2006-12-25 06:34:49 · 26 answers · asked by Carol W 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Ask them why and decide from there with them!
2006-12-25 06:35:52 · answer #1 · answered by Trapped in a Box 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, how long have the two of you known each other? how long was your engagement? Were you engaged the begining of the year, the middle of the year, around the summer months, or just recently? Were you engaged for more than a year? 2 years? I would ask if your fiance had cold feet or thinks that maybe you are rushing things. Maybe setting the date back will be the answer. Or, maybe your fiance is just not a "marrying" type. Maybe, they are happy with the way things are and feel that getting married will "ruin" a good thing.
You should ask. If they do not sound so sure that maybe it is not the right thing to do at all, there are the red flags that are sounding off, waving in your head. That is when you know that this person does not want to get married-whether it is to you or to anyone-and you need to end this. There is no point in making someone get married when the really do not have any reason or emotions of getting married in the first place. That is the worst thing a person can do; doing something they do not want to do, but everyone "expecting" them to do it.That is really sad.
2006-12-25 15:43:10 · answer #2 · answered by uchaboo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years, and i could say that by the 6th month i knew i wanted to marry him, and he knew i wanted to marry him, but he wasnt ready. If someone is not ready, that you should repect that, and just keep having a wonderful relationship. Once in a while bring up marriage, but not too often, because you might drive them away. If it starts to become a problem where he/she says he/she never wants to get married, and you still want to, then i would suggest moving on, because you will n ever truly have what you want from each other. When 2 people get married, they should both want it as much as the other...
2006-12-25 19:30:44 · answer #3 · answered by eguth23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There could be many reasons, but one that comes to mind that is really pretty common is that he is waiting till he reaches a specific goal, whether it be $ or a promotion.
You don't give any information on how long you have been together, but if you are thinking about the big M, evidently it has been a while.
Does he give any kind of reason? Have you asked him why if he hasn't?
I really think you need to sit down with him and talk about things. If he has something in mind, now is the time for you to know.
If there isn't a really valid reason, then you might be trying for the wrong guy if marriage is what you are lookng for.
2006-12-25 14:44:03 · answer #4 · answered by Gnome 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a retired mental health practitioner with 20+ years of experience in counseling, I can see it's a pretty clear-cut choice. You can wait till your fiance is ready to get married, you can leave them and find someone who wants to marry you on YOUR time schedule, or, you can be "happy" with things as they are and not put marriage so high on your list of preferences / priorities. I know you may not like the choices, but it seems like you have no other choice. Like some of your other respondents have said, and I've heard for decades, you can't rush things like marriage. It can really mess things up for the two of you, and you'll regret it IMMENSELY!! God Bless you.
2006-12-25 14:48:12 · answer #5 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, since it takes two to marry, then you need to work something out. Each person will approach their coming wedding in different ways, so it's always best to try for a comprimise between the two of you concerning all matters of the wedding, if possible. Just keep the lines of communication open. Since it is your fiance then you know he intends to marry, just at a later date then you would prefer.
2006-12-25 14:43:09 · answer #6 · answered by marklemoore 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Breath in, breath out, move on. Something is not right with a sentence that includes the words "fiance" and not "ready to marry" yet. Think about it.
2006-12-25 14:54:02 · answer #7 · answered by JKS 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Worry a lot. That's why a real "engagement" has a ring and a date. The purpose of the ring is not to hold you off the idea of a wedding, but rather to set a date, get serious and plan a wedding.
2006-12-25 21:55:50 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have heard of these kinds of scenarios--with one person almost begging the other to marry them--It is not worth it--If you care about yourself and respect yourself then you do not have to convince someone to marry you--they should WANT to marry you---otherwise you are starting off on the wrong foot--marriage is about a mutual committment and mutual love/respect--Don't beg for love--Invite it--and welcome those who will respect you and who WANT to be with you--Find someone who wants you as much as you want them...
And if your finace just says they are not ready but still love you-well--you have to decide--it's okay to want to be married--that is a new level of a relationship--if you want that--be honest with yourself--and if the relationship can't progress there--then it's okay to find another one...
If someone is your finace--that means they wanted to marry you--they shouldn't string you along and make you waste your time...
Good Luck:)
2006-12-25 19:16:32 · answer #9 · answered by Shay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that you should wait untill she/he is ready to marry, if not, then the relationship may not work. Maybe she/he is confuse, and you dont wanna be living with that dilemma the rest of your life. Just be patiente...
Good luck my friend! and Marry Christmas...
2006-12-25 14:37:59 · answer #10 · answered by Confused 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you truly love your fiance, you will wait. But keep in mind that if he/she truly loves you that person would want to get married ASAP.
2006-12-27 11:12:42 · answer #11 · answered by StayJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋