wat is the funniest joke u ever heard?

Answer 1

This is the funniest I ever heard,

A guy who was riding a packed jeepney (public transport in the Philippines where everyone's seated on two long benches like bunks in trains, facing each other) and he feels like he really needs to release some offensive gas...

So he says to himself, "It's ok. The music's pretty loud in this jeep. I'll just time my, um, uh--explosions? to the loud beats, so they'll never know."

When he does, even he's shocked at the stench.

At his stop, he turns to the driver and says, "Para, po. (Stop here, please.)" He noticed everyone looking really angrily at him. He thought, "Oh, no. They know. How'd they guess?"

So he gets off, with plenty of side comments from fellow passengers, some heckling, some gagging, among other things. He felt really humiliated and astounded, asking where did he go wrong -- he timed it so perfectly, he thought.

Only then, he realizes, as he stands there at the curb. He was wearing headphones for his player. :)

Answer 2

Things a Man Would Do if He Woke up with a Vagina
10. Immediately go shopping for a vibrator
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half
8. See if he could finally do a split
7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping-pong ball 20 feet
6. Cross his legs without rearranging his crotch
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 20 minutes
4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too
1. Finally find that damn G-Spot

Things a Woman Would Do if She Woke up with a Penis
10. Get ahead faster in the corporate world
9. Get a bl**job
8. Find out what is so fascinating about "beating the meat"
7. Pee standing up
6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently
5. Find out what it is like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm
4. Touch/shift herself in public without a thought as to how improper it might seem
3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks
2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction that occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member, which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement
1. Repeat #9

Answer 3

at some point a guy became waking alongside the sea coast whilst he tripped over a lamp. He rotated and kicked the lamp out of anger. some seconds later, a genie popped out of the lamp, however the genie became offended that the guy had kicked his lamp. Reluctantly, the genie pronounced, "even nonetheless you kicked me, I nonetheless could provide you 3 desires. even nonetheless because of the fact of what you probably did, i visit additionally provide two times what you desire for to the guy you hate the main: your boss." So the guy agreed and made his first choose. "i desire a brilliant form of money", he pronounced. rapidly 22 million money look in the guy's economic business enterprise account and 40 4 million regarded in his boss' account. For his 2nd choose, the guy wanted for a pair of activities autos. rapidly a Lambergini, Ferrari and a Porsche regarded, yet on a similar time exterior his boss' domicile regarded 2 of each and every automobile. finally the genie pronounced, "it somewhat is your final choose, you're able to decide on heavily", and so the guy spoke back... "i've got constantly wanted to donate a kidney..."

Answer 4

the Panda joke..
A panda walks into a bar orders a sandwich he eats the sandwich shots the waiter and leaves the bartender say hey what that all about the panda say " Iam a panda look it up." So the bartender gets a dictionary and looks up panda. It say Panda eats, shots and leaves

Answer 5

the funnest joke is the joker who tells the joke

Answer 6

okay this joke was sooo funy I heard it when i was 3rd grade.

There are these three guys. The first guy liked to say,"Me,me,me,me,me." The second guy liked to say,"With a gun, With a gun, With a gun."
The third guy liked to say,"Were going on a trip! Were going on trip!"

They were driving in a desert. They found this dead guy. a cop went up to then and asked,"Who killed this guy?"
The first guy said,"Me, me, me, me, me."
Then the cop asked,"How?"
The second guy said,"With a gun, with a gun, with a gun."
Then the cop said," your all going to jail!"
Then the last guy said," Were going on a trip! Were going on a trip!"

this is sooo funny!! i was laughing for 5 minutes!!
-camille

Answer 7

Got this joke from BabyGirl's post:

I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.

"The moral of this story is:"

"Always keep your condoms in your car."

Answer 8

the one wit the cheese

wich is not ur cheese??
nacho cheese
( not yo cheese)

Answer 9

a chicken fell...

did you find it funny?... the chicken didn't find it funny to..!! lol

Answer 10

none this week.