After being together 5 years, my ex calls me tells me to come over to a get-together at his friends house. I didn't have a clue what was coming.
My ex had HIS FRIEND sit me down at the kitchen table and say, (in front of everyone), "Chad (ex) hasnt been happy with you for a while." and that was it.
My ex looks at me and just nods his head, and i walk out of the house in tears and humiliated.
I havent talked to him since. I havent called him and he hasnt called me.. But, why am i the one that still feels like crap after all of that!? shouldnt he feel bad by now??
I am 20. He is 22.
2006-12-25 04:35:19 · 12 answers · asked by texxxasgirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First, Chad does feel bad, but he values himself as #1. You should do the same.
You feel like crap because you are hurt. You feel that you don't deserve what you got. Totally understandable. In general, women want people to see how the feel when they are hurt (identify with their pain); this is why they usually want to talk. Men on the other hand, want whatever it is that hurt them to be moved out of the way until they have had time to get over it; this is usually why they get quiet.
There had to be some kind of signs over the last five years that your relationship was slipping. Sometimes we ignore them and that can result in what happened to you. Don't get me wrong, your ex has no balls for what he did (having his friend do his dirty work), but you should have had some kind of clue that he wasn't happy. People can't hide everything.
In the future, listen and watch so you won't be blind-sided again.
If he can do this kind of thing to you, you need think about moving on yourself. Don't wait for something that isn't waiting for you or that isn't worth the wait.
I know this sounds cold, but all you are going to do is end up depressing yourself and you are way too young to be in this situation.
2006-12-25 04:49:48 · answer #1 · answered by A Good Man 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are some who just can't move beyond 3rd grade...
Chronologically your boyfriend was 22, but somewhere he missed the part where he needed to communicate with you and not use a friend to verbally pull your pigtails.
It hurts and it hurts bad. Do the best you can to keep yourself okay. Repeat this phrase as a mantra "it isn't about me." Our inner voice is much better at telling ourselves we are the problem than allowing for the fact that someone else is the problem.
Find the friends you can hang out with or others who care and spend the time you need to heal.
best,
cez
2006-12-25 04:40:03 · answer #2 · answered by cezzium 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That has got to be one of the lamest things I've ever heard! He had his friend talk to you?! What a pussy!
That said, I do think it is easier for guys to move on. Once we have made that decision, it's kind of like a light switch we turn off. Once we have turned the relationship off, we can move on almost immediately. Women seem to need a lot more time to process the transition. Women are more emotional, that's why!
2006-12-25 04:45:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that you should move on too..........if he doesn't feel bad about it then it just proves that he just isn't worth to be your boy friend. Hey now don't go about pulling in the entire "guys" thing into the same category.......There are lots of us who will really care for people they love..........it is just that you got in with the wrong one.............so now, don't you worry, get up, look around, and you might very well get lucky!!!!!!
2006-12-25 04:46:32 · answer #4 · answered by Rejo J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of sweetie--he's not much of a man if he couldn't tell you this face to face and he had a friend tell you right in front of him. So in this case--I'd be the one to be happy and put my runnin' shoes on! Go get yourself a man who truly respects you for you and love you for you. You're a good person--you deserve much better.
2006-12-25 04:39:51 · answer #5 · answered by smeezleme 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just forget about him. He is just so LOW!
Really. He couldn't handle his emotions and planned to do it to make you feel bad so that he feels superior. Just forget about him and move on.
2006-12-25 04:39:03 · answer #6 · answered by sassy girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men can stop the pain and just forget the bad times and move on...
2006-12-25 04:36:52 · answer #7 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't stereotype, He is not all guys. Why does it matter to you how he feels now. It's clear he is moving on, you should too.
2006-12-25 08:48:11 · answer #8 · answered by Mike M. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i hate it when guys let others get involved in your relationship! i think he's too immature, maybe take time apart will be a good way for you.
2006-12-25 04:39:52 · answer #9 · answered by little asian gal in cresent city 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sure he does feel bad,men just dont like to show their feelings
but how do you move on......?
put one foot infront of the other...try it
2006-12-25 04:43:12 · answer #10 · answered by nobodyspeical00 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋