I met with this guy and we are getting alone very well. There is a very good connection at intellectual and emotional level. However, I am having problems getting intimate with him cuz he is overweight to the point that he can qualify as an obese. I've never dated with an overweight guy before, so I am afraid if I sleep with him it is going to ruin everything. Hence, what's the point of keep dating with him and give hope? Anyways, what should I do? Should I break up with him? If yes, How should I break up? Should I try to talk to him about the issue?
2006-12-24 15:25:27 · 13 answers · asked by Confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You don't have to tell him why, but feeling the way you do, I'd say just move on. You would be doing him a far greater kindness that way, than if you were to take the relationship to the next level, knowing that his obesity repulses you.
Besides this, there is a very real and practical reason for you to move on. Why would you date and have an intimate relationshiip with somebody unless marriage might be a possibility? Obesity in a person who obviously has no control over his eating, can lead to some very serious health problems in later years. That is a fact. Why would you want to think of committing yourself to a man with whom you would probably have children, and then at some point his health breaks down, he's constantly sick, can't work, and you end up with an invalid on your hands as you try to raise your kids?
People can feel sorry and sympathetic for a fat person all day long. But what does it tell you about that person? It tells ME that he is not taking his health seriously, and he cannot or will not control his bad eating habits. Nobody can claim to be ignorant of the consequences these days because it is all over the news all the time about the serious risks of uncontrolled obesity.
I don't doubt that eventually your guy will find some woman who doesn't care about these issues either, and they can get together and what happens will be their business. Just don't allow yourself to BE that woman. Things come at you in life out of left field, that you couldn't have anticipated. There isn't anything you can do about that except deal with it best way you can. B UT, when you become aware of something you could be headed for, the smart thing to do is make a swift change of direction, and don't just keep walking towards that situation with eyes wide shut.
2006-12-25 01:15:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
it's all a state of mind. Different people like different things when it comes to sexual attraction. Some people actually have a fat fetish and look for obese people!
You either need to get over it and know that who he is inside is more important.... or let him down easy and move on so he can too.
BTW.... how old is he? Maybe 50ish???? If he is... give him my e-mail addy: newbiegranny@yahoo.ca I'd love a guy who is intelligent and has a good personality.
For the record..... I've done pretty.... and pretty can be very ugly inside.
Sue
2006-12-24 15:30:41 · answer #2 · answered by newbiegranny 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweets, definantly DO NOT bring up the issue with him! That will just hurt his feelings. Maybe you are rushing into sex too soon. If you truley love him, then the weight shouldn't be that big of an issue. I'm sure you will be able to look past it. Just give it some time.
2006-12-24 15:28:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself this question, Do you love him? If you do then it shouldnt matter what size he is. Love goes beyond all things even physical qualities and most importantly there are many way you can be intimate with someone. Try some and find one that works for you.
2006-12-24 15:34:07 · answer #4 · answered by poeticsoul127 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, my husband use to be a tooth pick, and now he gained weight and has a belly and a double chin, but it's on the inside that counts, he's handsome to me, I don't care about the outside a lot. He hit me inside and I knew this man was the right person for me. Sex is a major part of a relationship, if you can't do it, be his friend
2006-12-24 15:28:25 · answer #5 · answered by fourcheeks4 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grow up and stop being so shallow. It sounds like you think he is a good guy.
The only problem with his obesity and intimacy between the two of you will be in your head.
2006-12-24 15:29:08 · answer #6 · answered by Lisa A 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is no reason to breakup. Start taking him on long walks. Help him watch what he eats. Joke and tell him if you're going to be my man we got to get you into shape. He may appreciate it. He may make a great mate for you.
2006-12-24 15:31:18 · answer #7 · answered by Jacks036 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He'll need to be on his back or sitting up against a wall if you guys are going to sleep together. You should give him a try, maybe he's good in bed!!
2006-12-24 15:37:06 · answer #8 · answered by Athenart 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Stick a straw in his bellybutton and slurp out the fat until he is your desired weight. Then make out.
2006-12-24 15:27:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
He may try and lose weight being with you, so try and do more active things!!
2006-12-24 15:27:52 · answer #10 · answered by mustanglady 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋