Should i let her know of my preferences or not?

Question

I have a thing about female feet and dominant women. My gf is pretty selfish, and we have had quite many fights over that. After lots of effort on my behalf, i have managed to bring a balance in the relationship, which i wouldnt want to destroy, taking into account weve been together for only a month and were trying to make the whole thing work. Im afraid if i tell her about my preferences i will blow everything up. But id love to find a "safe"way to tell her....what should i do?

Answer 1

I'm sure you don't have your shoes on all the time you're together. Next time you see her barefoot, tell her how pretty her feet are and how they turn you on. See where it goes from there.

As far as liking dominant women, it sounds as if you have the start on this one with her if she's selfish and demanding already. Maybe you can offer to have certain days (and nights!) when you'll be totally submissive. That should satisfy her urge to have her way and yours to be dominated.

If she's cooperative with these two things for you, you might want to give her an opportunity to discuss what things turn her on and be open to trying them as well.

Good luck to you both and I hope you enjoy your voyage of discovery.

Answer 2

If the feet and domination thing is so important to you, you should have tried to find this out before you started anything serious with her...but now that you're into it anyway, your only option is to think up a subtle way of letting her know. As for the feet i don't see that posing much problem [any woman would appreciate kisses & massages on their feet]. The domination aspect might, because not all women are dominant in nature, but a bit of role playing now & then should be OK, espacially if she values what you two have got going. What ever be the case, don't try to force anything on her. Goodluck.

Answer 3

Time is on your side. Some people find out things about their partner they don't like after 10 years of marriage. Not to say your girl will not like what you've got going on. But in the worst case scenario if she's thinks you're terrible for it, it was only a month. But who's to say that will happen?

But you gots to get it out sooner or later. Otherwise you've got this secret that wants to get out. That's never good. Life is about the truth of things, not secrets.

So get this communicated gradually, especially if you think this will be a shocker to her. Gradual is the key.

You know her, you'll have to figure out the details of how to go about it. But here are some ideas. When you're playing around, joke with her to boss you around or something. Tell her she has nice feet. Then at a later time, when it's appropriate (i.e. during play or sex play), say it again or from a different approach like "beat me baby" or whatever. Again, you have to figure out the actual words or things to do, my examples are just so lame and cheezy.

Observe how she reacts and if she's okay with it, do a little more and with a bit more intensity to it. Maybe do it some more right then and there or wait until the next convenient time.

If she balks at it, it will occur safely for you and her. If you break out and rip her shoes off and starts licking and humping her feet or something, she'll probably freak. Neither safe or comfortable for either of you. But maybe if when you casually tell her you she has nice feet, she says "Are you one of those feet guys?" jokingly yet a bit repulsed, you'll essentially have your answer and will be again be safe because you can joke it away and she won't know a thing.

But whatever, it's all about being gradual and not pushing something onto someone so fast that they can't handle it comfortably. And if it doesn't work out between you, you can use this with other girls too.

Answer 4

"fighting" is not an ideal relationship, and "selfish" is not the same thing as dominant. I'd say move on without telling her.

Answer 5

Experiment with your girl man. some people have a thing for porn, or doing it in front of a camera. ask her what she thinks about it. if she doesnt like it, there are plenty more women that would love to dominate.

Answer 6

before you tell her, find a way to bring up the topic in a general way, not really speaking of them as your particular preferences and see what she says about it. then go from there, you will probably get her reaction and then go from there.

Answer 7

Wait a bit! You don't want to scare her off, specially if your relationship is weak, as you say.

Wait for real love to develop... once she loves you, she will be more willing to do anything for you.

Answer 8

You will have to tell her sooner or later/ If everything blows up, so be it. If she wants to be with you, she will make things work.

Answer 9

why would you want to be in a relationship where you have to tip toe around your gf? is it really worth it if youve only been togther for a month

Answer 10

telll her of your preferences. if she is not into it it might be best to find someone who is willing to do the things you like.

Believe me, they are out there.