i am disappointed and depressed?

Question

when my father and brother started a new business me and my husband were very happy for them, we were canvassing for them like mad.giving a lot of emotional support to them. i am the only daughter.but two years since then and we hav been actively telling people from our circle to go to their store.yesterday there was a big event at their store and half the town got invites except us.they only called up at the last minute when the event had started making it impossible for us to drive across town to be there . i am very upset.and feel ignored and seething from inside. how should i react though they gave vague explanations like forgetting etc etc.

Answer 1

They probably really did forget.
It's not fair that they forgot. But they really probably did.
They shouldn't have.

Rather than accuse, I would simply just say to them, "Listen, if you're going to have an event, please include me. Please let me know in advance so I have enough time to get there."

Asking for what you really want from them is better than stewing over what they are no longer able to give you.
It's too late for them to take back their having ignored you.
It's not too late to ask your father and brother for what you want from them.

Also, this was one event. Now that this happened, your father and brother probably feel guilty that they didn't warn you ahead of time. It is probably a case of guilt and embarassment on their end that they aren't saying any thing.

Had I been invited to a family event, across town, at the last minute, I simply would have drove across town. The reason is that no oversight is worth losing the love of family members.
It's just more important that I have my family members. I don't need the 'respect,' 'recognition,' I just need them present in my life.
How you react is really up to you, and no one else.
Those that you love aren't able to treat you how you want all the time. There are times when we all get overlooked, or down-right rejected by family members, or friends, or loved ones in general.

I lost a friend recently because I reacted to my feeling of being rejected, overlooked, and slighted. I thought that my feelings were more important than my friend being present in my life.
I couldn't have been more wrong.
Cool off and wait. The people you love aren't replaceable.

Answer 2

wow. That sucks.

It is easy to look at the whole thing with begrudging eyes.

I don't know your specific situation, but if at anytime you put money into their hands for the store to stay in operation or to get up from the ground level, I'd look at it as a business venture.

I agree with the other posters, it is possible they genuinely innocently oversighted your invitation, assuming you already knew about it or that you were "taken for granted" and would be there regardless. But don't take it to heart. They are your family and I am sure they would want you to feel included.........unless they are stuck in store mode.

If they do get stuck in this is my store not yours, then simply place it aside. Again treat it like a business venture and ask them to "buy" your equivalent interest out, in whatever manner you feel is appropriate.

I wouldn't seeth over it, but I would buy a nice gift and give it to the family members who own the store. You can include a heart felt card with it. Say something in the card that is uplifting and makes them feel guilty without you ever mentioning a word in disgust. "I'm happy for your (make sure to disclude yourself from the mentioning) triumph at the store. As I was unable to enjoy the fruits of the event, I hope this gift will show how much I wished I had been a part of it." Something to that effect, personize it and make them feel guilty for not inviting you. Either the gift will be accepted and understood or you will discover just how unfamily your family is. If nothing else, use that gift as a way to seperate your involvement with the store.

Answer 3

If I were you I would talk to them about the situation and tell them why would they forget and how could they be so vague about it and just say that it is not just something you can put aside-you're family-that is not how you should treat family, especially when you were there for them; you gave them support and for them to treat the situation like this is not right-not that you are just being ridiculous, no! your feelings are right and you have every right to be angry, I know they keep advising to forgive 'tis the season, but you what? if you keep your feelings all bottle up it is going to hurt you more. So, when you feel it is the right time do seek them out and tell them him hurt you are-it's more about the fact that they are family and not just that you didn't get an invitation, but it's the way they treated you like-being family and all and not having given you a an invitation, and if they so cared, they would act like it. Sounds to me like they are selfish and nee to be remind what family is all about!

Answer 4

Try not to get too upset.

If this was a big event, it IS distinctly possible that there was an accidental oversight. Running a small business is hard, and people make mistakes. This is your family and clearly you love them. It's ok to mention in passing that you are a little disappointed to have missed the event, but try not to dwell on it.

If there's a pattern here of you being snubbed, that's a completely different issue...but just this once, try to let it go.

Answer 5

I don't know what you should do, but I'll tell you what I would do.

I'd be upset with myself for having such high expectations of these people, when they are clearly not worthy of such expectations.

And then in the future I would be happy with any scrap of kindness they decided to throw my way. . .which I believe is how we should feel towards all people. That is, be always grateful and without expectations of payment of any kind.

I would try to take it as a learning experience, and not get unduly upset over something that's out of my control.

Answer 6

i don't think it was intentional, a lot's going on for them. maybe the invitation was assumed that you would come, given the fact you've helped them build the store?

tell them you're upset, but i'm sure they didn't forget to invite you for malicious reasons. it was an honest mistake.

Answer 7

It's hard--they were very thoughtless, but your reactions are only hurting you. They don't care. So, enjoy yourself, have a Merry Christmas, and just forget about it!

Answer 8

I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sure it was just an unfortunate mistake on their part. They surely didn't mean to hurt your feelings because they did call, even if it was too late.

Answer 9

Don't suffer in silence. Ask them WHY! Perhaps they have other issues under the surface.

Answer 10

I know how you feel, I am sorry.. just try not to think about it, and go cook and enjoy this Christmas day.

My family sux too- they seem to ALWASY forget about us. )):