First of i want to say i love my girlfriend & we've been together for 3 years & lately I've been wondering if shes the right person for me.
This is my first serious relationship and I'm not sure if my expectations are justified(A relationship to me is where two people try to work with each other & help each other progress & accomplish each others goals.) but i don't feel like shes meeting them & this leaves me feeling unfulfilled & empty.In the past 3 years i have matured some & I've starting to notice things about her that maybe should have been noticed.Things like
Her immature ways(I'm 20,shes 18),laziness,clinginess to-wards me,the fact that nobody in my family likes her,possessiveness,& the fact that she don't have a drive to do anything to better herself or her life just to name a few negative traits of hers.So how can i find out what i should do.
2006-12-24 17:37:00 · 17 answers · asked by Slim504 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well i talked to my girlfriend and told her how i feel & at first she was very upset but once she cooled down we had a pretty decent conversation about what i had just told her & about our relationship.
I still have my doubts if anything will happen but i guess i have to wait and see.
2006-12-25 04:10:53 · update #1
i think that if you are asking this question, then you are seriously considering ending things with her. if her bad traits outweigh the good, maybe it's time to move on. if you guys were meant to be together, then you will end up together again. it's happened to lots of people. you sound like a good guy, and i would hate for you to marry her in the future, then realize what's wrong. not saying that you are thinking marriage, but...
do you know why your family dislikes her? what do they see in her that you might not? not all serious relationships have to go on and on. she is still technically a teenager, while you are moving towards adulthood. some relationships are great in the beginning, but then they lose certain aspects. does she know how you feel? i think that you need to talk to her before you make any decisions. good luck.
2006-12-24 17:39:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Wow, you have definitely matured! :) At this stage, it is still too early to say whether she is the right girl for you or not. Did you try to tell her first about all these concerns that you have? Maybe she doesn't even know or have a clue that all these things are starting to bother you. You need to try and talk to her first. Be upfront and direct with her. Say something like: "We have known each other for a considerate amount of time, and this is the time to do our relationship inventory. I love you, but I also have some concerns that I believe need to be cleared out first if we both want to stay happy in this relationship. I am really concerned with the facts that you are not setting up goals for yourself, that you are lazy, clingy and possessive, my family seems to not like you, and you are not putting enough of efforts to mature and better yourself. I love you, but all those things starting to make me really unhappy in our relationship. Is there anything you are going to do about it??? " And see what she says, and most importantly, what she is going to do. If my man, who I love very much, would say to me something like that, I first would apologize for being so blind to his needs and causing any unhappiness to him, and then I would promise I will try to improve and say exactly how I am going to do it. I would turn the mountains over, just to make sure all his concerns are taken care of. I would also thank him for being so open with me and for letting me know all the things that are bothering him. Otherwise, I would have no way of knowing that.
Talk to her first, and let her know exactly what you are not happy with in your relationship. And then see what happens. If she still fails to improve, then she is not in love with you and she is not right for you. If, on the other hand, she will at least try to do everything to make YOU happy, then she is a girl to keep.
Good Luck to you!
2006-12-25 02:23:16 · answer #2 · answered by OC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im 20 going on 21 and my husband is 24. its this simple. (you will know for sure when its right) and in my "opinion" it seems like she isn't the right one for you because you are doubting it and can point out everything that is bothering you about her. if i was in your situation i would leave. i knew my husband was the right one very soon into the relationship because he was willing to stick anything out with me and he was never possessive. you should do what feels right. maybe you need to take a break to see if you want to be with out her. do what is best for you. but i would say its time to move on. your only 20 there will be other girls. i went through a few serious relationships.(2) before my husband. believe you'll know when its right.
2006-12-25 01:45:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You pretty much answered your own question ... whether you realize it or not. Sounds like it's time to move on. One of the reasons it's best not to make serious commitments (like marriage/children) until later in life (25-30).
If you are asking yourself this question, then the answer is, she is probably not a good match for you. The whole key in relationships is finding a good match .. and you seem to have a solid idea of what a relationship is all about.
Good job!
2006-12-25 01:39:59 · answer #4 · answered by Pichi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in the same situation.
It doesn't really matter if your family or friends like her - only matters if she makes you happy or not. If you decide to go long term with her, your family and friends will grow fond of her.
She sounds kind of immature to me, and if shes selfish and mean as well (you know wether she is or not) then I think you should cut loose and run - your still young and you dont owe her anything.
2006-12-25 01:41:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
One thing you might try is to lower you standards in a way that she isnt failing to accomplish goals or that she doesnt seem like she's acting to clingly or immature. Dont change who you are and what you want out of life just try and think of a way to make your goals easier to reach
2006-12-25 01:47:55 · answer #6 · answered by big_willey_13 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only time will tell, if you do not feel you could marry her and life a happy sucessful life, then she's probably not the one for you. You have to find someone who will go out in life and help provide for their family, if that's what you are wanting.
2006-12-25 01:40:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Proof: If she were the right one you would not be asking this.
She's not right for you, but someone out there is. Keep searching. Good luck and stay positive :-)
2006-12-25 02:33:26 · answer #8 · answered by Will97 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust your 'gut' and your family. She is definitely not right for you. She needs to grow up and/or find a 'sugar daddy' if she is that lazy.
Good luck.
2006-12-25 01:39:18 · answer #9 · answered by Johnny Q. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have already answered yourself. You are in doubt about your G/F. If in doubt,get out. All yours friends can't be wrong.
2006-12-25 01:42:08 · answer #10 · answered by ringwood_ray 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋