O.k. if people invite themselves over or just come over on general and you make them dinner, serve them dessert, etc. Should they assist you in washing the dishes before they leave? I'm not talking aqcuainences. I'm talking good friend's and family. I ahve done so many dishes these past few days. I WILL NOT serve on paper plates or in styrofoam cups so please don't tell me to use them.
2006-12-25 03:21:40 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
if you are a guest you should help.
if you are a host, you took the responsibility and they have
no obligation to help. you can use body language to encourage them. you could say "jenn, can you help me get these in the dishwasher?" usually if you start cleaning up in front of them it helps. or ask them for little things..."mom, could you bringme your plate" it takes finesse. but remember they don't know your kitchen and don't want to do it 'wrong' so they need structure and guidance from you. you need to change the 'culture' of your dinner parties if you want your guests to change their behavior.
consider saying something when you invite them...like "i'm having a casual dinner here on saturday at 6, we will eat then clena up the kitchen then play scrabble" or something that indicates your expectations. or say...hey on friday i'm cooking, i need some help with the eating and cleaning up part!
or "i'm making lasagne and you're invited to dinner if you'll help with the dishes!" just keep it light. i notice that when you get up from the table if you start carrying dishes to the sink in a certain way (nonverbally) you can make others think they should do the same.
2006-12-25 03:29:18 · answer #1 · answered by Sufi 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is not common etiquette for guests to have to help a host wash dishes. However, a person who has some experience might offer.
But some people just don't think about it and don't realize that they could make that offer. You can lead them in that direction by saying, as you get up from the table, "can you grab the plates and I'll grab the platter?" Once they are in the kitchen you can offer more. You're sort of teaching them and showing them what they might do.
They might back out at that point and but at least they helped bring the dishes in!
2006-12-25 03:52:00 · answer #2 · answered by Charlamaine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If we are talking family and close friends then they should help - but if they don't offer; try doing the following:
Excuse me (as you get up from the table) I need to start the cleaning so that I can visit with you all. Don't want to leave it till too late and have to end the party too early.
If you are talking a party with non-family or work acquaintances then you are in charge of clean up alone. Good people will offer to help you - I can't attend a party without helping the host!
2006-12-25 05:01:12 · answer #3 · answered by happy_southernlady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone should get off their A$Ses and help out no matter what or who they are.
I always start the roll of help by standing up and commanding everyone to pick up their own plate and deliver it to the sink. Making sure any garbage goes in the proper place as they walk by it.
NEVER assume anyone will help. YOU are to make it known that that is what you EXPECT of the them and they WILL heed or they will not be coming back for the next holiday. I advertise that so they all know where they & I stand.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh life is good when you are direct and let people know where the bear shlts in the woods !
2006-12-25 04:32:00 · answer #4 · answered by Kitty 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is so hard when people come to veg out in your place and when there is only one person cleaning up the house. I am still stumped on how to approach people, I feel sometimes it is better that they offer but they never do. I am talking of family here.
Maybe you suggest after a meal, simply just say anyone want to relieve me from the dishes now in a calm tone. Make a joke, I decided to go on strike.
2006-12-25 03:33:21 · answer #5 · answered by Emily L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be good manners for guests to at least offer to assist with dishes and clean up. Perhaps, you could say, let's continue our conversation while I go into the kitchen to clean up a bit. That should give them the hint that you would appreciate some help.
2006-12-25 03:26:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well good friends they would offer to help you wash the dishes, for one they will make themselves useful, make your parents happy and your parents will know that you have such a helpful friend and will not be really worried anymore with who you really hang out with, and well, good friends do things together, even when it comes to washing plate, why wait till someone come over to clean up your plate when you can actually do it yourself, unless like in some cases, the one who invites people over will say things like "don't worry let me handle the dishes, go take a rest" then..
2006-12-25 03:27:24 · answer #7 · answered by wai2kit 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, but it is up to you really. When I am at a friend's for dinner I always offer to help cleanup, but if I am refused I would not ask again. I know some people just do not like other people in their kitchens, while the rest of us really appreciate the help!
If it was my place and I was doing the cooking, I would not assume that they should help, but if they do then help is welcome. What ever makes them feel comfortable as guests. Of course those sort of guests get invited back twice as often!! :)
2006-12-25 03:23:43 · answer #8 · answered by AJ... Australia 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Well, I guess it depends on the kind of visitors you invited, actually when I'm invited to a party (which I seldom attend) I can't
help them because my culture ethic the visitors are always the visitors meaning you don't touch or help them. If you do they won't be happy because it will be bad luck and your taking all their good luck. On the other hand since I move here in a foreign country I always offer a help to my hostess, if I could help.
2006-12-25 10:15:16 · answer #9 · answered by linda c 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I dont think your being insensitive.. maybe your "friends" are just oddballs. I've encountered something like this but I was at my boyfriends for thanksgiving and there was alot to do and his mother wasn't feeling up-to-snuff so I did the dishes and cleanup by myself. Its unfair of them to ask you to do things like that if you are the guest.
2016-05-23 05:45:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋