Why do I always mess things up???

Question

I am a smart and attractive 23 year old female. I graduated from college and have a good job. I do not drink or smoke. I am a honest good person. I just seem to always mess things up and make stupid mistakes. I think it is because I am such a perfectionist that I get nervous and do not think.

I recently called my new boyfriends sister's house this holiday and called my boyfriend the wrong name. They think I am cheating on him now.

I accidently sent the wrong document to a future employer and lost out on the job.

These are just two examples of my mistakes. I am afraid that there is something wrong with me.

How can I prevent these stupid mistakes in the future?

Answer 1

Those "stupid mistakes" may be with you all your life, as they are with me from time to time, as when I can't get my wife's name and my neighbor's wife's name right, such as the right name with the right wife. The solution! Quit being "such a perfectionist" and realize we all make mistakes, some dumber than others, like the time as a teenager when I was kissing a girl goodnight from a date, and I couldn't get her name right until the fourth try. As you can imagine, we didn't date long. And if your career faulters a bit from your "stupid mistakes", just remember that old phrase, "God works in mysterious ways", and maybe you weren't supposed to have that job. God may have other ideas for you, so don't call His ideas "stupid". God Bless you, and your mistakes (lol).

Answer 2

Teach your mind to focus better.
Do this;

Go to a gym store and buy a standard weightlifting curling bar.
Also, buy pairs of weight plates in as many sizes as you can afford. If you need to budget this, go every payday and buy another pair of plates. FORGET olympic or chrome plates, they are a waste of money.

Put some plates on the bar, put on the plate clips. Lie a wall clock with a sweep second hand on the floor in front of your bar and plates.

Pick up the bar and plates. Keep your elbows bent, your knees bent, and bend over a bit. WATCH the second hand on the clock. HOLD the weight for approximately 60 seconds.

The weight should feel HEAVY after 30 seconds, ie. your arms start shaking. If it feels heavy the instant you pick it up, too heavy, cut back on the weight plates.

What this does; when you keep your elbows, knees, and back BENT, your muscles are holding the weight, not your bones.

As the weight get's heavier, as the seconds tick by, and your muscles get more tired and more tired, your mind will quickly stop thinking about all the things in your head, and focus, very narrowly, on the clock and the seconds going by. ALL that will matter is the physical effort to hold THAT WEIGHT. Your brain will learn to FOCUS on one THING ONLY, with time, doing this brain and body exercise.

Do this every day. Once a week, add a little more weight to the bar. A bonus, your body will tighten up, get stronger, and your fears and worries will also go away.

In time, buy a power rack. You will then move to the next, and final level of achieving mental and physical success, beyond anything you ever dreamed of.

Answer 3

Unfortunately, mistakes happen whether you like it or not. Stop being so hard on yourself. The only way you can prevent mistakes from happening is if you learn from them the first time and refuse to do them again. Just dont make the same mistakes twice. If I was perfect, I would think something's wrong with me cuz nobody's perfect. But keep that desire too.

Answer 4

well if you are as smart as you say and it would seem you are.
then i think you need some better means of reducing or controlling your anxiety . as well you might not really be feeling all that great about yourself and although you appear ok to most even to yourself often you might be real suffering from some depression that has as a symtom some kinds of self descrutive behaviour.
i would go with the first one first and really work on relaxation maybe meditation taught to by a professional . all of that along with just doing things you do enjoy . do all of that and really really work of changing the thoughts you have about yourself . thought stopping might be good for you as i think you might over think things and in the end get so messed up by the inner dialog that you mess up when its time to do what your suppose to do.
this is all based on this little bit you told me so this could well be the most useless answer on yahoo.
regardless i hope you have a good new year.

Answer 5

I think a lot of it has to do with confidence and how you actually deal with the mistake. When I was less confident, I know I made more mistakes because I was not sure of myself. Then when I made the mistakes, I'd beat myself up for them and forget that everyone makes mistakes. Now when I make a mistake, I try to just laugh about it, and it makes a huge difference. Hope this helps=)

Answer 6

Dear listen there is nothing wrong with you. I suggest that you relax and realize that you are HUMAN and mistakes are going to happen!

Second I suggest that you somewhat try and tone down the perfection habit you have and again relax. This is why your messing things up. Your getting to ahead of yourself to stop and see what your doing.

I am sure that your boyfriend knows your not cheating and it was a simply mistake. Heck I'm even sure his sisters have dialed the wrong number in their life. And sisters are going to be protective of their brother.

That's all you need to do hun nothing else nothing more but relax, realize your human and stop getting ahead of yourself. Things will fall into place and be just right!! Try it you'll see!!

Best of luck to you!!

Answer 7

Just be careful and double check things. The two examples you give aren't that bad - sounds like you BF's family are pretty stupid and can't except an honest mistake. Try relaxation techniques for controlling your nerves - there's nothing wrong with you

Answer 8

Slow down, you are moving and thinking too fast, take a deep breath and check your self twice before you act don't be in such a rush and all will come together, I know I am guilty of similar problem

Answer 9

You seem like a good person and should just be more careful about what you do and say so that people won't mistake it for something else.

Answer 10

Everyone makes mistakes, don't obsess about it. If possible put together the materials that you are sending to someone, and come back and check it an hour or so later before sending it.