I am going through my 2nd divorce. I have met someone that I really care for and like alot. I want to go further with him. I am afraid to tell him about this 2nd marriage. He already know that I had been married once. But not twice. He has never married. He said too shy. I can't sleep wondering if I should tell him about this 2nd divorce. I am afraid to lose him, but I am more afraid of not telling him and having him find out from someone else. Very small town. What do I do?
2006-12-24 22:59:36 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He probably already knows!
2006-12-24 23:17:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I asked my Gramma this one about 30 years ago. She told me that 99% of marriages happen ONLY because the woman insists on it. My own experience confirmed this, but I didn't think about it much until I saw the same thing in John Malloy's book "Why Men Marry Some Women but Not Others". Malloy tells us that where there is a marriage, there is usually a woman insisting "marry me or lose me". Often, when faced with this choice, a man will "panic and bolt", will run off and start dating a dozen other girls or move across the country. Or will just start showing the girl his worst behavior. We all know how much trouble men have with figuring out their own feelings. After the "bolt" some men calm down and realize that they actually DO want to marry this girl. But some are gone for good. It's a chance a girl has to take -- that, or be the unofficial 'wife' of a bachelor. Anyways, I think your guy is in the "bolt" stage. Tell him that you know what YOU want, and that you will give him 6 months to a year to think about what HE wants. But at that time, either there should some sort of serious commitment (and an approximate wedding date like 'within a year of graduation') OR it is time for both of you to start seeing other people.
2016-05-23 05:28:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something to keep in mind for future relationships so they have a chance . . . CLEAR COMMUNICATION AT ALL TIMES. . . that and HONESTY. Treat someone the way YOU would want to be treated. You are willing to keep to a lie (which is not revealing important information) for the sake of keeping a guy ? ! ! ! The reason you can't sleep . . . your conscious is nagging at you...you are choosing not to listen to it. You are willing to wrangle, lie, and haze a hurtful lasso around a man, then once his heart is open to you...that is when you spring the news on him ? ! ! . . . So, there really are people out there like you...and I'm right in front of one now . . . fascinating. ( Grumble ) I still have faith in true hearts and won't become bitter of others in the dating world knowing of those as you. How sad. You are purposefully, intentionally choosing to lie and put this man's heart on the line ? I'm outta here. Heaven help that man...my heart is with him.
2006-12-24 23:11:54 · answer #3 · answered by onelight 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he finds out any other way, he will dump you. It's your choice. Better to know now than later, when things can really get messy. You are making very poor choices and decisions. No wonder you got divorced 2 times.
2006-12-24 23:04:47 · answer #4 · answered by Sax M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My, you are not being honest with him and honesty is part of love, as trust is also. If you think you love him, why do you doubt him? A good laugh is that my sister was married nine or ten times during her life, none of them cared how many times she was married. Without trust, you have nothing.
2006-12-24 23:16:47 · answer #5 · answered by grannywinkie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationship is about speaking the truth and gaining trust. You need to let him know. It would be more painful for him should he finds out later. Its tentamount to cheating! You've been to 2 failed relationships so don't blow this one away. Plug up your courage and speak the trust. Let what can happened happened. If its fate that you both be together than its fate!
2006-12-24 23:03:43 · answer #6 · answered by SingGirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, 2 already? Don't feel bad, my auntie has had 7! But we do call her the black widow! Of course you have to tell him! He should know he will be number 3. It's only polite to let him know where he stands!
2006-12-24 23:13:52 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a small town, don't you think he will find out? Just think about this: would it be better for your relationship if he found out from someone else?
2006-12-24 23:03:01 · answer #8 · answered by Isis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a real good chance he knows already but is just waiting for you to feel comfortable about telling him.
Good luck.
2006-12-24 23:13:31 · answer #9 · answered by kevin_4508 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to tell him. He will be hurt if he hears it from someone else and you always have that hanging over you.
2006-12-24 23:03:54 · answer #10 · answered by chris99 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋