Help any pro chefs in da house????

Question

Ok so here it is we have a 10lb 8oz turkey breast and could any1 pls give advice on how not to f**** it up lol merry xmas to every1

Answer 1

Although sage is the herb most used with turkey, I love the flavor and aroma of fresh bay (laurel) leaves. Fresh bay leaves are now widely available in supermarkets. Since the leaves are a bit woody, and no fun to eat, I baste my turkey with bay-infused butter and roast the breasts right on top of the leaves, which perfumes the meat.


1 small (golf-ball sized) onion, peeled and coarsely chopped
1 lemon, scrubbed clean
12 fresh sage leaves
Large handful fresh flat-leaf parsley (about 1/2 cup, from 12 stems)
3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, plus more for oiling pan
1 teaspoon salt, plus more as needed
6 fresh bay leaves
4 tablespoons butter
2 boneless turkey breast halves, skin on (about 2 to 2 1/2 pounds each)
Freshly ground black pepper
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1/4 cup apple or regular brandy (recommended: Calvados)
2 to 3 cups apple cider
Salt and pepper

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F. Oil a roasting pan and set it aside.
Put the onion into the bowl of a mini food processor. Using a vegetable peeler, peel the zest from the lemon in thin strips, being careful not to cut into the bitter white pith. Add the lemon zest to the food processor and reserve the whole lemon for another use. Chop the onion and lemon zest until fine. Add the sage, parsley, olive oil, and 1 teaspoon salt and pulse until it forms a coarse paste.

Put 2 of the bay leaves and the butter into a small pan and heat over medium-low heat until the butter is bubbling. Remove from the heat and set aside.

Put the turkey breasts on a work surface. Carefully run your fingers between the skin and the flesh from 1 end, being careful not to pull it completely off, creating a pocket. Season the turkey breasts generously with salt and pepper. Stuff half of the herb paste under the skin of each breast, and spread it evenly under the skin. Transfer the breasts to the roasting pan, and slide 2 bay leaves underneath each one. (The heat of the pan will release the bay leaf oils and flavor the breast.) Using a pastry brush, baste the breasts with half of the bay butter. Place the turkey in the oven and immediately decrease the temperature to 400 degrees F. After 20 minutes, baste the turkey breasts with the remaining butter, and roast for an additional 20 to 25 minutes, until cooked through, and a thermometer placed in the thickest part of the breast registers 170 degrees F.

Remove from the oven, transfer to a platter, cover, and let rest for 10 minutes before carving while you make the gravy.

Put the roasting pan over the burner on medium heat. Sprinkle the flour over the pan juices, and cook, stirring, for a few minutes. Add the apple brandy, and scrape the pan to lift the bits that are stuck to the bottom. Cook for a minute to burn off the alcohol, then, while stirring, pour in the apple cider. Bring to a simmer, and stir until thickened. Season with salt and pepper.

Slice the turkey breast on the diagonal, and serve with warm gravy.


Standard Methods for Cooking a Turkey

Standard cooking time for turkey under 16 pounds--15 minutes per pound

Standard cooking time for turkey over 16 pounds--12 minutes per pound

For a moist turkey, baste every 15-20 minutes with drippings or basting sauces.

If using a meat thermometer, insert it in the center of the thigh muscle, not touching the bone.


Conventional Oven-Open Pan
Cook turkey, breast up on flat rack in shallow pan at 325°. Baste every 15-20 minutes.
This is a dry-heat method which is the easiest method for cooking a turkey.
The turkey turns out golden brown with a rich roasted flavor.

Conventional Oven-High Heat
Place a well-basted turkey in a shallow pan with the breast up. Cook at 450° for 30 minutes. Then turn oven down to 350° and continue to cook.
This produces an evenly browned turkey that is juicy and moist.

Conventional Oven-Covered Pan
Cook turkey, breast up, in covered dark enamel pan in 325° oven.
With this method the cooking time is shortened, but the turkey becomes less attractive in appearance than with the open pan method. It does not have a roasted flavor either.

Conventional Oven-Cooking Bag
Place the turkey, breast up, in a floured plastic cooking bag in a shallow open pan. Close the bag loosely and make slits in the top of the bag. Cook at 350°.
The cooking cooks in the drippings in the bag. Although this is easy to clean up the turkey is not nicely browned and has little roasted flavor.

Conventional Oven-Foil-Wrapped
Place the unstuffed turkey, breast up, on a sheet of foil. Wrap loosely and cook in a shallow pan at 450°.
This moist-heat cooking method reduces the time, but the turkey may cook unevenly. Be sure to check the final temperature of the breast and thigh. This can only be used with an unstuffed turkey.

Microwave
Cook the unstuffed turkey, breast down, on high for 4 minutes per pound. Then cook, breast up, at 50% power for 8 minutes per pound.
This cooking method cooks a turkey in about half the time, but you have to make sure you use a browning sauce for even color.

Answer 2

ply your guests with cheap wine to get them sloshed so they don't notice
remember to remove the turkey giblets from inside otherwise the turkey will stink
Plys your guests with more booze
Throw the turkey in the oven
More booze
Eventually put the turkey on the table by which time your guets will be too sloshed to notice what they are eating. They will, however, remember a fabulous time and will go around all year telling everyone what a wonderful host you are.