How to deal with a loved one who is mentally ill or mentally challenged?

Question

My 24 year old son has acquired a mental illness over the past few years. He wants to think he is independent but he is no where near independence and won't seek treatment because he doesn't realize how sick he is. What's a mother to do?

Answer 1

In my 20+ years as a mental health practitioner, now retired, I have seen the term "mental illness" thrown around loosely and thereby abusing "diagnosed" individuals. If he's been diagnosed as mentally ill as per the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM), then we can talk more specifically, but in order for me to help you, you're going to have to give me specific behaviors (as in plural) that will tell me very clearly why I should agree with you that he's mentally ill, and be able to recommend treatment. Otherwise, it sounds like you have a typical young man as an adult, and he's definitely outgrowing your parental bounds, and they can do it in the scariest manners, and the tighter you pull on the reigns, the worst it gets. So, be sure of your "diagnosis" before you get in the way of your possibly very healthy young son. I have a 22 year old son, and even though I'm his dad, and we have a very close relationship, and I have "been there and done that", he can still worry me, and when I yank on the reigns, he gives me a "go-to-hell" look that tells me he's not a kid anymore. God Bless you.

Answer 2

Ma'am I suggest that you give your son time. If he was "normal" and have aquired this illness then he's not aware dear. And that is where you come in, it's hard to tell your child that things arent' the same for them now and now things can be done but in a different way.

This is going to be a rough road to start but over time things will get better and better. Right now, just allow him to continue on of course not getting into trouble,hurting himself and the like you'd have to step in then.

Also has his doctor talked with him to let him know what is going on? If not then I do suggest that you , your son and the doctor have a conference. This is something that your son deserves to know and the doctor should explain this to him in a way that it's understood.

The doctor will be able to answer any questions your son or you may have and mainly inform your son of his illness.

This may also help ma'am, course you may have already traveled this road I'm not sure. But just in case I thought I might mention it.

Be there for him ma'am as I'm sure you are because in time he's going to need you more than he's ever needed you in his life. And also you need someone to talk to as well, this has to be breaking your heart and you need to be able to talk.

Good luck to you & your son.. I hope that everything works out for the best.

Answer 3

Your circumstances are incredibly difficult. What I would suggest:

1. Contact your local Crisis Hotline, usually affiliated with your area Hospital and phone number is in the phone book or call the ER and ask for the number. Talk with them about strategies for talking with your son to encourage treatment.

2. You may wish to link up with your local NAMI's family support group to get some help from other family members who have been through similar experiences (see www.NAMI.org).

3. Don't hesitate to go and visit a psychologist or social work for your self to (a) help deal with the stress that you are likely experiencing, (b) explore strategies to communicate with your son, (c) find firm but comfortable ways to set boundaries with your son so as not to reinfoce his denial.

4. While it is out-of-print, you can order it on Amazon used, I highly recommend the book When Madness Comes Home: Help and Hope for Families of the Mentally Ill by Victoria Secunda. I had read it a number of years ago and found it very helpful as a therapist and also for families I worked with.

5. Unfortunately, sometimes tough love is necessary and a thick skin on your own part as your son may not seek help until he is forced to because he becomes so unstable he qualifies for nonvoluntary committment (threats to self or other; severe psychosis; recklessness or legal involvement) and often times successful treatment requires the individual's acknowledgement. You can try to have other family members confront him or encourage him to consider treatment--sometimes mothers get tuned out by their children because these are the voices they most often hear. In the end, you will also need to take care of yourself.

In short, I would highly recommend NAMI if they have a branch within driving distance for you.

Best,
Katie MacDowell, M.Ed.
Masters, Counseling Psychology
Doctoral Candidate, Clinical & Health Psychology

Answer 4

sure, all got to work with psychological ailment in 2001, college replaced into no training for this and my first few weeks on the pastime have been undesirable to assert the least. Then I have been given delicate, forgot all of the academic BS and had the main suitable time I even have ever had on a job, wager thats a expert, seeing someone strengthen slowly over the years and with the flexibility to make their day is a strengthen to me. Cons: Psychiatrists, they have a tendency to prescribe however ther pharmacuetical reps are pushing so as that they get their perks and this somewhat screws people up, so make it a factor to get to appreciate the scientific docs and bypass along with your customers in the event that they permit you. I moved directly to enormously lots each disabling situation and universal i'm going to assert that the pros are something interior you, in case you may help those people for loose then choose for it and make slightly money. The cons: with the intention to make a living you may get further and extra training, no longer completely undesirable yet costly, then there are the various distinctive lisences and certifications, don't get caught up in all that till you already know precisely what you wanna do and make your distinctiveness, do no longer anticipate lots economic pay, inner maximum continuously will pay greater, sucks once you spot your shopper fail. in basic terms some issues.

Answer 5

Try to seek out suport groups or talk to a therapist about this. It must be very difficult for you to understand, since the onset is recent. Mental illness is difficult to treat in some people. Continue to be supportive and seek support. Prayer also helps.
Good luck and God bless.

Answer 6

I'm a nurse. This can be very difficult. I would give him space but not too much. Only what you know he can't do that you interfere. I know this is hard but you have to do what is best for your son. I know personally what you are going through, and it can be a challenge sometimes. Try hard to give space but at the same time you still have to protect him.

Answer 7

Deal with? What happened to nurture?
If your son is a threat to anyone or a danger to hinself, no matter what his age, then it is your duty as a parent to take the necessary steps to see that he gets help. Consult a professional. Surely you have had a professional involved before now! Why stop?

Answer 8

How is he now? I know it has been a while but my son just turned 20 and he too has developed some mental issues.

Answer 9

You can go to a doctor and have your son detained as a last resort.Best of luck.

Answer 10

Let him try things on his own. He will learn by the natural consequences.
The worst thing you can do is coddle him.