Is "Friends with Benefits" an insult to you ?

Question

A guy who tells everyone that he wants to find the right woman and get married sooner than latter has just devastated me.
I have told him that Im looking for dating, ultimately settling down and not for casual carnal flings.
We've never even slept together and have only been on three dates.
Apparently he doesnt consider me girlfriend/wife material because he actually had the nerve to IM me and ask if I'd consider being friend benefits and he's "Blank me" when I needed it.

Im so stunned & livid that I dont know how to react !

At no time did I tell him Im the kind of girl who'd like that, particularly since I already was starting to care for him and like him very deeply.
And it stings a lot because he already told me other people how he wants to get married start family with a great girl.
Do I just ignore him for good or tell him how much that bothered me ?
Am I overreacting ?

omg - speak of the devil.
now he just called and left a voicemail on christmas eve.
asked if im busy right now.
yeah guess he wants a midnight bootycall.
amazing since i told him repeatedly that im very traditional & slow to get physical with any guy. He must have zero listening comprehension skills.

Oh and also he knows my mom had a bad heart attack a week ago and Im already stressed and vulnerable
..Pretty evil of him , no ?

Answer 1

what nerve! I would be insulted in a major way. he's obviously a real jerk, and it's best that you found it out sooner than later. and you are not overreactiong. even though he insulted you, he's insulted himself more by being such a sleaze. I'm really proud of you for the way you handled it though. It's not the right thing to do, but I think I would have went to his house and punched him. If you really feel like saying something to him, just tell him that you'd like to know what ever gave him the idea that you'd want to be friends with benefits. and let him know that since you're now aware of how he perceives you, there's no reason for him to waste another minute of your time. totally ignore him from that point on.
I'm truly sorry this happened to you, but you should not feel bad because you have done nothing wrong. he's the one who should feel bad for behaving like a first class horses behind! he's nasty.
I wish you the best. and just remember, all guys are not like this one.
I hope you have a Merry Christmas

Answer 2

No way are you overreacting. He's being a jerk. His actions showed you that he wanted something else... that he didn't want just a f** buddy and now he says this? At least you haven't taken it further than just a few dates, so hopefully you're heart is not wrapped up in it. What a jerk. I'm livid now too, at the bad behavior he's exhibiting. And how would you have known? He seemed to be acting like a good guy, taking you out and not forcing himself on you... and now this. Man, what a baby, what a jerk.

Answer 3

Was he just kidding? I hate email flirting because you can never tell the way someone is saying something.

If he was serious I'd be angry and I'd confront him the next time you see him in person. Do not say anything in an IM.
Ask him what he meant, and if he was just kidding.
If he says he was serious tell him that you are not interested in that kind of relationship and you do not appreciate the way in which he approached you in the IM, saying he "BLANK YOU" when needed.
Wow how crude.

Answer 4

Tell this Guy where to go!! he doesn't think u are that great girl for him to be married to, but he will go to bed with u, NO WAY will i let him use me like that, who does he think he is God Gift to women, ignore him because if u are not the right woman for him then surely u are for some other man!!

Answer 5

YES! I would be insulted. It would scream "I don't like you enough to even date you (much less be in a serious relationship with you), but I'm just so horny, undisciplined, and selfish that I'll settle for you until someone better comes along!" Nevermind all the time you'll waste on it that you could be using to find someone worth it. FWB is not a good arrangement for anyone. Good night! Merry Christmas!

Answer 6

Tell him how you feel. It sounds like he's playing you. You've only been on three dates. Be thankful you weren't tied up in a serious relationship yet. I know it hurts because of what he said. But consider the source it came from. Chalk it up as a loss and move on.

Answer 7

It IS an insult, and you have EVERY right to be unbelievably offended! Obviously, he's told you you're not a "great girl" to him, and he only sees you as a play thing this entire time. Now, he likes the way you look, but that's about all. Tell him how you feel about it, and forget him. You have every right to even SLAP his face! I encourage it!

Answer 8

Obviously his view of your relationship is a lot different than yours. I wouldn't let it go any further until you tell him how you feel, not only about the relationship, but tell him about how what HE said affected you.

If he really doesn't want a serious relationship with you, move on!

Sometimes these things work themselves out, but in this case you need to talk to him about everything ASAP.

Good Luck!

Answer 9

Don't get so angry.
At least he was honest with you.
And some girls think that a relationship like that is just fine.

It all depends on what feels right to you.
Go ahead and tell him how it made you feel, but don't be mad.

Like I stated, at least he was honest.

Answer 10

that is really mean of him. I think if you want to settle down then you shouldnt waste your time with scum that wants a wife and a family yet wants you as a friend with benefits, do you want to be with someone like that the rest of your life? i sure wouldnt, best of luck to you.