Do you think my dads being totaly unfair?

Question

ok so im 13 and my bf is 16...so wut theres 3 years diff anyway my dad wont let me do ANYTHING like hang out with him...he wouldnt even let me go to the movies with him tonite...god i hate my dad anyway do u think hes being an ***? i do :)

i know hes not using me...we love each other..he got me this necklace ...18 karrot gold =)....so yea if he didnt love me i dont think he wouldve done that...i asked him if he would wait for me if my dad didnt let me do anything for a while he said yes =)

Answer 1

no he's just being your dad, i'm a mother and i'll be dammed if my child is going out with a 16 yr old at the age 13. You at the age you are can't see what your dad is trying to protect you from and you wont until your a mother yourself. he's only looking out for you and your safety. At 16 boys only want to see how far they can get with girls and then brag to there friends about it. So just listen to your dad and suck it up, dont be so quick to want to be fast.

Answer 2

As a non-parent (but hopefully a future-parent) and a former 13-yr-old girl, I can see both sides.

On the one hand, you feel that you're pretty grown up, you and your boyfriend have something pretty special, and you want to spend time with him. You don't see why Dad has to be such a jerk about the two of you spending time together- it's just a movie, you two can handle it.

On the other hand, your dad's been a 16-yr-old guy, and he has a pretty good idea what makes your boyfriend tick- he understand much better than you where your boyfriend is coming from, and what he's capable of (both good and bad). Chances are, Dad was a wild kid, and fears that your boyfriend is like he used to be, and he doesn't want you to be exposed to that kind of guy. Give your dad some credit- In his mind, he's doing what he thinks is best for you.

I personally would try to seek a compromise. See if Dad will let you and BF hang out together at your house, with Dad as chaperon. As unpleasant as it may seem to you, try inviting your parents on a date or two with you. Give your father an opportunity to get to know this new "man in your life" and make a more informed judgement regarding what kind of boy his little girl is spending time with.

Just remember that your dad loves you and wants you to be safe. You will always be his "little girl"... I know that's still how my dad feels, and I'm 31.. and married!!!!!

Answer 3

It's totally understandable that you're pissed off right now. I would've been too when I was 13, but, like many others said, he's just trying to look out for you. This is something you won't understand until you're older and/or you have children of your own, but try to look at it from his point of view for a second:

This man has seen and experienced a lot more of the world than you have yet. He knows it can be a dark, cruel, and sick place.

He created you with your mother, and saw you from the day you were born. You're a part of him, and he feels a totally primitive drive to protect you at all costs. He will die for you. He will kill for you.

He was a 16 year old boy once, and he knows exactly how boys that age think, and even if your boyfriend isn't acting like he wants sex, it's deinfitely on his mind. A lot. It's a biological thing.

He wants you to live a full and happy life, and will do just about anything to make sure that happens. He knows that you are your own person and will do what you want, but he is trying to steer you in a direction where you won't ever be tied down to something against your will (like having a kid before you're ready, etc.).

And a part of him is having a hard time accepting that his little girl, who was once a tiny, helpless newborn in his arms, is growing up. :)

So be angry. You have the right to be. Everyone does. But do try to give him a bit of a break. He's trying his best like every parent.

Oh, and I have to say Mari's post (the one above mine) really hits the nail on the head. She has the voice of experience!

Answer 4

13 & 16 is a huge age difference. When you are young that is a big gap. When you are both adults an age gap isn't a big deal, but now it is. I'm actually wondering why a 16 yr. old would even be interested in a 13 yr. old unless he just thinks you're an easy target. You may not agree but you are still a child. I wouldn't let you out of the house with a 16 yr. old either. I think you should stop and realize how lucky you are to have a dad that worries and cares about you. Not everyone is that fortunate.

Answer 5

He's is acting like a loving father who wants the best for his daughter. When you are older, three years isn't anything. But when you are 13, three years is a lot. I'm sure your boyfriend is a nice boy, but I don't care if he goes to church 3 times a week and sings in the choir, if he's 16 and male, all he thinks about is sex. Your dad used to be a boy that age and he knows. It's not your boyfriends fault, that's just the way boys that age are. And if you think you have the kind of love for each other that is the "Hundred Year" kind, that just goes to show you how immature you are. Trust your dad sweetie. A girl's daddy is the only man she can truly trust. Remember that for all your life.

Answer 6

Well obviously you need to grow up a little before you date a almost grown up! POLEASE saying you hate your dad because he doesnt want you to date a guy whos 10X more mature or at least i hope he is he would haft to be more than you. Asking if ur dad was being an *** well im gonna be honest with you and say youre dad is right on this one. So now are you gonna call everyone else who thinks the same as your dad an *** to? GROW UP YOUR 13 ENJOY A GUY YOUR AGE!

Answer 7

If you were my daughter, he would not be your boyfriend. There is no reason for a 16 year old to be interested in a 13 year old. You're dad is protecting you because he knows what is best for you. And also, just because your bf bought you jewerly does not mean a thing.
When I was 13, I was too busy being with my friends being a KID to be worrying about a boyfriend. You're too young to be getting all caught up in this. Slow down a little bit. You have the rest of your life.

Answer 8

I am 45 and I can vividly remember being 13. I know how you feel and I know that you cannot imagine how much growing you have left to go.

I also know this: If your father let you date this guy, that would prove your father did not care about you. It would prove he didn't care if you focused on your education, on your own development. If would prove he didn't care if you got pregnant.

There is no way this can lead anywhere good. Your boyfriend has a strong sex drive, like all 16 year old boys and - unless he is gay and dating you for cover - he will be wanting sex from you soon. Well before you are ready for it.

Having sex creates attachment, strong attachment, leading girls to make very stupid decisions about their future.

At 13, you should not be dating anyone at all. You should be reading, writing, developing your self. YOU YOU YOU.

Your father loves you and cares about you and that's why he's doing this. It would be sooooo easy to give you your way, so easy not to suffer your abuse. You don't think it hurts your dad like crazy when you are mad at him? And yet, for you, for your future, he is willing to suffer this. Why don't you care as much about your future?

Stop dating and start doing something useful with your life so your not a sad, poor, ignorant single mom at 17. Go hug your dad and thank him for loving you.

Answer 9

I think it's horrible when kids say they hate their parents.

How well do you know your dad, really? How well does he know you? Look, your dad is the way he is for a reason. Why not take this opportunity to talk to him like an adult, and perhaps he'll be more willing to treat you like one. Sit down, calmly open discussion... "Hey Dad, I know I've screamed and yelled at you and said I think you're being totally unfair, but you're obviously older than me and must have a good, rational reason for not letting me go on dates. Can we talk about this?"

Well, it's just an idea. Remember this when you are 30-something and you won't let your 13-year-old daughter stay out late, alone, with a 16-year-old man who is essentially a complete stranger to you.... I'm just saying, try to see it from his standpoint. Maybe he'd be willing to let you invite your BF over for dinner, so they can get to know each other, then maybe he'll be less paranoid?

Answer 10

Have a communique with basically you and your mom and dad. tell them approximately what you reported and the deal your brother made you're taking. Then tell your mom and dad approximately how tricky you worked on the extra suitable chores. clarify on your mom and dad how unfair it grew to become into that your bro did no longer even provide you of undertaking to do the chores. Then tell them which you ought to have been observing your bro, despite the fact that this is not all your fault that your BROTHER disrespected the guidelines your mom and dad layed out. prepare them what you propose via asserting, "If I have been to thieve in public, you, because of the fact the mummy and dad, could ought to take the fall particularly, yet i does no longer pass unpunished because of the fact i could have been the single to do something incorrect." Then do no longer borrow any funds from all people considering which you're at last going to ought to pay it decrease back.

Answer 11

You're too young...goodness me, I'm on your dad's side with this.

And it's not surprising that you are hating your father right now- you're 13.
Like it or not you are still his little girl and you will always be his little girl.

Be thankful you have the kind of Father that doesn't allow you to run around doing what ever you want and getting into trouble...he loves you and you should admire him for that.
Don't be so hateful towards your dad, he's acting in your best interest whether you think so or not.