How is a lack of a father going to affect my love life?

Question

I'm an 18 year a girl and I've never been in a relationship. I'm just not interested in people my age, at least for an actual relationship. I often hear that the type of people you look to into relationships depends on the relationship of your father. My friends, I all see them going for people who are like their own fathers. But me - my father left me when I was two years old. I've spent some time with him, but I do not know what he is like as a person at all for I often feel he is putting on an act during the time in which we are together. How is this going to affect the type of men I choose to be with when I do start to have relationships with men? The people I'm attracted to (I'm basing this on celebrities, politicians, musicians) are usually older, people like Jeffrey Combs, Robert Carlyle, Bill Moseley, and Crispin Glover. I also find myself attracted to people who aren't necessarily the social "norm" of being "attractive", and usually have ..unique personalities.

Can someone perhaps explain this. I don't want to end up with someone who will leave me, or hurt me.

I'd also like to add that I am often attracted to people who are violent in movies. People who kill, or hurt others physically and violently. I know if someone tried to hurt me that I would NOT tolerate it, but is this in any way linked to father? He never hit me, but apparently he hit my mom, and that is why they divorced. I never really talk about it to her so I don't know how this would influence me, but maybe. The mind works in mysterious ways.

Answer 1

You're not crazy. You're just not attracted to men your age since they are not usually mature or educated.

It's all part of the plan.

The second part of the plan you just added is more complex. You may be attracted to certain behaviors on a subconscious level. You're also not alone there, either.

Answer 2

Im not a psychologist. Speaking from an outlook i have at people in your same situation that ive been around they tend to date older men when they do date. You didnt have a father so your gonna probably go for the older man thats gonna be the financial backbone and protector you lacked from the father figure you didnt have in your life. Ive seen women turn very easy and promiscuous sleeping with alot of men, or any man that gives them the time of day just to have that male affection they lacked not having their father their. Babygirl you say you dont date that much. When you do start dating keep it simple. Dont turn into those women and youll be fine. You father missed out on knowing a very smart girl. It's his loss. Youll make the right decisions.

Answer 3

Relax, kiddo....
Bummer about that. Listen to me.
Right now it is considered "icky" for girls to be attracted to older men. But actually they're a safe course, usually. I don't understand womens' current attitudes. Women have always recognized the value of a stable, mature, responsible, financially secure man up until this generation. If you're attracted to a not-so-hunky older guy.....then odds are you're going to find a guy that will be an excellent father and a loving, providing husband. A 30-ish accountant or engineer may not wow your girlfriends, but he'll be there for you and you don't have to worry about him running off. He'll appreciate you and be your life-partner.
Best of luck to you. I think you're on to the right course of action. Somewhere out there is a not-so-hot-and-horny-immature-guy, a real man, a mature, respectable man, that you're going to be a wonderful gift for. Bless you. I wish I was that man.

Answer 4

I think you'll be okay. You might have some issues with trust when you start dating, if anything, but you know yourself better than any one of us can tell you.

Also, I think you've reacted quite healthily to your father's abandonment compared to many others. The only two girls I've known in similar situations (one's father died when she was around 11, the other's abandoned the family when she was a toddler) turned out to be majorly promiscuous throughout their teens.

One of them had a baby at age 16.

Answer 5

usually girls that do not have a good father or a good father figure at all wind up dating or marrying men their fathers age due to wanting that daddys little girl feeling you are the one who decides on who you really choose to be with if it is someone your fathers age or younger or what ever its your choice but you need to really ask your self if you are with that person for the reasons you want or a need be basis and about being atracted to ppl who are violent and killers in movies it just sounds like you have a little freaky ness in your fantasies and every one has freaky in them i dont care who they are......you go girl just dont let it get for real of letting some man really hurt you dont ever ........

Answer 6

It may not affect you at all. However, since you haven't had a father figure for most of your life, you are likely to seek out someone who is passionate, committed to you and intelligent. Looks are not so important to you because you realize how little attractiveness really means.

Best of luck. I'm sure that you'll be fine.

Answer 7

no longer a all, you in basic terms spoke back your question your self. that's by way of the fact u had a guy and he omit taken care of you and marked you for existence. what u could do is attempt to forget approximately this b a s t a r d and understand that there are a number of adult adult males outthere who're no longer in basic terms like the single that hurted u,.,, u in basic terms gotta look greater useful. additionally provide an excellent gamble to this adult adult males u say u dated yet cutted off early.. consistent with danger they're those yet u in no way gave them the possibility.. look no one is suited alongside with u... so each guy u discover would have a subject u in basic terms gotta the thank you to handle it... thats it...

Answer 8

If you're attarcted to people for who they are then whats so wrong about that. Don't worry, just let it go to. Good luck.