i grew up with an abusive brother and a relative. i am now in my 20s and plan to kick them out of my life as one of them is still abusive. both have scarred me emotionally and i just cant bring myself to forgive them because of the pain they've brought in my life. .when someone is in an abusive relationship they get out, but in my situation they are someone i am related with. is it wrong for me to cut ties with these people.?
2006-12-24 20:35:24 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Nope.
2006-12-24 20:37:13 · answer #1 · answered by Ohay 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
NO, it is not wrong to cut ties. In fact, go ahead and do it. At this point in your life, you need to worry about yourself-mentally, physically, and emotionally. If a person is abusing you, get out of the situation. Don't keep a relationship with an abusive person because it only encourages the abuser to keep abusing you, especially if it is a family member, because they take advantage of the fact that you will feel obligated to take the abuse for the sake of "family".Don't feel obligated, and move on. Try to keep a relationship with other, healthy family members, if possible. Take Care!
2006-12-25 08:05:55 · answer #2 · answered by iloveeeyore 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Too often the people who cause us the most pain are family members. No, it is not wrong to cut these people out of your life, if that is what you need and want to do. You say you are in your 20's now, it is unhealthy for you to subject yourself to abuse any longer, being abused you have probably been stripped of any feeling of self worth, but it is time to take a stand and realize that you have value as a person.. This is a hard decision, and one that other family members who did not suffer the abuse may not understand, but one that you should not have any guilt about. Someday, you may decide to let them back into your life, but on YOUR terms. Good luck to you.
2006-12-25 04:44:54 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not wrong. It would be wrong NOT to cut them out. I'm 20 so close to the same age and I have done the same. I don't need any abusive people in my life, I have had a hard enough life the way it is, I dont' want to keep it that way.
2006-12-25 04:45:33 · answer #4 · answered by Hot Mom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because you were young when this abuse started, these 2 people took advantage of you. Since that time, they could have made changes in their lives to end the abuse against you. I personally feel that if things have not changed, you don't have any reason to keep this person around, family or not.
I have had to cut ties with relatives who continuously hurt me, and now, my life is better w/o them in it.
2006-12-25 04:44:48 · answer #5 · answered by Honey27 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No! The sooner the better, family or not, no one has the right to abuse another person. For your own protection and sanity kick them to the curb!!!!!! It probably won't be easy, but how much more can you take without it ruining the rest of your life? Good Luck, and God Bless.
2006-12-25 06:09:33 · answer #6 · answered by ball_courtney 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No if someone is hurting you or someone you care about then you need to boot them out of your life. Toxic people are just that toxic. You do need to try and learn to forgive them in the long run it will make you feel better. Been there done that got the tee shirt. kid.
2006-12-25 04:38:52 · answer #7 · answered by Belinda 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The only way, we can ever 'overcome' an abusive family is by transcending it and not by avoid it.
Transcending means that we have been able to learn all our life lesson through and from them and have reached a neutral ground, where their presence or absence doesn't disturbs our inner peace or bliss, cutting ties before that can happen; but by doing so we would be missing the whole point of choosing to be born in an abusive family, which is first to become aware of our inner strength and learn to stand up for our self and our voice and also to learn to be compassionate as we have ourselves experience the results of lack of compassion through real life experience as a soul.
This understanding comes when we realize that we chose this particular family out of millions available to us as a soul only because it fitted so perfectly to the life lessons we needed to learn as a soul.
Our family is under a soul contract to teach us certain life lessons and skills that would aid us in our future journey as a soul and also in our future relationships which would be now better, healthier and more compassionate, only because we have chosen them to be so.
Thereafter you may even choose to ignore them if need be or stay in touch compassionate as you know why they are behaving so hurtfully - because they haven't been able to understand their pain and hurts as you have. We hurt others only when we have been hurt ourselves. If you can understand who taught them to hurt you’d also know that you can be a big help to them if you simply make them aware of the result of their action and that you are no longer willing to give their hurtful actions any space in your life, be it emotional or spiritual.
Notice when you reach a neutral ground with them that would be a clear sign that you have managed to heal all your wounds with them and have transcended them. At that moment they would automatically drift away as you'd no longer need to hang around them as a soul, also because they would be replaced by happier and healthier souls. You are the magnet and when you change all your relationships follow.
This crucial life lesson comes most clearly through our early and primary relationships which include our parents, sibling and close friends, who know the exact buttons that can be pressed in us to hurt us. Once learnt it would make sure that all our future relationships would be safe and healthy and no doubt easier.
As souls we are under contract to learn and teach that to and from each other. The gift of empowerment is to learn to stand up for ourselves without hurting others, compassionately and assertively and yet being completely calm and centered in who we are.
This is the gift of our family, no matter what kind.
2006-12-25 06:02:11 · answer #8 · answered by Abhishek Joshi 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, it isn't. Abuse is all to common in families I'm afraid and in your case the only solution is to get away from the abuser.
If you haven't gotten therapy yet, do it. It will do you a world of good.
2006-12-25 04:59:45 · answer #9 · answered by Voodoid 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just because someone is related to you does not mean they get to stay in your life.
These people hurt you and have not stoped. YOU NEED TO GET THE OUT OF YOUR LIFE!! NOW!!!
2006-12-25 04:42:26 · answer #10 · answered by LadyCatherine 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
no not at all, especially if they refuse to acknowledge what they did to u, it is actually healthy to do that. i cut ties with my ex, and his entire family due to the pain they caused me, and i wouldn't even think of speaking to any of them again. cut ties and never look back.
2006-12-25 09:26:48 · answer #11 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋