Would you be okay with your ex's girlfriend spanking your child?

Question

My ex-husband has been dating someone for 6 months and they moved in together 2 months ago with another guy who has a child; I'm not happy about that situation, but can't do anything about it, so here's my problem. The other day my son told me his dad's gf spanked him for pulling down his pants and showing himself to another little boy. He's recently become aware of his private parts and I have talked to him about it and told his dad to do the same although I don't know if he did. My son said his dad wasn't around when this happened. For one thing, I don't think the situation warranted a spanking, but the bigger problem I have is that his girlfriend is the one that did the spanking. I don't feel that she or anyone else who isn't his parent has a right to touch my child that way. Am I in the wrong?

Answer 1

I agree with you on both things. One this doesnt warrant a spanking at al. She should have talked to him and explained to him its not polite to pull your pants down in front of others. Its only normal- u show me your and ill show u mine- hey i think we all did it didnt we at some age? lol But no- he should not have been spanked by ANYONE for that. She should totally not be the one to ever spank your child for any reason! This is not her child. The discipline is up to your ex husband and not her! They are not even married so she is not even a step mom- she is nothing to your child and needs to keep her hands off of him! Tell your ex if it continues you will make sure his visitations become supervised! and it can be done! I know u dont want the father- son relationship to suffer- but she has no right to touch your child in any way shape or form! YOU R RIGHT! Id probably have to meet her in a dark alley and make sure she got SPANKED for being a fruit loop!

Answer 2

I don't think there is inherently anything wrong with the gf spanking your son PROVIDED you gave her your permission and she had the sense to do it when appropriate.

Neither one these was met. What your son did happens all the time with kids. There is absolutely no reason to punish for it. And of course, you have never been consulted on whether the gf could spank your child. Better have a talk with ex (and the gf as well if necessary) --and say it best stop right now.

Answer 3

You should definitely discuss this with your ex. I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with his girlfriend spanking your child, but you two need to agree on it being okay first. If it's not okay with you, which it obviously isn't, you need to talk to him about it. You're right, the behaviour didn't deserve a spanking. It's a normal part of growing up to be curious about your body.

Answer 4

You are NOT wrong! I would be infuriated! She may be living with your husband but that does not give her the authority to spank your son. I would understand if she would've explained to him to keep his privates private, but that's all! He did not deserve a spanking. I'm guessing he's two, three?
You have every right to tell her to keep her hands off your son. If I was in your situation, I would make it perfectly clear that the kind of discipline she's using on your son is only appropriate from you and his father. You are not being rude.

Answer 5

i don't know....initially i would say no way but i don't know how old your child is or anything about the situation.

did she tell your son not to do that and he went ahead and disobeyed? was he being disrespectful to her by not stopping when she said, "son, please keep your pants up?"

if so, then he definitely needed to be disciplined. you may want to discuss with her or your ex disciplining strategies that you both agree with - timeouts in his room, grounding, naughty mat - whatever....

if the father is living with her and she is helping to raise him then you really don't have a say as long as she is not abusing your child.

does your child still like to go to his fathers? does he like the gf? if he likes the gf and is willing to go and be with her then it probably isn't a big issue.

i know it is hard to take but co parenting is hard.

take care and merry christmas! SD

Answer 6

Umm...No I would not allow another woman to spank my child!! She has no right to spank him, she is not married to your ex and hasn't been with him long enough to think that she has that right....I can't see spanking a child in the first place...I mean I can see maybe a time out or something but spanking NO!! I would confront your ex and if he does nothing about it I wouldn't allow my child to be over there if this is going to continue!!

Answer 7

well i think he should be allowed to have someone close to the child babysit, and if she turly thought it was a serious situation, he could prolly get away with allowing her to spank him. But if you ask him not to let anyone but him spank him in the future, you should be able to trust that he wont

Answer 8

If another women hit my kid I'd kill her.No one is allowed to spank my kid except me and her father.That includes other family members.I go over to her house and kick in the door and then kick in her face.But hey I've had a very long hard day and doing that right now would feel really good.(too bad my ex doesn't have a stupid new girlfriend that I could kick the sh*t out of)

Answer 9

No, you're not wrong. It's just common sense that a person shouldn't spank a kid that isn't their own at least through marriage if not biologically. All she had to do was tell you or his father. Don't overblow it though, at the very least she cares (maybe), just let it be known that's not be done again.

Answer 10

HELLLL NO! I'd be causing som hell over this some B***** that dont even know my kid for more than a couple MONTHS s spanking my kid? ah naw, id ave her head on my pike in a heart beat. it wasnt her place, it was the fthers to take care of this matter when he got home/. ive known my friend for 9 yrs. she has a 3yr old and you wouldnt find me spanking her kids.