I cheated on my boyfriend and I don't know how to move on.?

Question

I cheated on my boyfriend of two months with my ex. My ex is the big one, my first love who I almost gave up everything for, and whose break up with me left me devastated for months. I just got over it, or thought I did, a month ago. When i got back for winter break, i was working with him now and old feelings resurfaced. We had dinner for old times sake and I ended up going back to his place. He found out the next day and broke up with me. We both have always had strong stances about cheaters and taking them back, which adds to my self loathing and disgust with how weak I was. I've given up hope of getting him back, I love him too much to ask him again to take me back. But I need to know, how can I move on? I feel so guilty, I hate my ex and myself. I love my boyfriend very much and it's killing me to know I have broken his heart. I don't know how to move on knowing I cannot trust myself and knowing how I am capable to hurt someone that much.

Answer 1

Personally, I'd suggest you actually get together with the one you cheated with. Only in this way will he be able to burn you time and time again. One day "YOU" will realize this and decide that it is truly over for good. As long as you have feelings for him, even embedded feelings, it will always be on the "Back Burner" in any other relationship you are in.
As far as strong convictions- I think both of you overlooked one factor, you are not dealing with a science project. You are dealing with living lifeforms, and they are not perfect. Often they can be influenced to make the wrong choice in life, and as long as they can realize this, and admit to it then there is a chance to move on beyond this. Naturally, everyone deserves a second chance as long as they can be honest - if there is no honesty between us then all is lost, is my way of thinking. I do not believe in a third chance; however, because that is an indication of a pattern not a mistake.

Answer 2

I'm pretty sure you are at point of giving up on him yet you still want to be with him. And I agree. I mean he is being honest with you. And you rarely find that kind of person around that would actually go that far and get themselves tested for STD and to top it all off, being concern for you and the baby that he might bring the disease . And getting stressed out being away from you and all. So the way I see it, you should forgive and forget. I know it is SO hard to forget about I mean I feel you. It is just SO hard. But then again, you both are a family now. Just think to yourself and ask yourself, was there ever a time in you past relationships that you had an affair with someone else? Then think about how guilty you felt after the fact that you had an affair yet you still wanted to be with your boyfriend at the time. Then try and understand how your boyfriend must of felt and forget about it. Try and work things out. A child needs a mother and a father to have a balance life. Just because you find out that your relationship isn't perfect doesn't mean you should move on after all you have been through with that person. In reality, there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. People make mistakes. And now that a baby is involve, you both have a responsibility to be together for your child. You should put yourself in your child shoes, would you want to live with just your mom or just your dad? Who would you choose to live with? Don't you wish it would be up to you to decide that they should stay together? Think of it from your child's point of view even though he/she is still young. I know how you feel and I've been there. I was always looking for a perfect relationship unfortunately there is no such thing. So all you have to do is work things out. You are not alone in this situation, I just hope you feel better. I hope you have a friend to talk to comfort you in what you are going through. You take care of your precious self. May our Heavenly Father bless you and your baby; your family. Take care Luv, yours truly sis!

Answer 3

Give yourself some time and space to think about what you really want. Don't beat yourself up, we all make mistakes. Learn from what happend. Look at the reasons that you made the decisions that you have made.

Although you cant take away what you did doesnt mean that you cant move on with your life.

Try looking at the reasons that you broke up with your ex's before getting involved with them again. Chances are those same problems are gonna be there that you broke up with in the first place.

Start doing things to make you feel good about yourself again, look within yourself at what you want and what type of person that you want to be. Its almost a new year and anything can happen. good luck.

Answer 4

If it were me that was your new b/f, i would kick you to the kerb-and buy you a bigger mattress...you seem to like mattresses. There IS no excuse...you cheated-and it doesn't matter who with-when or why, or for how long, you cheated plain and simple. Let your new b/f go-he deserves much better than you, you WILL cheat again, whether its with your plank of an ex-or some other plank, but you will cheat...you have already said that you cannot trust yourself, so there is your own answer to your own question. I've no time for cheaters-you can all burn in the fires down below as far as i am concerned.

Answer 5

maybe you should stop dating for a while until you can get yourself into a better place. you seem to love too many people and want to be with too many people. i would never consider a person that i have been with for 2 months and actual boyfriend. that would be more of just the "dating" stage. you messed things up with the current boyfriend, it was only 2 months, so let it go. if you really want to get over the ex, you have to completely separate yourself from anything that has to do with him. do not work with him. do not have dinner with him for "old time's sake". all the things that you already know that you should;t do because the feelings will come back again. eventually, the pain will fade.

Answer 6

cheating hurts people, and destroys all trust, if u loved your boyfriend so much, why cheat on him? go to the boyfriend and tell him how u feel, and that u were wrong, and what has to happen before he will consider it. but know that maybe u won't get the answer u wanted, could be he won't take u back. but than theres always a chance he will. we make choices in life, sometimes those choices create our destinies. need to stay away from that ex, he doesn't have your best interest at heart.

Answer 7

Oh get over it, you didn't care enough for boyfriend not to cheat on him so he can't of meant that much to you, as for your ex there is a reason he was your ex but you chose to ignore it and ruin someone else's life for your own pleasure.

To me it seems like if you can forget your boyfriend that easy you won't really have a problem "moving on"

Answer 8

Did you need you go back to your ex to know if you still love your current?That is a very bad way of doing things.To move they should be both your ex now,Get a new boyfriend and never go back to any of your ex that is nothing new there.

Answer 9

aww hun its ok alot of ppl have been there. heres what i think the best option is, and if its not, i hope u find the right one for u.

go to him, tell him flat out, i know u wont take me back, i understand why, all i want to do is appologize for hurting u so much. nothing i can ever do will undo it. it was possibly the biggest mistake of my life. i hate myself for it, i hate my ex for it, and i can never take that back. i'm so sorry i hurt u. if u wont take me back, and if u wont forgive me, can u just accept my appology and i want u to know from the bottom of my heart i say i am a discusting rodent not worth ur time, and i'm sorry i'm wasting it with my pathetic groveling, but i want u to know, i feel horrible for ever hurting u.

ok u dont have to say that exactly but let him know that u feel horrible, but dont ask him back. give him time, and if u feel u want to ask him back, do it after he's healed...alot. and dont beat urself up over it. u obviously still had feelings that couldnt be helped. just remember everything happens for a reason. i hope everything goes ok for u, and i'm sorry u have to go through this. i wish u the best.

Answer 10

Truth is the only thing left for you. At least I think so. You can hide the truth from your b/f but sooner or later he will find out. and believe it will happen when you don't expect it at all.
I think it's time for you to take responsability for what you have done. Talk to your b/f. If he really loves you he will forgive you.