How can I deal with overprotective parents and dating?

Question

I'm a 16 , almost 17, year old girl and my parents won't let me have a boyfriend or go out for that matter. They tell me to concentrate in school and to go to college, which I will do. I have above average grades, and I also do have a boyfriend that I haven't talked to them about yet...And I really love him. I've been together with him and my grades are still good, if not better. He knows about my parents and he respects me for me. I want it to work out between us, but I don't know how to compromise with my parents about this. They're overprotective of me and don't let me out very often. They don't want me near guys either, and if I'm going to a party or out I can only hang out with girls. I'm not sure how I can compormise with them. Help?

Answer 1

Their only doing this because they love you so much.... I to am a very protective mother of a 17 year old daughter, I do let her go out with people boys and girls but I have meant their families and I now just the type of people they are....... and then I check up on them during there get togethers, We worry over, who is driving, who else is going, and where their at, It only takes one person to destroy what we love the most and that's our children, I also have a 20 yr old son that I had to go pick-up at a friends house because he couldn't drive home because he was drinking, I am very thankful that he still had the sense to call me and get him, and i would do it again in a heart beat. I don't really know what to say that would convince them to give you a little more freedom, other then to talk with them and ask them to trust you to make the right choices, but please remember their only trying to protect you because they love you so much........god bless, I hope that this helped you, and maybe open the lines of communication.........

Answer 2

Liz is right, you need to be open with them or their trust in you is shot, not only for this but possibly other future situations. Do your parents have an age were they will allow you to date, most do? I'm a 45 yr old male with 7 nieces and have heard all this before. Have you tried telling your mom & dad exactly what you have written here? You want to build a relationship with your parents where you can talk to them about anything, then problems like these and future problems(there will be more :)) will be solved much easier. Your Daddy's girl it's tough on him I'll bet, don't grow up so fast. Sorry if I sound like some old fart....but I am:). Talk to them try to come up with a compromise, keep the lines of communication open. Believe it or not they only have your best interest at heart, as hard as that may be to believe right now.

Answer 3

Parents And Dating

Answer 4

honestly, just keep on what you're doing. At that age, you should be able to tell what works and what doesn't. Clearly having a boyfriend doesn't interfere with your grades, or any thing else. If you're parents cannot realize that (not to be mean) you are responsible enough then just leave them out of the equation. You're 16 and almost 17 you said, so you should be driving or soon to be driving. Maybe that will open up new freedom rules from your parents or maybe not. I'm trying to give an unbiased view and not trying to sound like your friend or parent. What I think, is that you should just continue what you're doing, but just keep it casual with your boyfriend

Answer 5

You know this guy, and you know he's a "keeper"... then there is nothing to be ashamed of- ask if he can come over to do homework together (assuming you have a class together) that's school related and you can play the whole "he can help me because i don't know how to do it..." thing. Then once you've finished he can linger and hang out after- knowing overprotective parents they probably won't be too far away or out of the room so they'll be grilling him left and right, and since you know he's a great guy he'll do just fine. Your parents will see he is a good guy and be comfortable with him hanging out around the house. Soon that will turn into running errands for the family and eventually into going out WITH THEIR PERMISSION. ah.. hope this helps.

Answer 6

I'm having the same problem! I'm 14, almost 15, and my mom said I can't date until I'm 16. I thinks that its really dumb, b/c I have guy friends, and a huge crush on this guy and I know for a fact he likes me back. I've just stayed quiet, and brought up the subject a few times. We're at this part that I think I should go to prom if I get invited, but my mom says since freshmen can only get in if they are with a junior or senior she would call it a date. It would REALLY suck if a guy askes me to the prom, and I can't go! How am I supposed to sneak a PROM?

Not really help, but just telling you your not alone. I'll stay here for a sec. and revaiw your other answers.

Answer 7

I wouldn't rush into tell them about him. Finish with high school, and if he's still by your side, then announce the relationship to your parents. Show them that you were able to keep in mind the importance of your education. Also that you are trustworthy to be responsible around the opposite sex and not rush into a sexual relationship and risk ruining your life or changing all your plans due to an accidental pregnancy or such.

I assure you, those are your parents' top worries.

Answer 8

Sneaking around will only loose your parents trust and respect for you. I suggest you bring it up in a conversation, because the longer you go behind their back's the more angry they will be with you when they find out. Plus if you really love your boyfriend and want it to go somewhere, then your going to have to let your parents know sooner rather than later.

Answer 9

They are trying to help you secure your future. They think if you get involved with a boy you might end up getting pregnant or married and pregnant and wont get your degree. Even if you had a good marriage things could fall apart, like if he got killed and you didnt have a good education you wouldnt be able to get a decent job to support you and your kids. They are just placing great importance on your ability to fend for yourself in life if the need should arise.
No matter what happens realize how much they love you and want whats best for you.

Answer 10

I'm a mother of a 24 yr old girl and it is very hard for me to relate to your parents thinking. I'm sorry for that. I disagree with them totally. My thought is that they do not want to let go of you, or what that intends also is not wanting to let you groe up. I'm very proud of you that you have good grades, and not really disapointed that you have a boy friend(since you parents say no) Loving him is a good thing but at your age (and I know You Don't want to hear this or read this) " there are going to be alot more bf's in your life), but the more you have the more will know what you want in a man when it comes time to get married. If I were you I would bring him home after school one day or if you have to getpermission ask first but after school to study, and meet the folks, hang out at your house with him (not in your bedroom) he seems to be OK scince he is respecting of your parents rules. He I think would have no problem hanging at your house(only with your parents presence and or knowledge (of course) but maybe after awhile they will learn that you have good judgement of your male friend(s) and they will grow up themselves and try to realize that you have to have relationships of the opposit sex as you mature and THAT YOU ARE MATURING Take it slow with the parents don't get them to not trust you, as a parent it is hard to gain trust towards your child because it is TOTAL NATURE to protect at all times, we hate to see a scratch on you bodies. Be honest, polite, and it seems that you are being respectful, keep up the respect towards your parents forever beleive it or not they are usually on your side. Some parents forget what it was like when they were young. fortunatly for me I Don't Best Wishes & Happy Holiday to YOU

Sorry no spell check