Do I have a right to be annoyed?

Question

My bf and I already exchanged Christmas gifts, but since he hasn't written in the card he purchased for me (today... procrastinator, we decided we'll just give the cards tomorrow). The thing is, I put a lot of thought into cards when I get them for someone. I know I shouldn't have snooped, but the card he bought me at CVS tonight was on the table (without any message from him in it). The thing is, the card is VERY generic like he didn't even care what one he got and to top it off, it's the SAME card he purchased for his SISTER. He doesn't know that I know it's the same one because the card he gave his sister was in a sack in the car (before he wrote in it and sent it off). His Christmas card doesn't even say that "I love you" stuff in it and mine is sappy, so now I feel like an idiot even getting a card with meaning. Do I have a right to even be annoyed or upset about this? If he cared for me, you'd think he'd put more effort into the cards he picks out for me.

To the comment about the cards in bulk:

If you had READ my question, you would have read that he purchased the card TONIGHT at CVS and thus, it was not a BULK purchase. Please read before replying. Thank you.

Answer 1

I feel your pain, there are a lot of reasons to be mad at a boyfriend who likes to recieve and gives too little. I would only reciprocate what he's done for you. DON"T give him the card until he coughs up his, with an explaination for his lax behavior. Sorry to say this will probably never change. My husbad was ALWAYS like this before, and we've now been married for 1 year. He drove twenty mioles from our house to get a "gift certificate" to a clothing store. We share a bank account. that's the same kind of un-invoved crap you speak of. Just get out now if you expect more than he can give becasue someone will give it to you. M-hmmm!

Answer 2

Some guys are just like that, they just don't seem to think things like cards and such matter. Its really not the important thing in a relationship that he either will or won't sign love in the cards he gives you. Whats important is how he tells you he loves you without ever saying a word.

Opening the door for you even after being together for years, NEVER leaving the house without kissing you goodbye (mine kisses me even if he's just going across the street to visit friends or out to the garage to work on his car:-), blinking his lights after leaving to tell you he knows you're standing at the door watching him leave, walking beside you and reaching out to touch you to make sure you are still close, or to hold your hand, the way he walks up behind you and hugs you "just because", or every now and then he just does something really spontaneous and out of character to show you how he feels.

I would (and do) take these things over a card anytime....

Merry Christmas!!

Answer 3

Unfortunately, to quote Eddie Murphy, "you brought this s**t on yourself".

You admitted you went snooping and as the old adage says, "don't ask the question if you do not want to know the answer". You are expecting a certain standard from your boyfriend and now, without his knowing, you have gone behind his back. What is he to do now as you have inadvertently put him into a position that may have unnecessary fallout for you both. You have automatically assumed he may not care for you and that is sad. I am not suggesting this card purchase is all okay by your standards, but perhaps from him this is fine. And remember, his intent is coming from a good place.

I sincerely hope you enjoy your Christmas Day together.

Answer 4

Hello =)

Personally....

As a Guy, I despise Greeting Cards. I wish they were never invented. I think that women set themselves up to be disappointed by men over them.

We usually think of them as an "afterthought", and don't usually remember them until the last minute, if at all. By the time we do think of them, all the decent ones are picked out. We usually lack the creativity to make one that doesn't look like a kindergarten project, so we go with whatever we find still available on the drugstore card shelf, which are usually Generic pieces of trash.

It isn't that we don't have the feelings to express in a card, we just fail at the whole "buying prewritten sentiments that match how we feel" thing.....

Perhaps, you should say to him....."Gee hon, your card really sucks, why not write me a little note, telling me how you really feel".....and hand him a piece of paper and a pen, and I'm sure he'll out-do your pre-printed sentiments.....

Namaste, and Happy Holidays,

--Tom

Answer 5

You said that he hasn't written in it yet. Calm down. I got a card for my Husband. It was pretty generic, but I wrote some very heartfelt words in it. You never know...he may write something nice inside and then you will feel pretty silly.

If he just writes I love you, then you might say something then about getting the same card as his sister. But don't get angry or fussy until the end results are in.

Answer 6

Maybe HE should be annoyed that his gf is a snoop. Seriously, I would let it slide. Some people don't think of Christmas as so much of a romance holiday. Wait and see what he does on Valentine's day before you get hurt feelings. So, how did he do on the gift?

Answer 7

I've never known a man that was good at purchasing greeting cards...males just don't do "mushy" as well as we women do. I wouldn't take it so personally. He at least did buy you a card...so you know he was thinking of you.

Merry Christmas

Answer 8

yea i would be too. but you need to remember that guys express their feelings in odd ways from my past experiences. just because he didn't spend his time picking out the right card and saying the right thing doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't love you. it all depends though. and if it really bugs you ask him about it and be open. even if it is awkward you guys might just laugh at it after wards

Answer 9

Some men are not good a expressing themselves. They tend to show you more that write int down. Let him give you the card. Try to tell him in a nice way, " Would you please write me a message or poem in this card".

Answer 10

It's a card. He probably bought them in bulk. What are you going to do if something traumatic really does happen?