I was casually sleeping with a man for over a year. After 3 months of seeing each other sexually, "I love you's" began to come out of his mouth. In a year's time, I told him I wanted something more serious with him. He of course, did not. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? He claimed then that he only said I love you b/c it turned him on. It was at that point a few weeks later that I discovered I was pregnant with my first and only. He immedietly upon telling him, wanted me to get an abortion compliments of his money. I couldn't go through with it. He said he would not want to have any part of this childs life. He then proceeded to move 2000 miles away. Now that I am 8 months pregnant, he has decided he wants to be a part of our future daughters life. He doesn't want to be romantically involved with me though, although he says he cares about me and the life inside of me. Is it feasible to expect him to change his mind about "us" since he did so with the baby?
2006-12-24 16:27:10 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
When a man says he cares about you, it means one of two things:
1) He cares about you.
2) He thinks he needs to say that to get you into bed, or keep you there.
While you're more of an expert on this situation than I am -- I don't know either of you, after all -- from what you've told me it doesn't seem like having a serious relationship with this guy is a good idea for you. He used you before, and (barring a major change of attitude) will likely use you again if given the chance.
However, it is a good idea to let him be part of his child's life... especially if he pays child support. It is better for the emotional health of the child to know who her father is, and knowing her family medical history is a must. If he's willing to have contact with her and is a good father, so much the better. One caveat; no father at all is better than a bad one. You have spent enough time with him to recogize any signs of a potential abuser, while we advisors on the Internet have not. The judgment of whether or not he would be a good father is entirely yours (and the court's, if you decide to go there) to make.
2006-12-24 16:37:06 · answer #1 · answered by D'archangel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say this. Leave the guy as I believe he will not be a good father or husband. If he is responsible, he won't ask you to go for abortion in the first place. But now he have a change in his mind but there must be a reason behind it which he didn't tell you. So just leave him and i believe you can be strong enough to face the problem.
2006-12-24 19:08:13 · answer #2 · answered by Forgettable 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry to hear the bad decisions two adults made will now affect an innocent child.
I do not think he will come around to want a serious relationship with you, but you should not deny your daughter a relationship with her bio dad, even though he seems like a real jerk to you.
2006-12-24 16:33:59 · answer #3 · answered by ♥♥ Nikki ♥♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This guy sounds like a Piece of Shi*, and is only coming back now to try and avoid you nailing him with child support...
As I always say,
"If you want to play the game, don't cry when you get caught stealin'"
2006-12-24 16:32:47 · answer #4 · answered by matter2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋