I went out with my bf for a year and 2 months he broke my heart real bad ....he broke up wit me over the phone and told me that i think we should go our seperate ways out of no where.... everything was going good i dont noe wat happened well a couple of weeks went by and every good memory we went through together went through my mind well now Im tryin to get over it and I found someone else and my ex is tryin to get back with me I dont want to get back wit my ex because i dont wanna get hurt no more but then at the same time it seems like i was less stressed out wit him but i dont wanna just 4 get about the person thats been tryin to get wit me cuz he hasnt done nothin to hurt me in the past....im lost wat do i do?
2006-12-25 08:14:46 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you're in a better situation than it would first seem to you. often we get 'break up remorse' (my term) when we first learn an ex has gotten together with someone else (this may be partly what's motivating your ex). likewise when we're alone or with someone we're not that into (which may be you case) and an ex asks us to come back we we worry that saying 'no' will be a missed opportunity to be with our true love. finally, your concern over weather you can trust Guy A again is valid too.
a good trick i recently learned for evaluating what's important to you in a mate is to think of all your past relationships and list everything you liked about each one (e.g. looks, religion, personality type etc.). then go down your master list and 'cross out' each item one at a time and ask yourself could you stay long term with someone if they did NOT posess that quality. if your ex (Guy A) remains a strong contender after this process you need to consider the trust factor. why did he break up with you in the first place? why does he want you back? is he mature enough to answer these questions honestly for himself or you?
you might similarly apply this process in deciding whether to stay with Guy B (e.g. is he just a rebound relationship or for real?). ultimately you might find that you should give this current guy more time, or that you're lucky to have your ex find out the error of his ways or that really neither of these guys is right for you and that it's time to spend some time with yourself.
hope this helps...
2006-12-25 08:40:02 · answer #1 · answered by Ya_I_Know 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, breathe deeply for a minute or two here please. Now, guy A hurts you emotionally and didn't even have the chutzpa to break up with you to your face. Guy B hasn't had the opportunity to really even start a relationship with you yet. Plus, guy A wants to get back together with you. No wonder your feeling stressed out right now. My advise: Send guy A packing until he can get himself together both emotionally and spiritually. Take your time with guy B. You may very well have already found the "better man" as Eddie Vedder says.
2006-12-25 16:22:42 · answer #2 · answered by mangamaniaciam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok sit him down and talk 2 him ask y he broke up with u and y he wants 2 get bac 2gether if he really wants u bac then give him a chance but do u still like him? was he good 2 u? and if u dont like ur new bf as much tell him the truth tell him i like u but i really like my ex and i was happier with him and idont want 2 hurt u i just want 2 b happy agine and som other stuff u can think of but i would stay with ur new bf and just b freinds with mr.ex ok so get 2 no new bf and stop thinking about ur ex he really isnt worth the drama and um.... well good luck Merry Christmas
2006-12-25 17:34:13 · answer #3 · answered by ashley h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get back together. He just wants to control you at this point. There's lots of good decent guys out there dying for a good girlfriend. Open you eyes and give some of these good guys a chance. And don't bore them with tales of your ex.
2006-12-25 16:19:42 · answer #4 · answered by Hank Hill 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ask your ex why he broke up with you, then ask yourself if you would have done the same thing if you were him, also make sure that it was a good reason that he broke up with you, and while you are doing this think with your brain and not with your heart so your memories of good times wont get in the way of your decision.
2006-12-25 16:21:44 · answer #5 · answered by Stella G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Umm it was only 8 weeks.
That doesn't qualify as an "ex".
Just move on and dont worry about boys.
2006-12-25 16:17:09 · answer #6 · answered by Peter X. Long 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay away from him...sounds like he more interested in keeping you from someone else...and besides someone who breaks up with you over the phone is never worth getting back together with...
2006-12-25 16:17:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my personal experience do not get back together bc once you break up you've altered your relationship dynamic forever. You are tainted.
2006-12-25 16:17:11 · answer #8 · answered by bruce_eel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just go with your heart and pray 2 God 4 an answer.
2006-12-25 16:26:05 · answer #9 · answered by Mia Raven 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if he got you back don't do anything..just to show you are not jealous ignore him if you don't want him anymore,boys expect you to get jealous if you see them wit another gurl so dont get him back..but if you do that is only gonna prove you are the jealous type!see what i mean.
2006-12-25 16:19:44 · answer #10 · answered by Carolinex3™ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋