Because of xyz reason's , i don't love my wife, i have a kid, i don't want tomake his life misarable, so i can't fight and argue with my wife, but i am feeling that i start hating my wife. Still i need to live with her, as i and she both love the kid,Please suggest me the way, still living togather, i don't want to mess up with her, and want to show that i am living happily, also need suggestion to make focus on kid and job. Please do let me know , if what i am feeling is , any body has the same feeling. I want to run smooth, and also not want to feel bad, having more and more fight day and night.
2006-12-25 03:05:27 · 23 answers · asked by yjph 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
you have to find a solution which is the best for all of you...it's not going to be easy but you shouln't be kidding yourself and stay with your wife just for your kid....
2006-12-29 02:54:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you both really care for your child , you both should make promises in both of your step .
No fight at anytime, Never to be seperated coz it is your kid who will feel bad by heart that you both are away and cannot spend time together like that of other kids.
I would say love your wife eventhough she done a mistake. That itself is a great punishment for her and she can change her by this. Everyone does mistakes in life from which they learn lessons. So forgive her and love her, I know it will be tough. But try yourself and be together. Otherwise sure this will spoil your kids life. If you did not give your love to your wife for her mistake, she gonna take things in different way and fight will be there allways.
when you love her, it will give her time to think and talk to you.she may ask for forgiveness. Then you can be happy. You have to forgive when she asking sorry. Then you earn her trust with you and you too. so this will make to forgive her and comfort her and let you lead a happy life and concentrate on your job.
2006-12-26 11:37:27 · answer #2 · answered by Mayandi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are right splitting up can cause problems, even though a lot of families do now a days, but fighting and having an unloving atmosphere is just as bad. All I can suggest is talk it true with your wife and strongly suggest to her, if your both up for it, to talk to professional about this, they will really be able to help you xx good luck x I hope everything works out for the best
2006-12-25 03:16:09 · answer #3 · answered by Hazel_Divine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As I am not familiar with your culture I cannot really offer any suggestions from my experience. However I would suggest maybe speaking to an elder member of your religious group ( if you follow a religion) ; OR do you have other older relatives ( Uncles / Aunts) you could discuss this with. Maybe speak to lawyer who is familiar with your culture to find out what your legal rights are. You could also consider living in separate accommodation to your parents , but still support them & visit them regularly. Yesterday , I was actually talking to a lady who is in a similar situation to your wife , though her mother-in-law does live with her. Her husband is also an only child & does not wish to leave this town because his mother is elderly & in aged care. Even though the move could well be beneficial for him & his wife. Once you marry , your first responsibility should really be to your wife.
2016-05-23 05:42:42 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not know if you believe in God or not- but if you do , use that reason to try- and if you don't- take advise from a grown up who remembers a divorce---that pain will never go away- the feelings of not being loved did thanks to God- but, the advice I give you from experience also is this-- Love her- try to - treat her the way you want her to treat you- even if she is the witch of the west- if you bite your tongue (which by the way is the woman's job- and to be a good wife) and do your best she will have no reason to be ugly towards you- how can you yell at a man who smiles and says " OK, honey, i don't want to fight". just try, please for the child's sake- but if you are going to go at it every night by fighting- that is not healthy for the child either- been there also- you might be amazed at the change that takes place in your marriage- I did..... just try. Don't let satan steal your marriage or your joy- get them back- you loved her once, you can again.
2006-12-25 04:00:32 · answer #5 · answered by drox 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It seems you or she is in some relationship with some one else.
If you are sure get a separation and start living separately.
Your child will adjust to the new conditions faster then you and your wife can do.
If that is not the reason, thing of living together many advisers have said how to live together... work on them and make your and your wife's life happy for ever.
need more counselling contact counsellor at nischai_org@yahoo.co.in
2006-12-25 18:36:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know what's your problem. you have this bad habit of ignoring trouble and gong for the easier way out. it is evident from the way you called your problems "xyz". why dont you want to talk about it? let me tell you igoring them is ot gonna work. if you want to be happy in life then that is possible only if you face your problems and solve it.
why is it the you have stopped loving your wife? or is it that you never ever loved her? was yours an arranged marrieage was it forced upon you? were you not asked if you like the girl? or did some problem start after you lived with your wife and realized that she has some bad habit? are you in love with some one else? does you wife know that you dont like her? i mean i am sure hse can feel it but have you two talked about it openly?
you dont want to talk about your "xyz" problems coz its easier not to. but thats very selfish. your wife might want to talk about it. or may be she is ready it move out of mariage than live with a man who doesnt love her.
its her right to walk out if you cant love and care for her and she should get that option.
be a man now and tel me more about your problem.
2006-12-26 18:58:14 · answer #7 · answered by urfriendfrlife 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just 1 thing.
Life is never Green on the other side.
so, imagine this. u leave her hoping to get a better some one.
but its only a imagination.
u will actually end up getting a worse lady. this is 100% true.
there is no one better than ur wife who exists for u in the world (including all ur relatives also). with this in mind, go home and talk to her.
2006-12-28 19:52:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't have to accept this.
you can change your feelingsto start loving her.
really this can happen.
you can't live a fake life pretending.
you have to really love her.
so get this book "getting the love you want"
and read it and start doing thestuff.
it works. you can love your wife and be happy.
you must try to do it.
one good way to stop fighting is to study
communications techniques such as
marshall rosenberg's nonviolent commuication.
or reflective listening.
you can get the book from the library probably.
it's worth a try...since you are miserable now.
2006-12-25 03:11:03 · answer #9 · answered by Sufi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
take it from someone who went throgh the same thing, you need distance. if you can no longer live with her then you are hurting your child more by staying because you can no longer show affection to your wife. kids are not stupid they pick up on your feelings and they react off of them. sometimes even when it hurts you have to the right thing and end it. your hurting your wife too if you stay so go. sit down and explain to the child if he or she is old enough to undersatnd that just because you go your not going to stop loving them and you will always be there for them. if you stay your feelings will just grow and there will hell to pay later. i have two kids and i had to explain to them to that i just couldn't live with daddy and we needed space. they get over it cause they still get to be with dad whenever they want to. GOOD LUCK i know how hard this is for you. i will pray for you.
2006-12-25 03:25:46 · answer #10 · answered by onyx maiden 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You guys may benefit from marriage counseling. But, a child is not a reason to stay together anymore. Although it would be wonderful if you guys could work things out and remain a family, if you do not love your wife your relationship could actually be detrimental to your child.
2006-12-25 03:09:19 · answer #11 · answered by SchrodingersTigress 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋