Even if I'm not all dressed up, guys still look at me, and always want one thing because of the way I look. It actually gives me low self-esteem, and it actually takes me awhile to get to know the guy is not all about that, because I have a hard time trusting guys. This happens alot, and you would think that I like the compliments and the stares, but it gets uncomfortable. I do I get past this? How can I ever meet a decent guy, if I can't help outward appearances? Why do guys act like this?
2006-12-24 12:09:56 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You know, I had a brilliantly witty answer all set for this but I can't do it.
I haven't been there, and it must suck. I'm sorry. I guess you'll have to go slowly in relationships and see who thinks you're worth the wait.
I suspect your "radar" will become more finely tuned with experience, and you'll be better able to see who's a player and who's a keeper.
How can you ever meet a decent guy? The good thing about your present position is that they'll hit on you too, just like the indecent guys. Imagine what it's like for folks who don't have your advantages, appearancewise.
All you have to do is learn the art of the Polite No Thank You and work on developing that player-or-keeper instinct.
Oh, and you also have to learn that most statements with "all guys" or "all women" are exaggerated. Don't paint us with a broad brush, and the decent members of my sex won't jump to conclusions about you. Deal? :)
Merry Christmas. You'll do fine in time, methinks.
Bill
P.S. Not auditioning for the role, either :)
2006-12-24 12:17:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
For one thing, if you're young, you're attracting a lot of immature guys. This is just the way it is, and totally not your fault. Don't try to change yourself, don't dress like a skanky hoe to encourage them, but otherwise be yourself and try not to let them get you down. Sometimes a well placed "F--- Off!! or "Get lost, you JERK!!!" will discourage the worst of them. Here's a trick that works very well when a guy is staring at you in a way that makes you uncomfortable: look away and pretend you're completely ignoring him, then without turning your head, stick up your middle finger. This may not seem very high class, but you have to do what you have to do to stop creeps from bothering you, because you have the right!! I think you will find as you mature that you attract more mature guys who actually have something worth talking about, but you might still have trouble occasionally.
By the way, I didn't mean all guys who stare are dogs, I'm just telling you how to handle the most annoying ones. Even nice guys will be attracted to superficial appearances at first- they're just wired that way. If he doesn't come across as obnoxious, give him a chance.
2006-12-25 04:04:43 · answer #2 · answered by mj_indigo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ideas:
- dress "down". Todays "hot fashion" is worst than the professional whores of a decade ago typical outfits. Cover at least 90% of your surface area, and dont wear tight (as in form fitting) outfits.
- learn to talk. The last thing guys want to talk about is "boys, makeup, shoes, clothes, shopping". Pick a sport, learn its jargon and language. Spend an hour per week staying current with it. Every guy on the planet can talk about at least one of soccer, football, basketball, baseball, and hockey. Its a secret universal language among guys.
- go where the dogs arent. If you go to a club or a mall its no surprise that boys are sniffing your nether regions. Those are the kinds of boys that go to those places. If you want boys of depth and character find out what they do, and go, and make that where you hang out.
Read a few Functional books (not cosmo):
- the complete idiots guide to understanding men and women.
- "wild at heart" by John Eldridge
Go to an expert. Find a great guy, preferably old, with kids, and married. Ask him about guys, not about anything you wouldnt want your mom there when talking with him, but just .. where to go to find the right one, and how to truly know you have a good one, and what makes an excellent and admirable man. Ask some of the "grandma battleaxe" types you know too, they know a few things, though they are sometimes bitter about it. They can have great insight and suggestions.
2006-12-24 12:27:39 · answer #3 · answered by Curly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You alone can control how you react. Trust is earned over time. The sexes are different in every way. Read John Grey's- Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. Also, watch Bill Engvall's comedy routine-Here's Your sign. He has funny anecdotes about how Women & Men interact. You will be happy to know females are always in control, because you can go longer without sex. You hold all the cards even if you don't realize it?
2006-12-24 12:24:26 · answer #4 · answered by Epinions Reviewer. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See her is the problem if we don't pay attention then we are accused of not being interested. Then if do we become horn dogs......I believe that a girl can be gorgeous as hell but have a ugly attitude and make her the most unattractive person in the world....Then there are girls who are cute and have the best personality and just make her the most Perfect girl in the world i prefer a girl who is down to earth . Usually the good looking ones think there sh*t don't stink.....Sorry
2006-12-24 12:19:08 · answer #5 · answered by bob 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well alot of guys try to get one thing from a girl but alot of times if she puts them in there place and tell them she wants to get to know them before there would be anything else happening.Most guys respect that in a woman and mabye they are trying to see how easy you are because most guys are not looking for easy women for a long term relationship.
Good Luck
2006-12-24 12:17:37 · answer #6 · answered by sparky75us 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because they are dog.....
Never get your self down. Men always are going to be looking, and want you like dog. You must educate you head. Woman that are good looking and have a good education men will think two time before they say some thin to you.
Take care of your self.
2006-12-24 12:24:13 · answer #7 · answered by boricua1970maileen 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Speaking as a guy, I mean what can I tell you that you haven't already heard. Because in a way it's not explanatory, it's just "human nature". In fact, the guy of your dreams might think your beautiful, stare at you, and you might think he is just like the rest of them when in reality, he is not. Trust your instincts, and take your time. Finding the right person is not easy, but he will come to you when you least expect it. Take care of yourself and god bless.
2006-12-24 12:25:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get to know me and you'll find out that's not all I want. I like a woman for who she is, not what she looks like. If she happens to be very attractive, then that's icing on the cake. Don't get so down on yourself. It's good that you take things slow. Put yourself in a better spot to meet better quality people.
2006-12-24 12:25:23 · answer #9 · answered by BigJake418 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Self esteem is a funny thing but the key word should be self. Do things that impress yourself and you will find what they think doesn't matter. One thing about meeting people online is 1st impressions are not based on looks
2006-12-24 12:20:14 · answer #10 · answered by Sid B 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋