may need to be hospitalized. No one wants to have someone admit them into hospital especially if they are alcoholics. You could get down on your knees and say a prayer for him too. I will too. Ask him where he got the scars on his arms. I may not be an attempt to take his life, he may be a cutter. I think I would call the suicide hotline for some information on what to do if you really care about him. God bless and good luck. It is really sweet that you guys are helping him but remember not to let it take over your daily responsibilities or not to let it get you depressed. Dont allow someone elses problems to be all you think about, but just keep being a good friend and call the hotline for him. Gabs
2006-12-25 13:48:52 · answer #3 · answered by Gabs 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Alcoholics and drug abusers are many times... "self medicating" and trying to feel better. They keep trying things: booze, pills, and sometimes hurt themselves, by cutting themselves. This is serious. and I believe he's begging for HELP. In any case HE NEEDS to get help. He may have an undiagnosed illness. Only a psychiatriast can diagnoss: depression, or bi-polar illness, or other such illnesses. In any case HE NEEDS to get professional help...by possibly talking to a psychologist...and sharing his feelings in a CONFIDENTIAL setting. This is the START to saving his LIFE. But, He had to ADMIT that he needs and WANTS help. HE NEEDS HELP. You really care about him...I can tell from you question. He needs to TRUST someone and have that someone....go with him to the doctors or hospital. ANd to always be by his side for SUPPORT through the sometimes LONG and difficult process of evaluating and helping him.
2006-12-25 13:42:37 · answer #4 · answered by Carolyn M 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you haven't already, try telling him it makes you and your boyfriend uncomfortable. Say that he could become violent towards others any day and that it makes you and your boyfriend feel unsafe, and that you feel bad about that as you know that he would never willingly hurt anyone. Telling him it causes others discomfort may cause him to think about help more than if you merely tell him it is hurting himSELF, as he may care about others he loves greatly and may be willing to change or try to change for them more than he is willing to do so for himself.
2006-12-25 13:23:56 · answer #5 · answered by Earnesty_in_life 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
have an intervention, and maybe when he realizes that his family cares for him he'll stop...try to "scare" him out of it...try finding a movie or something that shows things that have happened b/c of alcohol....but seriously i think u should have an intervention, make sure u guys say things that r going to make him think about what hes doing...u can have ur b/f stay away from him, at least when hes drunk...
2006-12-25 13:55:30 · answer #6 · answered by basketball_69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend's relative but I agree with Kandi. Please, please pray. Other than that all that anybody can do is to be there for him, support him, love him, protect him till he finally see life's not worth living miserably. I don't have much suggestions but I know that there is only one that can help; with men its impossible, but with him its possible and I hope that your prayers will help in this crucial point in his life.
2006-12-25 13:31:51 · answer #7 · answered by anna 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to tell you but there is nothing that you can do. If he wants to go into rehab to help himself then he will. other then that you and your boyfriend need to back away and don't inable him with his drinking. Best of luck
2006-12-25 14:06:09 · answer #8 · answered by cheoli 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you can't do anything for him until he wants help,as much as you want to help,you are really delaying his recovery because he knows he has you to take care of him.go to meetings for family of addicts,they will tell you in more detail how to "help"him the most.he must hit bottom before he starts to climb out of his hole
2006-12-25 14:17:28 · answer #9 · answered by ladyaspen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋