I've been divorced for almost 3 yrs. We have 2 children and share joint custody. I have a new respect for him because he has done his part and more for the kids. We have somehow managed this with practically no communication. We would get nervous around each other. Since the divorce I have became involved with someone I know I mean the world to. He has always been there for me. I have no doubt that he loves me and would be devastated if we didn't go ahead with plans to be together forever.He's my best friend and he knows about the other. He wanted me to get my head straight and I did too so I talked to my ex. Finally we talked and it was wonderful to not act like strangers anymore. He said he didn't want to say anything that might hold me back in case I wanted to move on. In other words I could tell that he would probably like to have me back and he did still have feelings for me. Now I'm really confused and don't know what to do.
2006-12-24 11:24:47 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Do your ex a favor and move in with the sweet boyfriend
2006-12-24 11:31:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Which one do you truly love? Which one are you in love with and would like to have a future with?
Keep in mind, the reason for divorce. If it was a real good reason, then it's probably a good thing that the relationship ended.
It's really up to you. Do not let a bunch of strangers on Yahoo! tell you who to choose, as only you know the level of intimacy and love you share with both of these guys.
2006-12-24 19:27:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"we have somehow managed this with practically no communication"
You have 2 kids and he's done the right thing. You didn't communicate before? Were you young when you got married. What led to the divorce? yeah it's true people can change, but not most people. Move on.
2006-12-24 19:35:58 · answer #3 · answered by Tellin' U Da Truth! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am just about in the same situation: My ex broke up with me and is about to marry someone else. He says this woman really loves him, and that he would never cheat. However, He wants to sleep with me for "closure." I think that he's crazy for asking that, but I know that since he did, he still hasn't gotten over me. I've notices that he still calls me and try to make it seem like I lost a good thing. I know i'm not over him, but I know that we broke up for a reason- we wanted different things, and I was already frustrated with the relationship before we even got married. I think the truth is, I might be missing the potential of the relationship and not the actual relationship. You might be too.
Think about whether or not you could really live with this person's shortcomings. Think of the absolute worst character trait he has and ask yourself that question. answer HONESTLY. Trust your initial gut feeling about what you felt about your ex. Base your decision on what he does/did, not say.
And think about you current boyfriend- whether or not you really love him, because if you don't, It won't help if you marry him and complicate things. Think about what he does. Can you see yourself growing spiritually, mentally... Are your life goals the same? It seems to me that he's really secure in the relationship and he really wants it to work. And he's wise in knowing that the best way to move on is to have closure from the past. He's willing to risk having you talk to your ex. But if it's not working, I suppose he has a right to know why.
Sometimes emotions will get in the way. They get in mine. I feel sad sometimes, lonely. Unsure. Your ex might be feeling that way, being we are in the same position. He even might be in love with the "idea." I'm praying, and I already recieved the answer for my dilemma deep down. If you don't already, you will know. Just trust your instinct.
2006-12-24 20:00:17 · answer #4 · answered by S D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go on with your life if it's simple enough. Be an encouraging figure for your ex to continue his life and accomplish goals. Make him a comfortable figure in your life, and keep it that way. Don't go fooling around on your man now and keep talking to him about your emotional status. Keep a good grasp on the reality of it all and the path will be lit. Have a Merry Christmas.
2006-12-24 19:35:04 · answer #5 · answered by J Brewhah 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear confused....
Number 1 question, why did you divorce to start? I too have been divorced going on 3 years, after a 20 year marriage... At times I would like to be back with him for my little girls sake, but when I get those feelings I remember why we're not together... I moved on with a new friend myself, & it has been great...
First & foremost, do whatever makes YOU happy....
Cause if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!!!
Happiest Holidays to you & yours....
<;>
2006-12-24 19:32:04 · answer #6 · answered by Linda Jo V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would stay with the new guy. Repay people what they deserve. Your ex had his chance and blew it. This new guy knows what he has and wants to show you he can make you happy. Follow your heart but use your head. We always remember the good things about our past relationships, which is nice, but we need to remember why they did not work out in the first place. People don't change that easy.
2006-12-24 19:30:40 · answer #7 · answered by JV 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you should just tell both the gents that you need some space. I just wouldn't rush into any thing yet. You should focus more on to your two children instead of which man you should choose, your children don't need any more stress that has already been put upon themselves.
2006-12-24 19:37:55 · answer #8 · answered by HAGAR!!! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is simple. You are looking back at what is familiar instead of looking forward to a new life. Stop looking back. He is a x for a reason. Move forward and start a new life.
2006-12-24 19:32:43 · answer #9 · answered by Sarcastic Sid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all I can say is there must be some reason that you were divorced in the first place it is probably better to move on
2006-12-24 19:28:01 · answer #10 · answered by quitoslady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋