How can I get over my 9 yr. relationship?

Question

I know this is how many questions are asked on here but I really don't know what to do in my case. I've been with my boyfriend since we were 16. I'm 25 and he's 24..we've moved in together and I just recently moved out. He told me now that he needs to "grow" and to be independent for a while. So basically he needs to find himself. I interpret that as he wants to see other people and that he wants to see what else is out there and then he'll come back to me. That's not fair to me and I thought we had such a deep connection and he knows me so well and I feel so comfortable with him. I feel like I will never feel like that with another guy. I feel betrayed and I feel like I wasted my time and years of my life. The hardest part is that its around the holidays and I really miss him and I really want him back. I've been getting sick lately and I can't stop thinking about him no matter how much I try to keep myself busy. I wish I knew how to cope with the anger,sadness & frustration.

Answer 1

Are you both are having a time out or break up now?
If its a time-out, just relax. Now you have time as well to think about what you want& whether he is the one & he deserve you.
If you both break up already..give your self time to move on. Its not easy to get over someone,especially if you were so much in love and been together for so long.
But..as you spend time more w ur supportive friends and family, goes for new hobbies/activities/clubs, you will think of him less and less. Then one day..boom! you meet someone so wonderful and lovely, & ur ex is suddenly sooo behind you!!! If this guy break up w u for the reson of: need to grow up: he does. He is not the one for you, let him grow up as much as he wants and you move on...
All the best

Answer 2

It's normal to feel what you are feeling - like you'll never meet someone like this, like you wasted your time, like you want him back.

Unfortunately, it sounds like this thing is over, and it would be best if you moved on. That means staying busy, getting involved in activities, and getting out. It may mean meeting other men, even if those men are just "rebound" people. For some people, this works to take their mind off of it. For others, it won't work.

It wasn't a waste of your time. You learned how to be in a relationship, and those skills will help you in your future relationships. You learned what you want and need from a partner, and that is invaluable information in assessing your next potential partner.

No relationship is perfect. Moving past the frustration and sadness probably will involve focusing on those aspects of the relationship that didn't work so great. There had to be some, since nobody's relationship is good all the time. Focus on those things. Think about what it will take for you to be a better partner. Don't think about what the ex is doing or if he is meeting new people - that is engaging in fantasy, because you don't know WHAT he is doing, so it doesn't really matter. Focus on taking care of yourself.

Stay reality-based. That means not engaging in thinking that involves what he is doing, how he is feeling. The reality is that it is over, and your life is now important to focus on.

Get plenty of exercise and eat right and get plenty of sleep. IT's important right now to take care of your health as well as your emotions. Good luck.

Answer 3

I know how you feel but let time pass and learn to accept that hes not in your life right now. Right now you have to focus on your self and try to not let things get to you.I just gotin out of an 9 year relationship and it does hurt at first. But the thing is I still see her every weekend just to see my son.I try to make it as fast as possible for her to drop him off and have her leave just so that I can be with my son. Yea It kind of hurts to see her and wounder what see has been doing all this time.But that's none of my business now. I feel kind of awkward being alone but some times you have no choice. I know after all that time you tend to forget who you are and that's how I felt. You have to stop thinking only that one person is going to make you happy because life is nothing but loses.Just take it day by day things will fall into place. Cher up girl your not the only one good luck.

Answer 4

i imagine women human beings hit a level the position there is "no factor". the same female friend for 9 years? i do not realize why you does not are transforming into married yet. 9 years is lengthy sufficient to carry close no matter if she is the guy for you. possibly she is drained of waiting round so that you may make a dedication....the courting isn't going everywhere, so why would she proceed to attempt? i do not understand some thing about you adult males yet my wager is that that is her difficulty. You ask her what's incorrect yet what's she meant to say "you received't marry me". No. maximum women human beings choose households, possibly she is pushing you away so it would not damage so undesirable at the same time as she realizes that it should not be with you.

Answer 5

To me it sounds like he's questioning his relationship with you. Yeah he'll probably see others and yes he may come back to you but then again he may not. I"m not saying this to hurt you but to make you understand that's how it sometimes goes. You could try to talk to him and try working thru this but then again you don't want him to feel sorry for you and stay with you if he's not sure this is what he wants. But talking never hurts. good luck to you. ;o)

Answer 6

Well if i were you i would talk about it with him. Or just, i dont know, keep your self as busy as possible.

Answer 7

You don't get over him, you just learn to live without him.

Answer 8

God was my answer, and although it was pretty damn painful, he helped me out of the crisis!

Answer 9

pray to God to help you with your feeling...he's the only one who can sooth your heart right know.

Answer 10

a help group