moved in with girlfriend and she freaked out because it was too soon.?

Question

My girlfriend and I recently moved into an apartment together and she has had some relationship issues in the past which she warned me about when we first started dating. Both of us agreed that because we got along so well and we are very good for each other that this was a good step to take. Now that we're in the same apartment (co-signed on a 1 year lease), she has said that she is freaked out and doesnt' know what to do. She loves having me around and loves me but says that things are different now and she has trouble giving 100% into our relationship because she is overwhelmed by it all.

I don't feel like I was lied to or used and we did this together. Both of us want the relationship to work but I'm worried the best way for us to stay together is for us to be apart for some time. She cannot move out but can't afford to take the lease on herself. Another roommate is out because it's a 1 bedroom place. I don't think I can deal with paying my half and not be there. Help!

Not really helpful to hear about how we should have thought about this beforehand. We did, thought it would be good, and now she's having a hard time of it. She can not move out as she has nowhere to go. I could always move in with my parents for a while in my old place above their garage. No I'm not the Fonz either if that's what you're thinking.

We can't just leave because of the one year lease. It was a big commitment which we thought about before we moved in together. Now it just isn't working out.

Answer 1

Can't she move out? She is the one who was for it and has since changed her mind.

Answer 2

About the relationships she had in the past... it is someones decision to live on the negativity that might of happened in the past. You can either pick up the peices of your life and move forward or give up in defeat. Should concentrate on the present time, and your feelings at that moment.. not have them alterered by something that happened in the past.

I can understand why she can be overwhelmed. For one, its a new place, living with someone she hasnt lived with before, maybe she is worried that things might not go as planned? I dont like jumping to conclusions, but its always good to ask questions, and try to understand the situation as best as you can before making any moves. Try to confort her and make her feel like she is right where she belongs :-)

I do agree with you when you said to give each other space. People desire other people that give them space. Just have to rsepect that... but maybe it will just take some time getting used to.. living with each other!

Answer 3

see these r things that should be seriously consider before jumpin to conclusions. u did not mention how long u 2 were goin out for. there is nothing much to do now, but to seek some form of consoling. u don't just up and move in with someone b/c u thing u 2 r right for each other. there r serious consequences to be consider before all this take place. i really do hope u 2 work this issue out. good luck.

Answer 4

I can see your predicament. You should have paid more attention when she said she had "issues" with previous relationships. It would only be fair that she moves out if she wants to. The change of living rules should not come at your expense. That simple. You can sleep in two different beds if that makes things more convenient for her.

Answer 5

Give the landlady a notice, and both move out. She should have listened and trusted her feelings before she moved in, and you should have known that she is who she is and isn't going to change.

Answer 6

get a futon. a pull out couch-bed....its your place as much as it is hers. if she is overwhelmed by your presence, then make your presence scarce. go out...dont be around so much.