How do you combat the loneliness of being single and pregnant?

Question

I'm 22 & pregnant for the first time & I never knew it could be so lonely.
I know it's for the best that the father of my unborn child isn't in our lives, but I still get so lonely & wish he'd get his act together. I have the ultrasound appt scheduled for next month to find out what I'm having & it was so important to me for him to be there but he's not. Just thinking of when I'll be having the baby makes me break down & cry because although I know this is for the best, part of me longs for him to be there. I had been with him since I was 15. He's the only guy I've ever been with. He really screwed me over when i got pregnant. He recently began dating someone else & doesn't even talk to me. The one & only time he did, he threatened me & called me a c*nt 30 times. He was never like this before. He's like a different person.

So to all you amazingly strong mothers out there who did it yourselves, how did you fight the loneliness? I'll be eternally grateful to anyone that can help me.

Answer 1

I am a married mother so I can not relate to what you are saying, but I can imagine. So I hope my advice will help...

Lean on your friends and family. My best girlfriend is like a sister to me (I only have one brother), and she was just as much a part of my pregnancy and birth as my husband was. How does your family feel about the pregnancy? Do you live close to them? Do you live at home? Would you be opposed to moving back home with them if they let you? That may be an option. Your parents (assuming they are still around), should want to best for you. Bring your mom to an ultra sound appointment. She will love it. My husband could not get out of work for one of my ultra sounds, and I brought my mom.. I think it made her month to be able to see her first grandchild! (especially since ultra sounds were not available when I was being born (I am 34).

And you are right, to cut this guy out of your life. The hard part will be sticking to your decision. Keep in mind what is best for your baby. And some guy calling his baby's mom a C*nt, and threatening her is not a person you want around your kid.

It is hard with 2 parents, let alone 1, but it can be done! It is done everyday by thousands of woman. You were strong enough to realize he is no good, you are strong enough to handle this.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Pregnancy Loneliness

Answer 3

I wasn't alone when I was pregnant, but I raised my kids alone, from the time they were 4 & 7. They were my life, but I was very lonely. I can't imagine being alone pregnant, but just look forward to the wonderful times you will have with your baby. It is a joy that is uncomprehendable until it happens.

Your ex doesn't sound like he deserves to have you in his life. Don't be hurt because he doesn't want you and has moved on. He doesn't sound responsible enough to be a parent, and you don't need two kids to raise.

Every time someone in my family offered to take the kids, I jumped at the chance. You aren't a bad parent, but you need time for yourself.

Also, get involved with other mothers. Maybe have play dates for the kids. You'll find a lot of good people in a church group. If you start looking for women in the same situation as you, you will be shocked at how many you will find. Good luck.

Answer 4

i'm no longer a single mom, and that i do no longer want that upon absolutely everyone, however on occasion, such as you mentioned, that's for the ideal, or in different situations, there's no selection. My cousin has raised her son on my own, and replaced into on my own whilst she have been given pregnant, because of the fact her boyfriend replaced right into a scumbag to place it gently, and went around with different females. He has never considered his son. And it replaced into for the ideal. She did an outstanding activity. he's the main well mannered, appropriate behaved youthful guy I easily have ever time-honored. that's an extremely no longer ordinary activity, yet with a bit of luck you have the help of acquaintances and family individuals, to be there and to help. you are able to desire to be reliable, for your self and on your toddler, and you gets there. attempt to no longer seem back and sweetness "what if", if he's appearing like this now, he will no longer basically turn around, and say ok i'm waiting. And if by utilising twist of fate he does, you are able to desire to stand up for your self, and say no you had your possibility. you are able to take him for newborn help, my cousin did no longer, yet that could in all probability assist you. reliable success, and that i want the main suitable for you and your toddler. And whilst your down, basically bear in suggestions, some obtainable have it lots worse than you do!

Answer 5

I too am in this situation. I am 28 and pregnant by a man that I was involved with since I was 15. Everything was amazing...Until I told him I was pregnant. I am now 26 weeks pregnant & having a BOY!!! I have gone through the last 6 months completely alone. It has been one of the hardest things to do in my life. I have good days, days I block everything out, & days where I just loose it all together & let it all out. I havnt spoken to my son's father in over 5 months & I'm not sure if I ever will again(except in court). I totally know & feel eveything you are going through & believe me it's not easy by any means. In time maybe it will be somewhat easier, but it will never be forgotten. I try to just plan on my goals & asparations for my unborn son & everyday thank God that someday SOON, I will be holding him in my arms so I can tell him just how much I love him. Of course I will always hope & want for mu son's father to know him & be part of his life, but for now I need to focus on my likfe & love for my baby!!! Keep your head up & we will get through this...MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Answer 6

I was about your age when my husband left me alone pregnant. I know about the lonely nights and hopelessness. It makes things worse that your emotions are all over the place. I used to cry so hard I thought for sure I would lose my baby.

I can only tell you my story but it's your life and you can get best advice in the world and still make your own decisions.

I went home to live with my folks and leaned heavily on them. They were my anchors. I also rededicated my life to God and decided to start living the way HE intended and not how I wanted to live. Once I did that, things fell into place. I started moving up in my job, I felt hope, joy, peace, the whole gammit.

There's nothing in the world like living for God. He can take our failures and mistakes and turn them totally around. It's amazing!

In my case, He blessed me in my career, blessed me with people around me to help me financially, and finally....after 13 years of praying fervently, brought me a husband that adores me and worships the ground I walk on. I never thought I'd ever meet anyone that loved me so much. But that's how God works. He gives the BEST to His children.

Get involved in a Bible-believing church and maybe even volunteer in their nursery. You'll be amazed at the quality of people you meet and the support and love you'll receive.

You need unconditional love, God's love. Lean on Him..He'll help you.

Blessings,

Answer 7

hang out with your friends... they can keep you from being lonely. trust i'm in a similar situation...but instead the father of my baby is confused about wanting to be with me. another bad thing through this thing is that i lost my best friend so i really have no one close to talk to....but as the days went by i started talking with my co-workers and they've been supportive and helpful if i needed anything. you can write in a journal to get all your lonely feelings out...its helped me to get out the frustrations of being around a person that confused about what he wants. another thing you could try is reading to your belly helps with baby's development. if you don't have anyone to talk to i'd be willing to talk with you on yahoo messenger my name is tcb_2002 or tikiza18. because i had no one to talk to and all that build up can make a you feel horrible when you shouldn't be....
you shouldn't be with someone that doesn't care about your well being at this point in your life because they also don't care for the health of their unborn child.
being a single parent is hard but can be done. I was in my 3rd year in college and i gained custody of my infant neice...i graduated on time and my niece is two and still living with me and we have been doing great.
I'm sure you are a beautiful person and there are guys out there that would love to be a father to your child so don't loose hope with finding the right man for you

Answer 8

to be honest I wasn't too lonely. I have my family and my mum and I are close. You are better off without him. Focus on your baby and the fact you are doing the best thing for him/her. Find a support group for single mums so you can be around those in similar circumstances

Answer 9

Well, I was married while I was pregnant, but it was just like being alone. He ended up cheating on me while I was pregnant.

So, I honetsly just kept busy, to keep my mind off of being alone. I talked to friends alot, and my sister was there to keep me company, sometime's. I baby sat alot for her and other friends as well. Also I found a few hobbies(puzzels).
When I would catch myself thinking about being alone I would pretty much fight with myself to try and move past it and pray alot.

Your emotion's will swell out of proportion and keep you depressed if you let it. I'm not saying I didn't cry myself to sleep at night sometime's, but when I did finally have the baby we where like white on rice. I never went anywhere she couldn't go (except work) and a few of my friends pretty much abandoned me, but I met a wonderful guy who took myself and the baby under his wing. He loves both of us very much.

It was hard for me at time's especially after everything that happened with my marriage, But I didn't give up. I couldn't, knowing I had someone their who was couting on me to survive.

I am sorry that your baby's father will not have anything to do with you, or the baby, my ex wouldn't either until he met someone who made him have somthing to do with her. Your baby's father is acting very childish about the whole situation. Also, he can try and push you away all he want's but as long as the baby is alive he will always be in both your lives. Also, there's a thing called childsupport that catches up with a useless fathers after a while.
But, he could just be really freaked out about the situation in general. Baby's= growing up, being commited and responsible. He might not have been ready for that, and he's taking it out on you. In my opinion that is typical of some men.I wouldn't try to force him to do anything, because it will only make him push you away more.

Congart's on the baby, may you have a healthy beautiful little baby. And, good luck on everything, if so many other women can do it so can you. Keep your head up. =)

Answer 10

im sorry youre baby's daddy is a c*nt. hes also a coward and not worth a 1/2 cent. just keep thinking about when that beautiful child is born. i know that thinking about his dad not being there makes you sad, but honestly, if hes going to act the way he is... do you want him to be in your child life? he would probably only do what my bf did to his first son... hurt him so many times. (it took a lot of life changing experiences to change him, nothing i did) and now the kid doesnt even want anythin to do wiht him, nor does he like being around him at the holidays. whats going on now, may in fact save your child years of hurt and disappointment down the line. although the kid will want to know and ask, be honest. but you can f ind another man to be this kids daddy. a man that will take care of both you and your kid. that will treat your kid as though he/she were their own. asfar as the lonliness happening right now, call up an old Gf, bet you havent done that in while.. and go hang out. go flirt with guys at the mall. emerse yourself in work, or volunteer... do things that will take your mind ooff whats happening. if you can sleep at night, talk to your doctor, they may be able to prescribe something or suggest a natural herbal remedy that is safe for the baby. you will make it through this...and hell the guy may surprise you and come around. he may just be going through hs own shjock over you being pregnant. hopefully you ddint do it to "trap" him or nothing. that would only make t worse. oh god im writing a book. messege me if you would like to talk sometime.