I want him back__but at least as a friend...if nothing else =[?

Question

Intro_
i (19) was seeing AP (19) since 22nd Nov
infatuated

5th Dec 2006_
was a great day
he shows me he has feelings for me
(i could just tell by the way he held me)
was meant to go out with him in the evening
fell out with AP
spoke to him at night

6th_
didn't speak to him all day
he called me whilst drunk at club
but i was asleep

7th_
no contact with me
J called AP after a month

J = old high school crush, who he's had 1 year phone relationship with
she can make him laugh and smile like no other
he's had GFs only when he doesn't speak to her
(weird relationship, not even dating!)

8th_
AP ignored me when he saw me

9th_
AP ended it because of J
that would have been the equivalent of dumping me if we were dating...
i was very upset and depressed
kept thinking about him and couldnt concentrate

13th_
i recovered from my minor depression

14th_
went to bar with friends, AP came along with his friends
AP spoke to me, told me J stood him up on 13th
he seemed to get overfriendly with me
holding my waist and complimenting me
i was being a ***** and annoyed by these mixed signals
i asked for was a drink, he asked what he'd get in return
almost like he was flirting with me
i said nothing and that i wanted nothing from him
he left but texted me later saying he was upset/confused with my attitude

18th_
AP kissed me...?!?!?!?!?
told me he fell out with J
and will never speak to her again
with me being me, i thought he'd be back with me
got my hopes up and was very pleased with myself

19th_
didn't speak to him all day
was thinking AP needed his space
that he was still confused
and if i moved too fast he'd go away again
rang him for an hour at night
i was very optimistic

20th_
saw him, greeted but didn't speak much
because he was with his friends
was meant to go out with him in evening
but he went home an hour before...
saying he was tired
i was ok because again, i thought he needed time
J called him again saying sorry

21st_
AP told me, J and him will just be friends
i asked if he was going to see me during Xmas
AP says no
and that he still likes J very much
but couldn't date her because it's complicated
and she 'can't see him and things like that'
he still likes me too but trying to stop
i was extremely annoyed and upset
AP "dumped" me again

22nd_
i gave him 12 texts of all my feelings
i went out shopping and was happy
AP called me at night and put me on 3 way call
so that J could speak to me but she didn't say anything
i got annoyed and started to hate him

23rd_
no contact
i went out and enjoyed myself

24th_
i missed him alot
but wanted to be his friend
spent Xmas eve alone
knowing AP was alone too

25th_
i called AP by accident at 1am (honestly)
pressed redial and rang his number by mistake
because similar number to my friends
spoke to him, was surprised he even called back
when i put the phone down in shock that he picked up
AP told me it was my fault that J is being distant
because he told her everything about me and she got annoyed
when i never told him to tell her
then blamed me for starting our relationship the previous month
and that he regret it ever happened
AP put the phone down when i admitted i never meant to call him
30 minutes later i called him to say sorry
AP tells me he doesn't want to speak to me
and is pissed off

End_
now i am sorta upset
i still like him
i miss his hugs and kisses (that's all we did)
but i want to be his friend at least
i know he likes J alot but i wished it was me
he is annoyed because I rang him
whilst he is trying to forget me
and that because J fell out with him
'because of me'

is there anything i can do?

Answer 1

i fell asleep reading this

Answer 2

Gave up reading at the 6th - dump him - he is a abusive manipulative asshole - get a grip on yourself and get a life you can enjoy. Being single is far preferable to taking that kind of abuse.

Even a total grunt deserves better than the way he treats you. Go out and find a decnt person - they are out there

Answer 3

Kimee, I think this guy is playing with your feelings, it seems you are waiting around for him, just relax, if he doesn't ring you, don't ring him, it seems he wants to know you when it suits him. Give him some breathing space, if you are meant to be together or just be friends it will happen. When you meet him be polite, but free your mind, don't keep dwelling on it, remember you don't want to be hurt again, you still have feelings for this guy, he has moved on, i have been there, it is not easy, but remember Kimee, enjoy your life don't keep on hold just because of him. Just ask yourself is he thinking about you like the way you are about him, it won't be worth it, if he feels you have moved on, he might see you in a different way, be strong, and enjoy your Christmas

Answer 4

Short version AP is getting just what he thinks he wants which is two people 'fighting' over him. Ultimately you'll both wise up to the fact that he really seems to care about know one but himself and is probably enjoying this game and smirking about it behind your backs with his mates.

Answer 5

Golden rule - don't chase after blokes because you'll scare them off. He just wants to have fun and will tell you what he thinks you want to hear, he's living for the moment and sex is probably an underlying factor in this situation but you are too naieve to see it.

Answer 6

He's the one sending mixed ssignals. But it sounds like he only wants you because he can't have her. He also trying to blame is break up with J on you. He's not very mature to say the least, and manipulative at the worst.

Answer 7

can't read most of what you've written (not your fault, i have a self-diagnosed case of ADD) but he doesn't seem like he's into you. that's his loss. guys and girls can NOT be friends. if you want him as a friend, than eventually you'll want to become romantically involved. i say find a new dude that pays more attention to you.

Answer 8

No you have to let go move on you are only hurting yourself. You should go out with your friends it a new year make a fresh start.

Answer 9

He doesn't love you or respect you - just wants something there in case J doesn't work.

And you're most likely slowing down something that could actually make him happy.

Answer 10

so, find someone else that will want you, why would you want to be with someone that treats you like that anyway, tell him to come back and see you when he`s a real man not a huffy little boy

Answer 11

When he matures to treat you properly then see him again if you want to.
Otherwise Bin him! and move on.