I met someone nearly 3 years ago and we dated for about 2 months. After I ended the relationship we tried to stay friends, because we lived nearby at the time. We have since grown into extremely good friends and share most things. We have also both dated since breaking up.
For about the last year we've had what can only be described as a "casual relationship" where we act as friends most of the time but when we are both single we usually end up sleeping together. I know this isn't an ideal arrangement but at the time she seemed very willing while knowing it couldn't go further. It's been during this time that I decided to let her know that I loved her and cared about her greatly, but while I am sexually attracted to her I couldn't be romantically "in love" with her because when we dated it was a disaster. She has since revealed things herself:
She thinks I am the lvoe of her life, she never want sto be with anyone but me, which I don't want.
2006-12-25 08:17:31 · 8 answers · asked by jleslie4585 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She hasn't dated for nearly 9 months and shows no interest I am told by her friends. I have tried being honest about my dating which has led to her breaking down in tears at the mention of liking somebody, before I even date them. Hiding this also causes problems as she finds out and it is worse for keeping it from her.
What I want: For her to have a healthy life without me and to find someone to make her happy as I'm clearly not. I find it hard to imagine my life without her as a friend but maybe it's needed. But she clings on so desperately, when I try to break away she calls constantly or turns up on my doorstep, swearing she'll never want anyone else. I care for her very much but I cannot be what she wants me to be. And I don't know what to do anymore. She won't move on, her actions prevent me from finding people and dating and I cannot be locked in this "casual" relationship that has us waiting for a crash. Any advice would be appreciated.
2006-12-25 08:23:07 · update #1
ok so i'm lost! do you not feel the same way about her anymore? if you do, then there shouldn't be any question as to what you should do. i know you mentioned that when you and her were in a relationship it didn't go to well, so this time just ask her what y'all can do to make it better.
2006-12-25 08:23:59 · answer #1 · answered by felita2004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Manlaw stipulates that your "ex" remains your "ex" unless she is your baby momma or she is coming over your place for a booty call.
If you do NOT want a booty call, then you can't entertain any of her e-mails, calls, or entreaties at the door.
It is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to inform her, however, that she is NOT ALLOWED UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES to drop by your place of residence without your express permission.
If she still refuses to move on, then it is TIME for the face-cracking talk because she refuses to catch a clue and move on.
And remember, manlaw states there is no such thing as a "friend with benefits" because women "catch feelings".
2006-12-25 16:32:30 · answer #2 · answered by DaMan 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dude, do not rock the boat. Let things go as they will, this is how you and her behave and keep in balance. Move too much, then all of you are inbalance. Just keep plowing each other while keeping your options open.
2006-12-25 16:21:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's complicated. do u enjoy ur sexual relationship? and will u stop it when both of u start seeing someone else? she thinks you are the love of her life, and she is only attracted to you sexually, i dont get ur point,. you loved her, and r u in love with her now? what advice do u want? start with her officially again or get rid of her? sorry, bud, so many questions....
2006-12-25 16:25:12 · answer #4 · answered by monroe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give it another shot. she wants another shot. just go for it. the second chance could be the one. good luck, marry christmas and have a happy holidays
2006-12-25 16:21:18 · answer #5 · answered by Joho 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, you've really gone and screwed things up this time havent ya??
well, youre just gonna have to tell her how you feel pimp daddy!
good luck to ya.... sheesh!
2006-12-25 16:21:33 · answer #6 · answered by DEVIL IN A BLUE DRESS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why don't you give it another try, it seems to me, that you love each other more than you realize.
2006-12-25 16:39:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
give it another shot!
2006-12-25 16:24:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋