Cat sleeps on fiancees chest and makes cuddling hard, what to do?

Question

My fiancee and I have recently moved in together and my fiancee's cat sleeps on her chest at night. This wasn't a big deal when we didn't live together and was kind of cute when we were first a couple. It has really started to grow on me, though as I feel left out and I'm actually jealous of the cat! I feel like a fool, but in just 3 weeks there have already been a number of instances where I have found myself wanting to cuddle with my fiancee, who wouldn't move because the cat was sleeping on her.

What am I to do?? The cat sleeping on the bed is one thing...but I feel like I'm missing out on the love of my fiancee because she gives it to the cat instead. She doesn't want the cat to jump off her chest so she won't move when it's on top of her. And the cat is right in the way of me putting my arm around my fiancee or kissing her cheek. Am I being unreasonable or has anyone else gone through this?

Answer 1

Well this is a really sticky situation....

I have 2 male cats that I have hand fed from 3 weeks old and they think I am their mommy...They sleep on me or around me and my husband has accepted that because I am, in their eyes their mommy...
Cats ,if raised from a very young age will adopt the person who is loving them as their parent..

On the other spectrum, if she feels the mommy nuturing for this cat, you are gonna be hard pressed to get the cat off of her..

The only solution .....

COMPROMISE...If that is possible..

Give the cat her/his time and just accept that but also talk to your Fiance' and see if she will see that you want to spend time with her too...Tell her your feelings...

Also, I am hard pressed to suggest in other answers because well the cat was there 1st..I know that is not the answer that you are gonna like but well its true... Further more, when we find something about the people we love that drives us nuts , we can do 2 things... Either accept it or move on...

When we finally find someone to spend our lives with , its not the things we love about them that we should consider.. Its the things about them that drives us nuts that we should consider..

If you cannot live with that cat being on your fiance' ,Either accept or leave....Its a part of her and it seems she is not going to give that up...

I am so sorry if that sounds harsh .. but I do try to be honest

Answer 2

Wow. First, realize you will NEVER supplant the cat completely. My wife and I each have a cat, and they are individually very possessive of their respective owner - sitting on chest, lap, etc. Having a cat on your lap is actually an accepted excuse in our house to not answer phone, turn off oven timer, find the remote etc etc... "I have this cat, you see....." lol.

See if you can't disrupt the cat subtly, without her noticing.. "Are you shoving Kitty in the butt under the covers?!?" "Um....noooo...."

Here's how we manage on the weekends when we're sleeping in a bit. after cuddling (or whatever you kids are calling it these days lol) I"ll usually get up and get some tea or coffee going, take a shower, etc. Before that I'll grab her a cat that she can snuggle with whilst waiting for turn in the bathroom.

You also may just need to have a serious talk: "Look - I understand how much Kitty means to you, and I realize that you guys will need a certain amount of bonding time. Can you get this in ________ (after I leave for work, before I come to bed, during TV watching time) so that other times I can cuddle?" Make sure she knows that you don't want to get rid of the cat or anything but you just need lovin' too and she needs to be willing to share.

Last thought. When I gave her The Ring she was like, "ooh, cool, wow....nice." Six months later, when I gave her the orange kitten: "Ohhh! Oooooh! Awww.... Yay! Oh, it's the CUTEst! It's the best! I LOVE YOU! yay! awwwl......" so go figure there..... lol

Answer 3

1. Don't be jealous of a cat.
2. Always can push the cat off.
3. Close the door to the room so the cat can't get in.
4. Tell your fiancees to use a lot of perfume. Cats don't like it.
5. If all above don't work then kill the cat. lol

Answer 4

you have to understand that this cat is part of your family now, shes probably slept on her chest for a long time or that habit wouldnt exist, my cat likes to cuddle up next to me, but you need to realize youve come into their lives, your girlfriend needs to realize changes need to be made,so i recommend at night putting the cat outside the room and shutting the door- it will be fine, the first night will be hard though, get a cat bed for it and put it out their, but whatever you do- dont let up- dont let her in, and keep this a regular habit, you must set rules. Your girlfriend must also uphold that rule to to make it work or it will all fall apart.

Answer 5

You need to pet the cat and pretend that you want to cuddle with the cat and then oops it ran off the bed smile and grab her boobs.

If you can not manage the cat good luck in managing the new wife.

Answer 6

Just say excuse me kitty and start kissing her like you would do if the cat weren't there. Believe me the cat will get down there is room enough for all three of you. Just be nice to that cat! Yes my cat slept on top of me and I am telling you the cat will move.

Answer 7

Talk to her. Tell her - and be a man. Show the cat who's boss. After all, a man does have more cuddle rights on his girl than a cat.

Answer 8

ok you both need to give a little, let her get comfy then you get comfy with snuggling with her a the cat will get comfy on both of you no matter how you two snuggle the cat will work it's way in and be just as happy

Answer 9

hehe, she just loves her kitty, and I know that makes it hard to cuddle, will she get mad if you gently push kitty off? you should talk to your girl and just tell her you want to be able to cuddle more, she shouldn't get to mad, but that is her and her kitties special thing....its something you are going to have to work out together and compromise on, maybe the cat can sleep on her chest for a certain amount of time and then it could be your turn hehe :)

Answer 10

Get used to it d00d. You have competition. I'm sure your lady loves both of you. I wouldn't put much stock in the cat. I have two myself. They do get in the way but a simple pat on the butt a couple times should help.