Depressed and trapped?

Question

This holiday is terrible for me - my boyfriend whom I love dearly is spending Christmas away from me again to be with his ex-family. We have yet to spend our first Christmas together. I am thirty years old and have never been married... probably never will. I'm pretty and intelligent - I dont' know why nobody will marry me. But that's another topic. ANYWAY...

All my life I have struggled with depression, but never gone to a doctor. I went to a doctor about a week ago and he wouldn't help me - he told me I needed to seek counseling and that nobody would see me becasue it was Christmas. But,.... I REALLY NEEDED HIS HELP.

Now I am alone and so depressed. I stare at things, I sleep a lot... it was a struggle to do something about holiday cooking, as my mother is a cancer survivor and hastn' her strenght back. How can I make it just a few more days before seeing a profesional? I hate to become an alcoholic but this does numb the pain for me.

Answer 1

Well you can look at it this way, spend the holiday with the family you do have. I'm sure your mom would like company for the holiday and then you can see your boyfriend when he comes back, and hopefully he can go to the doctor with you. Merry Christmas!

Answer 2

Your hesitancy to use alcohol as an escape is a good instinct. Adding alcoholism to your depression will only worsen things, especially in the long run.

I am glad to see you have attempted to seek counselling and help, but sorry to hear you refused. Keep your intent to continue seeking this help after the holidays. In the meantime--think of your mother. She needs you. Be there and help her. Having a clear purpose can sometimes help with depression. Also--talk with your boyfriend. Tell him how upset you are and that your depression is worsening. If you make it clearer to him, he may very well take a deeper concern in the issue--it may be that he just doesn't realize how much distress you are experiencing.

Also, talk to friends or any other trusted individuals while you wait for professionally counselling---friendships often yeild great support and can help to treat your depression. Once your counselling gets started, continue to talk with your friends and boyfriend about how your depression is coming along--having a strong support base can mean the world when you are struggling to recover.

Don't be ashamed of your emotions and try to hide them from those close to you. This will only hurt you, and, in a different way, them.

Answer 3

Look in the mirror and say to yourself " I am going to be happy for the next couple hours and do something to make others happy ' !!
Than take baby steps through the next few days and trying to make others happy. It does not always have to be about you, think about others and put your feelings aside. Why , because the joy and self satisfaction of seeing how you can affect others will put you in better spirits. We only have one chance to try and make it through life , there is no better world on the other side. You are a very special person to someone and I wish you the very best , don't let something like a holiday make you so sad. Xmas makes more people depressed than it does happy. Some holiday huh !!!!! Take care and good luck !!!!

Answer 4

if you really feel desperate there is a crisis hotline in almost all cities i know of. it might help to just talk to someone. this is a very difficult time of year for many people. try to enjoy time with your mother while you have the chance. try to stay away from the alcohol. it only hides some of the pain for a little while but it adds to the chemical imbalance that your body is experiencing. You definitely need to see a counselor after getting a complete physical exam with lab work. I have taken medication for depression most of my life. although i hate relying on drugs it does help me cope with the stress and depression and anxiety. you are not alone as there are many more of us out here with those feelings. hang in there and good luck.

Answer 5

Poor baby, put your head on my shoulder and let's cry together...That's all you need, is a friend in deed, a friend to confide in. When I get down like this, I always pray to the Lord to thank Him for what i HAVE,...not what I don't have. I didn't get married until I was 47, to a man twenty years younger...so you have a ways to go before you're an old maid....Don't give yourself worse problems,...the old, 'I drink to forget' addage, is an old excuse for alcholics for years....Get up and look around you. go to a homeless shelter, and see how bad things could be...be glad that you mom is a survivor, and still here. ...Thank the Lord, through Jesus, for what you have and the wisdom He has blessed you with...and then, think of me, and pretend I am there with you singing Christmas Carols, okay? Have a blessed holiday

Answer 6

Let me tell you a very short and true story. God so loved the world that He gave His only Son. And who so ever believes in Him shall not parish but have everlasting life. His son's name is Jesus and He came so that we may have life and have it more abundantly. And if you believe that than believe that He loves you and cares about what is going on in your life. And if you want to have life more abandon you must be saved. Repeat this and believe by faith: Father I'm a sinner in need of a savior. I confuse my sins to you today and believe in my heart that Jesus was born so that I might live. He died on the cross, was buried and rose on the third day and now is seated in heaven with You. And today I make Him Savior and Lord of my life, Amen. Now believe that you have received salvation and go to a church that is preaching and teaching that Jesus Christ is Lord. Because honey you do not have to walk around feeling depress. This is called bondage, and its a spirit that is not of God. Please get the professional help you need and stop calling yourself the "Fallenangel". Can't you see that name is from the same spirit that is keeping you in bondage. I will be praying for you.
Here are some scriptures, I hope you have a bible if not please go to a Christian Bookstore and purchase one. A good one to use is the NIV Bible(New International Version) or the NKJ(New King James):
For Depression Read:
1) Psalm 16:43 (4) John 3:14-17
2)Psalm 130 (5) Isaiah 61:1-4
3)Ephesians 3:14-21 (6) Jeremiah 15:10-21
I'm praying for you,

Answer 7

My husband is also away for the holidays.

Try to keep your mind on the positive things. You have someone who you love dearly, and although you are not married, that's still more than many people have accomplished finding.

Your mother is a cancer SURVIVOR. That in itself, is something to be proud and happy about. I recently lost an ''aunt'' (mom's best friend) to cancer, so I know how tough it could be.

Answer 8

Listen to yourself, I am pretty and intelligent, that is who you truly are and more. Girl get rid of him. Many men would love to be with you, he is in the way. Make yourself available for the many men out there that woulld love to spend time with someone just like you. I am a Christian. I will pray for you. You deserve the best that life has to offer girl and it isn't him. Kick him to the curb and get a real man. Before you know it, you will have a rock on your finger and living the good life. You are so very worth it girl and let no one tell you anything other than that. You go girl and get that man that you so deserve, a good one.

Answer 9

how long have you beenwith this guy? you are doing the right thing by trying to get some help i think that is the hardest thing to do is know that u have this prob and want to get help well i think that all that u can do is tell him that it hurts u to know that he would like to spend the hoildays away from u and see if sometime u could go with him have u ever meet his family? and about getting marred i think that it will happen sooner then u think and that i dont know that i would want to marry him considering he wont take u with him what is up with that well my name is megan and u can email me and ill talk to u i am a good persom that would lestion to what u have to say well here is the addy [e-mail]

Answer 10

Seek a crisis center in your area - they are very helpful, especially around this season.

I've noticed that I'm less depressed when I do something for others.

You can try volunteering at your local Red Cross or Salvation army. You do not need qualifications, just a willingness to help.

You will be surprised at how good it makes you feel inside.

Good luck.