1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can and quickly. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an "eggnog-aholic" or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas.
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand-alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello???
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position your self near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple, pumpkin and mincemeat -- have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all costs. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips. Start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.
Remember this motto to live by:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body. But rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO what a ride!"
HAPPY HOLIDAYS ! !
2006-12-24 13:27:08 · 12 answers · asked by RAW DIVA™ 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
The last lines make it all worthwhile. Funny
2006-12-24 14:31:56 · answer #1 · answered by Commander 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
nicely, have you ever provided all your delivers yet? If no longer, bypass finding out to purchase lol i like finding out to purchase and getting excited to paintings out your friends expressions on an identical time as they open your dazzling delivers will shop your thoughts off of your guy or woman. Spend time to think of of roughly each and each contemporary and placed some attempt into it. additionally, concentration on your college paintings till finally wreck, and do christmassy themes. Bake cookies decorate your tree, each ingredient you ought to probable think of of. Watch some christmas video clips on an identical time as your bored too. Christmas is funn yet you may celebrate with the days till finally now in elementary terms as a lot!! bypass to the videos along with your friends and carry close out. via skill of the time your achieved with easily each ingredient you're able to do, Christmas could be appropriate here!!! YAY lol
2016-10-18 23:13:49 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was losing interest...until I read the motto. Nice one. Still laughing
2006-12-24 13:33:42 · answer #3 · answered by Taylor29 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
liked the motto
2006-12-24 16:26:05 · answer #4 · answered by Shelia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hum Bug I say Hum Bug.
2006-12-24 14:29:33 · answer #5 · answered by papabeartex 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DIDN'T LIKE THE TIPS, BUT LOVED THE MOTTO
2006-12-24 14:46:05 · answer #6 · answered by PUERTO RICAN CHICK 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LMAO@the matto...
that sounds like something i would say, totally....
2006-12-24 14:54:57 · answer #7 · answered by Aaliyah Morales 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
veryyyy funnyyyyyyyyyy
2006-12-25 21:55:29 · answer #8 · answered by Sonu G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats what ive been doing !!..
haha thats pretty much true
2006-12-24 15:26:01 · answer #9 · answered by Guitr Playrrr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that was cute
2006-12-24 13:31:12 · answer #10 · answered by chuckysnew 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋