This is supposed to be the hoiday season but I'm so worried. My fiance is coming to see my family and they despise him because he's Italian-American, and treat him rudely. When he came to dinner for Thanksgiving out of all of my 15 guests who were in my family, no one would speak to him or serve the food...I was so ashamed and stunned. I never knew they would do something like that and I didn't think that marrying an Italian person was a big deal theses days but in my traditional WASP family it's like I'm doing something awful. My whole family keeps calling my fiance slurs DIRECTLY and acting like he's another species, which is weird because my mom and oldest sister listens to people like Madonna and that Stefani chick, watch Sopranosyet they suddenly can't stand Italians. I know it's stupid to think that if a person listens to an artists they like that racial group but I'm grasping at straws. I hope my family will come around but if they don't what should I do?
2006-12-24 13:26:08 · 10 answers · asked by Debby Jane 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are free to see anyone you want and you dont have to have approval from your family. It would be nice if they did approve, but, the don't. I dated and lived with a beautiful girl that was not my race. My family completely freaked out and I lost several friends because they just didnt want to be seen with us. I loved her and watched all these people dissappearing from my life. She and I later stopped living together and now she is gone from my life. I have no regrets. I dont live to please other people...family or otherwise. Enjoy your freedom of choice and if your family is going to be mean to your Italian bf, then tell them it makes you sad but you will not share the Holidays with them.
2006-12-24 13:33:06 · answer #1 · answered by BudLt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have no excuse to be jobless. You sound as bad and as dumb as my ex. There are jobs everywhere, you just have to open up your eyes to see them. Stop being pious and that will solve a lot. Cockfighting costs money, and I'm sure the money that you're wasting on animal cruelty is the same money you got, probably by force, from your poor wife. No wonder she left you. Your wife deserves that child. Not you. She is the one with the maternal instinct, she's the one who's been putting food on the table for that child, and let's face it, children need their mothers more than their fathers because mothers add that warm element to any home... at least most do. Needless to say, you sound like a very unfit parent. You ARE WRONG in MANY things. Shame on you!
2016-05-23 04:51:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Debby Jane,
Family is more important than anything or anyone in my opinion. Maybe you could do your family a favor and marry someone white rather than this Italian guy that's running them up the wall. Your family seems pretty strict and outspoken like mine. I know it sounds awful, but deep down marrying someone Italian is too much for your family to handle. Think of your family....just a suggestion sweetie. I hope I don't seem to harsh.
2006-12-24 17:16:59 · answer #3 · answered by AndreaAndrea 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Debby Jane, you've got a tough situation. You can't change people, but you can sit down with them and explain the problem. Tell your Mom and Dad how much you're being hurt by this. Ask them what they anticipate doing when grandchildren come along? Ask them if they'll sit down with you and your fiance and talk about it. Ask them if they're willing to see a therapist...with you and your boyfriend. Tell them you want to maintain a relationship with them but if you and fiance get married it's going to be difficult. Tell them you're the one whose getting married, not them. If they don't like him at all, then its simply a matter of not seeing them. Period. You have my sympathies.
2006-12-24 13:33:42 · answer #4 · answered by judgebill 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One great way to change your parents' perception of things is finding a source of great authority to educate them on racism and discrimination. There are some great movies that your parents can watch that would make them think about things.
One such powerful movie that is relatively new is "The Believer."
Thanks,
Arkady Itkin
www.practicalhappiness.com
2006-12-24 13:31:33 · answer #5 · answered by PracticalHappiness.com 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They probably will not but if they don't then who cares live your life. If he makes you happy then be with him life is too important not to be with the person you love. Good Luck
2006-12-24 13:30:57 · answer #6 · answered by naya w 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he's your lover so why listen to your family everybody posses the ability to change their fate so make him your own business. personaaly speaking i wouldn't give **** of what my family thinks if i loved a girl
2006-12-24 13:30:07 · answer #7 · answered by net lover 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should talk to thembeforeyou go tell themwhat you noticed maybe its all a misunderstanding!
2006-12-24 13:33:05 · answer #8 · answered by read_laugh-love 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
alop with him and never see your family agian they dont sound like good a good influence for your children
2006-12-24 13:29:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
GO SCREW URSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEN U MIGHT FEEL BETTER!!!!!!!!!!
2006-12-24 13:31:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋