we have her full time and her mother has her every other weekend.. her mom tells her to be mean to me because the child has told me this..wat can I do too help this situation? she does things to be mean somtimes and when I tell her to not do that she jus ignores me or says well ur not my mother,, my boyfriend is on my side as far as the disapline part but hes not home full time with her I am hes at work..we have grounded her took things away from her hoping this will help and it hasnt..shes a very stubborn kid..omg I need some help..shes 11 and I was jus wondering if its maybe puberty or somthing and not ME...making her so mean.. she acts like she loves me to death until she does wrong and then olord she hates me...when I try and show her manners or morals..her parents where in a bad relationship and she has has no guideance until now.. I was rasied with good morals and and values in my life so I want her too have respect..is she too far gone for me to help?
2006-12-24 13:24:58 · 5 answers · asked by ♥Constance♥ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No, don't give up on her, you seem like the only good thing in her life right now. Just keep on doing what you doing and I think she will come around. I know it's terriblely hard but I think it will be worth it.
good luck and god bless
2006-12-24 13:29:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If she starts misbehaving, take away *EVERYTHING*. Give her a mattress and a pillow & blanket and tell her she gets to earn everything else back. No TV, no phone, no computer, no toys, no games, no books, no NOTHING. Homework gets done with supervision, otherwise she gets nothing. When she starts being good, then she starts getting things back.
There's no such thing as a child too far gone, only a parent who just stopped trying. If your boyfriend can't, or won't, step up, it falls to you to show a good example. And if her mother is actively being a bad influence (i.e. telling the girl to be mean to you), then maybe CPS will have something to say about her custodial rights. If you can prove she's an unfit mother, you can get her visitation rights revoked. I know, you say "But every child needs its mother", but think about it - is it really in the kid's best interests to be around a person like that?
2006-12-24 21:46:47 · answer #2 · answered by supensa 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Listen... this is not easy... Remember you are not her parent in this case... Yes it is puberty but it will never get better... There are books on "blended" families... read a few. Wish I could tell you it will get better - it will not... it will only get worse without you getting professional help. I lived it for 16 years...
Your moral and values have nothing to do with it... She will always hate you - the reasons are hers and hers alone.
As hard as this might seem - I would break off the relationship with the b/f, in the long run your relationship is doomed anyways.
Good luck....
2006-12-24 21:56:21 · answer #3 · answered by stanmanin92 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you are a girlfriend (you called him your boyfriend) then you really shouldn't be disciplining her....or teaching her to spell for that matter. Sounds like she needs some stability. You aren't her mom and if you were raised with such a high level of morality then why are you living with him and his daughter and not married?? What kind of example are the two of you setting for her?? No wonder she doesn't respect you enough to mind you.
2006-12-24 21:31:39 · answer #4 · answered by diamondhawk1 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Agree with her that your not her mom, but tell her you are the head of the house and there are rules to live by while she's here.
2006-12-24 22:29:31 · answer #5 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋