to be the best friend I could ever have, whatever that means. But lately I have been missing him because he has not talked to me. I ve reached out but complete silence. I am still missing him. I know you would tell me to forget about him but it is hard to do. I think I might confuse him a bit because each time I talk about friendship, I do or say something that points rather in the direction of a romantic relationship. It is hard to switch from loving someone to consider him as a friend. What should I do, should I stop trying. I really miss him.
2006-12-25 00:11:04 · 10 answers · asked by lovelyeyes 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you are still interested in having a romantic relationship, then the best thing to do is back off for a while. If it is going to work out between the two of you, he needs some space for a little while. What is happening right now is you are losing something that is important to you and that makes you panic. Guys pick up on this panic (no matter how well you think you are hiding it) and it scares them.
This will not guarantee that you will get back together, but it give you a much better shot. It will also give you the time and space that you need to get over him.
The best thing to do is stay busy--go out with friends, make plans with your family. Don't sit and watch the phone. The first time he calls, let it go to voicemail. Don't call him back until the next day. You need to put yourself in the right frame of mind for that first phone call--you need to prepare yourself that he is just calling to touch base. Otherwise, you will assume he wants to get back together and he will notice.
2006-12-25 00:16:31 · answer #1 · answered by ssc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This could really screw you up inside. It's like being around someone you want more with, and knowing you have to constantly be on your guard to stick with staying in "friend mode". If you cannot simply stick with being friends and it mean sfar more to you than that, you will need to tell him this.
That simple. Let him know that it's very painful for you to try and shift gears into friendship status, when your feelings run further and deeper than this and you are feeling emotionally all over the place.
It is obvious you want it all with him, and I don't know where he stands on this. But I can't tell you to switch your feelings off, you can't do that. You can write him a letter or something and lay it on the line, spill it out and tell him what you don't know how on earth to feel or react with him anymore.
Certainly, one thing is certain. You both need a complete break from eachother for a time. You can't just split up, and keep up some kind of bond that you don't even understand or dont' know what's going on. Break from eachother, even if it hurts and have time out and give yourselves time to know what your feelings really are.
He may not know either. He maybe hanging on to be true friends, because he doesn't want to lose you, yet doesn't want a repeat of the mistakes in your relationship either! He probably feels better calling it friends, so he's telling himself that's all it is (even if he may feel more).
So I would break for a time, not cut him off or out, but let him know that you're still hurting and you don't want to pressure him into anything more than friends, if this is what he wants. tell him you need time to try and come to grips with a few things etc.
That's just my advice, nobody can tell you what to do. Time does heal, and also things become clearer too sometimes. Give him time out as well, he's probably not knowing what hte heck he wants.
2006-12-25 08:23:58 · answer #2 · answered by Gus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a guy downshifts into friendship, it's isn't going back to a romantic relationship. For most women, friendship & sex naturally go hand in hand. But it isn't like that for most men. If we consider someone a friend, that means we don't have any sexual attraction to them any longer. You should move on and be his friend if you can.
2006-12-25 08:19:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to let him go. Distract yourself from whatever reminds you of him and try to be friends. If u were friends during the relationship this will get easier now but if you weren't...you might become his friend..let yourself on the winds wings, cause it's nice to remember but not to much..spend more time with your friends and try to treat your ex like you treat them.Good luck and Merry Christmas!
2006-12-25 08:29:44 · answer #4 · answered by teen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry to say, he is really not looking forward to another relationship with you. Maybe it's not you, it's him, or maybe he just doesn't feel that way (Im surprised, because men always want to come for sexual relationships). There's nothing you or me can do about it. Sorry. The best thing you can do is to move on.
2006-12-25 08:26:04 · answer #5 · answered by yamaryliz94 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you're having a lend of him .
you can't hunt with hound and run with fox .
make up your mind ! if you've got one --- i think you are cruel , the more you read into it all ! good luck ( god knows you'll need it if not now --- then certainly down the track ) .
whatever that means !!
2006-12-25 08:23:25 · answer #6 · answered by bill g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends on ur feelings . do u really love him ? if YES, try to get back on track then . care, gentle, patient and passion .. all those stuff, bring it up. as for me , i will walk away.. my motto is very simple : dun chase the wind .. easy... good luck.
2006-12-25 08:22:34 · answer #7 · answered by steen_012 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find someone else you can have a romantic relationship with.
2006-12-25 08:14:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
its hard to forget someone whom you love very much.......go to a place and mingle with people...it will help.....just move on....
2006-12-25 08:13:59 · answer #9 · answered by gwyn_41 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should stop trying immideately
2006-12-25 08:14:23 · answer #10 · answered by vikram o 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋