Interracial dating question?

Question

Why goes through the minds of people who limit their definition of beauty to a race that is not their own?

I don't have a problem with interracial dating that is based on true love or based on genuine attraction that has nothing to do with the other persons race.

But If you are going to limit your definition of beauty to one race, then why don't you limit yourself to your own race? To limit yourself to another race shows that you have self identity issues. To limit yourself to a race that is not your own is like saying "there is no such thing as an attractive man/woman in my own race".

In my opinion you should not define beauty by race(I've dated Asian, white and black guys), but if you are going to define it by race then surely you should define it by your own race.

Answer 1

You don't need an answer to this question because you hit the nail on the head.

You are a good example of an open person. We see things this way (I'm in an interracial situation myself, but I never say anything against my own race, nor the race of others).

Additionally, anyone who discriminates against their own race is somewhat discriminating against the very people from whom they came - their parents.

What people have to realize is that race doesn't dictate who you are. It's something you don't choose nor control. It's what's inside that counts. Every person in every race has the opportunity to be nice, honest, true, upright as well as on the flip side, dishonest, mean, cruel, perverted. It's a personal choice of the individual regardless of race.

I'm with you on this and I echo your comments. Unfortunately we can't changed the close-minded.

As for the response from edna_romano_1943, I would ignore the part she raised about the man's color. What did color have to do with what he did? Just because her daughter was killed by a black man, doesn't mean that black men are bad men and others aren't They are no less than any other color (race of) man. I understand that she was trying to make a point, but her point is irrelevant. I'm sorry about your daughter edna, but killers come in all colors; even yours (check the prison records).

Back to you Sarah, you need to be answering more questions and enlightening others with a mind like that! Stay as you are.

Answer 2

I date inter-racially. Being Mexican and German; I was raised to be white. As I was growing up, my family belonged to a german cultural group. I was not considered white enough by my age group because of my appearance. The only girls in school that were attracted to me were Hispanic and black nationalities and a few Caucasian girls. I moved overseas and had the same results with the Filipinos. I found as a grown man that people liked me for my character than my looks, but the acceptance level I felt comfortable with was based on my attractiveness I felt from others as a child/teenager. My ex wife was black and others I have dated since were of other non Caucasian races. I like all races but a girl must at least have dark hair and dark eyes for me to feel comfortable with her. So it isn't about not liking your own race. To, me it is about a comfort zone. Also without the genealogy pool having variety put into it, a race of a certain living thing will die off!

Answer 3

You are very right. If we limit the standard of beauty to a specific race, that would make us racist. And that's not good.

But I think the media and our society play a role in this issue. When we watch TV, we are constantly being brainwashed with a standard of beauty that is prejuxtaposing to our minds. We can easily find "messages" about how women with curves are pretty, or, the all-so-familiar belief that blondes are better and hotter than women with other hair colors. Or, blue eyes are more attractive, etc.

As we grow up watching and absorbing constantly all these standards, we unconsciousnessly use these limiting standards to judge people.

It would take people who are wise enough to see pass the social pressure and love someone for who s/he is, rather than his/her physical appearance.

Answer 4

Yes, I think this can be a big problem sometimes. I am white, and I have no problem with dating other races. I know that other white people look down on that, and to some people, if a white person dates someone *not white*, that they are sort of "belittling" themselves, or making them worth less... And some people look down on white people who do that.

This really bothers me, and I agree with you, that you should not only limit yourself to one race. There are so many wonderful people out there, and if you only look in one race, you might miss someone really great!

Answer 5

Well...

Since what is "attractive" to us is not really a conscious choice, but rather something entirely subconscious, usually, I don't see how your opinion could be applied to a large portion of society.

I also don't think that people do really choose beauty along strictly "racial" guidelines, but rather find traits that belong to a certain race particularly attractive.... For example, if you were a woman who liked tall men with very dark skin, and that was what you found attractive, I think you would soon be saying that you "usually only date black men"...... do you follow what I am saying? or, perhaps, if you liked men with narrow frames, and small hands and feet, with black hair, you would likely be attracted to asian men, and soon, you would say that you "usually only date asian men"....

This is a sort of reverse stereotyping, to be sure, but I think this is really how it evolves. I don't think anyone, when they are 8 years old, says to themselves, "gee, when I grow up, I want to date a person of such-and-such a race", unless there are social expectations of them staying within their own race.

It simply may be that when they do grow up, the significant traits of people within their own race are not what is attractive to them.

So, again, in general, I think that your analysis of people is a little too general, and perhaps doesn't really look at the actual reasons people may do this.

Namaste, and Happy Holidays,

--Tom

Answer 6

I would have to agree with you on this one. I find it a little strange to hear individuals to say, I only date within a certain race and other than their own race. Like they have difficulties with whom they are. I personally, have found a great deal of men within many different cultures and races attractive. However, I love men! Plain and simple. And find a great deal of different cultures handsome, sexy and desirable. I would never limit my self to one type or race of man. There are so many to choose from. Men, you gotta love um, and they are one of Gods greatest creations next to women of course. Have a great day Have a blessed Christmas and a wonderful New Year! God bless****

Answer 7

Nothing wrong with interacial dating. However, I truly believe we are all most highly attractive to our own race of the opposite sex. Just remember that the human genome project recently found out that human genome sequencing varies by as much as 10% when they previously had thought we were only sperated by less then 1/10 of 1%. This is huge!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It indicates we are quite different among our races. To me it explains many things, things that would not be considered politically correct to discuss here.......

Answer 8

I assume you are talking about people who have racial "fetishes". A friend of mine used to complain about dorky white guys who had "yellow fever" constantly hitting on her every time we went out just because she was asian. On the other hand, I always get hit on by the irritating preppy white guys with the "sista/booty" fetish, who then get confused because I don't sound/act "black enough". Most of the black and asian guys that I know only date blondes, and are very vocal about it.

It's one thing to have a preference for a certain physical type, and there's nothing wrong with that. But keep it to yourself. Don't put down one group of people in favor of another. If you have a preference for a certain physical type, people who don't meet that preference shouldn't even be on your radar one way or the other, so just leave them alone. Don't be like Wesly Snipes (He only likes asian women, so therefore all black women suck).

Answer 9

Interesting question. Obviously people who refuse to date within their race are screwed up.
Black men who refuse to date black women for example. I know black men who actually think black women are ugly. This strikes me as so totally alien that I start wondering if these guys are also a little gay- not that that's bad either- but to generalize about that large a segment of the female population seems to me that that person has a problem with women in general not just black women. And another thing guys like that usually have a lot of different negative personality issues which inhibit their ability to reason correctly.
It's self-hate to hate you're own race.
And people who say they tried to date their own race but couldn't find anyone suitable are full of crap, they didn't really look or if they did they picked people it couldn't possibly work out with.
I personally have dated many different races, but I avoid women of other races who seem to want me first and foremost because i'm black.
I'm just so much more than that.

AND THIS:
To Yu Yevon. I hadn't even read your post dude, and I do think you have a point...but not about black women. Your talking about SHALLOW women. You obviously see all black women as silly and shallow and in doing this you prove one of my points exactly
"And people who say they tried to date their own race but couldn't find anyone suitable are full of crap,.....they picked people it couldn't possibly work out with."
And about the gay statement, I think that about all guys who seem to me to hate women so don't get allbent outta shape.
Peace.

Answer 10

Yours is an interesting point. I believe that interracial dating is fine. I myself have dated women outside of my race and I have no problem with it. Some people in society are just bigoted but you can't live your life based upon the closed mindedness of bigoted people. Don't worry, enjoy good people, you got it right.