Is it ok to be single?

Question

Even when it sucks? I hate being alone and seeing all those happy couples makes me feel worse. It all most feels that I will always be single due to having high expectations in what I look for in a mate. Sometimes I wish I could lower my high expectations and just settle with just anyone, like most people do.

Answer 1

Let me tell you a story, I once thought I was in love. I had just lost 17 people in my family through death, lost 3 friends through death, became homeless twice after the company I worked for closed down. Abandoned by my family, forced to raise 3 children because a suicidal brother was going through a divorce and couldn't provide for them.

I THOUGHT MY LIFE WAS DONE! I was never so depressed, so lonely, couldn't understand why God would rip people out of my life and not at least give me someone who would love me as much as I loved them. I thought I'd never find love.

Then, one day, I was sick of it, took off to another state, got a job and started living my life alone. Concentrated on myself and learning to live with myself and love myself. Started making friends, went out and enjoyed my new found freedom, my new single life. And then, God answered my prayers, he gave me someone so wonderful and so suited for me I thought it was too good to be true. But deep inside I knew I deserved someone wonderful, and now this beautiful soul and wonderful human being is going to be my husband in about a month.

Moral of the story, appreciate those around you, be happy for those in love, listen to the wonderful stories people have to tell, go out with friends, work on yourself as a person and becoming who you want to be, and someday, when you're busy making plans, life will happen and you'll meet the one meant for you and you'll be that happy couple others will envy.

Answer 2

Your expectations must really be high to look around at couples and think they have just 'settled' for just anyone.

Relationships and people aren't perfect. The people who you see 'happy' probably aren't most of the time. The people who look 'beautiful' are probably ugly people inside.

Don't lower your expectations but understand that what you see is not always the true or complete picture of someone or some thing. You soon find that special someone even if she doesn't have supermodel looks and a well paid job.

Answer 3

It's okay to be single. I know it can leave you very lonely. I'm single and at times I feel like this also. I always get the "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with." Sometimes it just isn't that easy. Don't settle for someone you don't want to be with because in the end you are just as unhappy as you were when you started, maybe even worse. Just realize, you are not perfect, neither is anybody else. Accept the flaws of others but don't let someone with a lot of troubles get into your life because you are lonely. That was a problem I faced. It left me feeling as if I had been ripped into pieces. Hobbies can really ease you when you feel lonely. I know they have helped me in the past. You aren't alone. I'm in the same boat. Someday, things will work for you. Think of it that way.

I wish you the best of luck in it all. I'm with ya.

Answer 4

It's important to remember that being in a relationship isn't the be all and end all in life.

Not everybody that's in a relationship is happy and maybe a lot of the loved up couples that you see are still in the early stages when it's all new and exciting.

Sometimes people fall in love with the idea of being in love. They watch the Hollywood romantic comedies and the television programs and they think that that's how it really should be for everyone.

You don't have to settle, I agree there's probably a lot of people who are only coupled up because they're scared of being alone, but settling for just anyone will only make a person unhappy in the long term in my opinion.

Answer 5

If you have high expectations, then you are choosing to be single. Sometimes we have to ask ourselves what we can and cannot accept in a person. Sometimes we have to take a little of the bad with the good. Surely you are not a perfect person, so why are you looking for one?

Answer 6

It's perfectly OK, but if you genuinely want a meaningful relationship (as you do and I don't), it probably isn't a very good idea. There's no sense in settling for the sake of settling, though. That's a sign of desperation. In this case, it's better to stay single and fulfill your own needs.

Answer 7

it's ok but is it you who has high expectation or maybe the girls you are after have higher expectation. I sure you would have a girl by now but you are probably chasing girls that are in a much higher class then you and you are thinking it's you with the high expectation. You do not need to lower your expectation. What you need is to come down to earth and take your place in society and you will soon have some one. sorry MERRY CHRISTMAS.

Answer 8

Ive been totally single for almost 2 years,yeah there is times when it sucks but I wont settle for anyone and good on you for not doing so either,Ive scarped the bottom of the barrel in the past but the future is what i want.

Answer 9

I think that every-ones expectations reflect how they see themselves in relation to others, so I don't think you should lower yours unless they are really unrealistic. This is the way I live, and is the reason I have enormously long periods between relationships, but that means that when I find a partner, I don't keep trying to change them.
But good luck to you

Answer 10

Don't settle for just anyone. There's the perfect person out there just wait! Have fun being single for now and that person will find you when the time is right.