My Mom has been raising my little sisters daughter for the past 3 years. My sister is 21 and takes no initiative to raise her own child... so my Mom has taken over and my sister can do whatever she wants. She still lives at home with my parents, goes to college (when she feels like it) and doesn't have a job. I am 28 and I have a son. I work only 1 day a week and my Mom watches my son (and my niece) just that one day. But I'm getting upset because she just doesn't seem interested in my son. She dotes on and is obsessed with my niece who she says is "more my (her) daughter than her (my sister) mothers!" I come back from work and she is ignoring my son who she leaves to roll around on the floor and is catering to my niece. It seems like she isn't into him and it breaks my heart. I'm starting to not even want a relationship with her anymore. I've tried to talk to her about this and she just says "I love them the same" but it's obvious that she doesn't. What should I do?
2006-12-24 12:51:17 · 13 answers · asked by Debbie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Just so that you're aware. I live with my hubby. My Mom watches my son the one day a week I work (sometimes 1 day every 2 weeks) when my hubby and I both happen to be working.
2006-12-24 13:07:42 · update #1
i can see where this would bother you. she may feel sorry for your neice and may be trying to give her the attention that her own mother is not giving her. i see that you tried talking and got the classic response. dont break off the relationship completely but maybe if you found a different sitter for a little while she'll realize that she misses your son and her actions could change. in the meantime relax! and live life - life is too short to nitpick over little things.
2006-12-24 13:03:15 · answer #1 · answered by kd baby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should let your mom know that you want to sit down and have a "heart to heart". Be honest, but hold your temper. In a loving, kind way explain to her how you feel and what you see when she is around your child. If this doesn't work perhaps on your work day you could leave your son with a friend who has a child his age. Then maybe your mom will wake up. Good luck and God bless you
2006-12-24 13:01:14 · answer #2 · answered by sweetie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its just that your mother is around your sisters kid more she is raising her so your son is being raised by you so actually your mother is not the grandmother to your sisters kid but the mother ya see her own mind is playing tricks on her just let it go and your mother will be back as grandmom to both dont worry it will sink in to your mother one day and then she will have a talk with your sister and then everything will be normal
2006-12-24 12:58:33 · answer #3 · answered by slp9209 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to move out of your mother's house, and get childcare from someone other than your mother. At 28, you're old enough to live your own life without your mother being involved in it....which includes your own child care. It's a small price to pay for independence....and proper care for your son. Good Luck!
2006-12-24 13:02:28 · answer #4 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother spends more time with and has invested more of herself in your sister's daughter, so it's natural that your mother feels a stronger connection with her.
I notice that you don't mention the ages of the children. If your son is older than the daughter, then your mother might think he requires less attention or that she requires more.
Tell your mother your observations concerning her interaction with each of the children and your concerns about how it might affect your son. You should also speak to your son about how he fells about this. If she fails to see what's going on or change the way she gives attention to your son, then you might want to get someone else to watch him.
2006-12-24 13:01:46 · answer #5 · answered by marklemoore 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter how hard a parent or grandparent tries, they are always going to have a favorite. I know this firsthand. I've always felt like I'm on the outside looking in. I don't think there is much you can do about it. You can't conrol the way other people think. Just don't show any resentment around the kids.
2006-12-24 13:00:48 · answer #6 · answered by BigJake418 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her actions speak louder than words and then leave with your son and don't go back till she calls and begs to see him again. Note: this may be a few years.
2006-12-24 12:56:18 · answer #7 · answered by delux_version 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should tell ur momhow you feel about her ignoring your child and maybe you should let them spend some time with eachother and that you should take ur daughter to work with you.
2006-12-24 13:14:12 · answer #8 · answered by kool kitty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see dysfunction. Seek professional counseling. Seek the Lord. Break the cycle.
2006-12-24 12:57:42 · answer #9 · answered by AnswerGuy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
nope, sorry, it aint gonna change. the longer she raises the child, the closer she will become. your child will never be number one, trust me.learn to live with it or move. nothings gonna change or get better, only worse, mark my words. I'm right on this one.
2006-12-24 13:04:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋