I have been in my current relationship for a little over 2 years now. We're going to get married once I finish school. I've grown quite close with my inlaws. My son has a different father, but is treated as if he was born into this family. My problem is that my son's father is giving me a hard time about my son calling my fiance's parents grandma and grandpa. This would be the only grandfather that he has because 1 is dead and the other is non existent. He does NOT call my fiance dad. I'm curious what you think? I think it's ok. I don't mind if my son picks up extra grandparents in his life, as long as I'm never replaced. if you think it's ok... any words of advice for defense to cool things down on that side? His mom seems to be quite offended by all this. (she often speaks for her son through his son... squawking in the background when I'm on the phone trying to converse with him... ya she's one of those)
2006-12-24 17:42:52 · 18 answers · asked by born2bfree 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Just to let you know, my son probably told his father that he wanted to go to grandma and grandpa's house. And the only grandma grandpa combo are my in laws.
2006-12-24 17:54:25 · update #1
Tell your ex that a child can never have too much love and if the older people in question don't mind being called grandma and grandpa then he shouldn't mind it either. Remind him that those terms are also terms of respect for older people. Being a grandmother myself I have a lot of grandchildren who are not really my grandchildren. They are children in the neighborhood who I have grown especially fond of for a variety of reasons. Some I babysit for on a regular basis others are the friends of my grandchildren. Many of these children call me grandma and they also give me hugs and discuss their problems with me. It is a great honor to have these children think enough of me to call me by this name.
2006-12-24 18:16:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of my good friends was in this situation. As long as the biological father is not being replace, what harm is there in calling someone else a grandparent? The new g-parents are obviously loving and want this child as their own, so I personally don't see what the big deal is. Even if your son had bioligical g-parents, who is to say that another set can't love him as much?
It isn't the same thing as replacing a father. Kids are meant to have more than one set of grand-parents, personally, I think you, your fiancee, and your ex should be happy that so many people love your son.
2006-12-24 17:51:22 · answer #2 · answered by 123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with your son calling your fiance's parents his grandparents. Your ex, and his mother, need to grow up! Let him know that they will be his grandparents, and that's just the way it is! He'll either get over it, or he won't. Sounds like he's just jealous, and there's truly nothing you can do about his issues. You're doing the right thing for your son, so just keep up the great work! Merry Christmas!
2006-12-25 00:24:58 · answer #3 · answered by grandm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a wonderful thing to have many people in a child's life to help him grow and learn to love and respect others.
Yes, I think if is perfectly OK for him to call them grandpa and grandma.
I'm in my 30's and a few older people that I work with I call grandma and grandpa, its a term of effection.
I use to call my grandfather dad.
2006-12-24 17:52:25 · answer #4 · answered by LadyCatherine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Truthfully it is none of your sons Fathers business. He is trying to be controlling when it is not called for. Sounds also like your sons father is quite insecure that he may like them better than his parents. He needs to grow up, mind his own business and stay out of you and your sons business. Nothing wrong with your son calling them grandma and grandpa. Keep your x husband out of your current life. He does not belong in it to where he thinks he can voice opinions on anothers parents. Keep your life and what you do out of your sons fathers view. He has no cause to interfere like that so put a stop to it now. Otherwise you will have bigger problems with him down the road.
2006-12-24 17:52:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes Yes Yes it is perfectly OK for your son to call these people Grandma and Grandpa!
We can all have several 'grandparents' and in many cultures children address all elders with that title
The more people in a child's family and community to love him/her the better. Too many people are petty about it I dont know why...
...because you dont divide love...you multiply it!!!
2006-12-24 18:02:55 · answer #6 · answered by paradox is interesting 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go with what makes your son comfortable. Grandparents are people who love and cherish the child, whether related by blood or not. If your son is lucky enough to have a wide variety of people to support him, you and he should feel blessed.
2006-12-24 17:48:48 · answer #7 · answered by Lilly Jones-Fair 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is okay as long as it your son's idea. Your new husband to be must be a good dad to him and his parents must also treat your son good for him to want to call them his grandparents. It isn't about your ex's feelings, it is about your son and what is best for him.
2006-12-24 18:12:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's wonderful, and your son is very lucky to have that bond with your soon to be in-laws! Your sons father should be thankful that his child has people that love him. I mean think of the alternative!
2006-12-24 22:48:08 · answer #9 · answered by ball_courtney 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as your fiance parents are okay with it, it's fine. When I was a child I grew up calling my grandpa Jones's wife Marian grandma Jones, his former wife who was my real maternal grandma was called Grandma Casper because of her second marriage and then there was my paternal grandma and she was called Grandma Hoffmann.
2006-12-24 17:48:47 · answer #10 · answered by Laela (Layla) 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋