if sex is not pleasurable the first and second time will it always be like that.?

Question

i decided to have sex for the first time last week and for the secon yesterday ive never even let a guy touch me in those places befor out of shyness but me and my boyfriend have been together for 18months and he has respected that about me. i expected it to be passionate and soooo pleasurable why was it not like that for me but for him he was enjoying it so much will it always feel that way. please help with advice

Answer 1

Your experience is sadly pretty normal. The first few times will be painful and awkward for women. Remember that only about 50% of women experience an orgasm with regular sex - even experienced women with good partners! Men, on the other hand, enjoy it every single time. Life ain't fair. This is especially true for shy women, who often experience anxiety or nervousness when it comes to sex. Am I doing it right? What do I do with my hands? Will he laugh if I moan? Relax - your partner probably doesn't notice, or if he does, he'd be excited to give you some instructions!

Some of it will come with experience - you may need to move in rythym, for example, or use a lubricant such as KY to help it feel good - and some may take more patience on the part of your boyfriend. Sex SHOULD be pleasureable for both of you, and that means he needs to wait until you're ready. Try to get him to spend more time on foreplay, or ask him to go 'down there' before sex. He'll probably want to dive straight in, but don't let him - it will be better for both of you if you build up to it.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Hi - since you've never even been touched in the nether regions by a guy, you probably have a great deal more stress than someone who's gradually worked up to having intercourse.

For men its a lot different, for us its pretty much achieving our life goal every time...

From all the women I've known over the years, having sex for the first time was often painful (and my ex sometimes had pain even years later - but that was a medical issue that she refused to address) and almost invariably stressful.

As you learn more about what feels good, and what doesn't, and learn more about yourself sexually - sex invariably gets better.

And the more you practice with a steady partner, the better the two of you get with each other.

Since you went straight from no lower body contact straight into intercourse, it may take you longer to overcome stressfull feelings that detract from the enjoyment.

You might consider regressing a tad - to the fingering and maybe oral elements, then progress again into intercourse, just to feel more relaxed and confident.

One way or another, every woman I've ever known has found a happy and contented level of satisfaction and pleasure from sex.

And pretty much all of them had an uncomfortable time early on (except one... but she's another story...)

Peace and joy,

-dh

Answer 3

The pleasure you have is influenced by a lot of things. These are just a few.

Your first time. Very nervous I am sure and so you could not relax.
Your boyfriend does not know what he should about foreplay.
Women need lots of foreplay.....men do not.
If all you had was intercourse there is no way you could have had an orgasm. You are not made that way.

You must know that the one area of a female that needs to be stimulated in order for her to reach orgasm is her clitoris. That is impossible with intercourse alone.

If he were do do that for you before intercourse you would enjoy it so much more.

Basically the inexperience you both have had contributed to this.
A man can always enjoy sex it is just a given. But for women it takes time and patience.

Work together. Both of you will love it so much more.

Answer 4

It's possible that it wasn't pleasureable for you because you've never done anything else sexual. A sexual response is not always immediate. It can be something that has to be learned. It depends on the person. And sometimes it can depend on the person you're with. I wouldn't give up hope if I were you. Just talk to your boyfriend about it. If he loves you he will be more than happy to help you discover your pleasure. And always remember that there's nothing wrong with you.

Answer 5

pay interest female... there is many causes as to why it isn't satisfying... cos in accordance to medical doctors, sex is a pressure buster.... so that's going to continually be satisfying.... now the question comes, that y that's to not you... listed decrease than are the numerous opportunities.... a million. you at the on the spot are not doing it with your entire heart... you're doing it because your guy needs it... or basically to delight your guy.... 2. it may be that your guy would not understand a thanks to satisfy you... would nicely be his device is too small or he has erection disease... or he's not waiting to keep up it longer... or he's an newbie and knows not some thing as to a thanks to delight a lady. 3. you've a mentality that sex is disgusting.... once you've this mentality, no you may help you out, except your guy or the psychiatrist..... 4. you had a lot of expectation on it with the help of seeing it on television or some thing... yet you didnt settle for sex with open and loose options.... like those there is many stuff ... you basically favor to parent out what's erroneous.... after that correcting it turns into less difficult... in case you superb perfect it out, it wont be like the feeling you've at present....

Answer 6

You are shy and will remain shy. You are not the type to open up to a man for sex pleasure. You took the time spent together in consideration and then you gratify him. I suggest that you remain who you really are, the prude girl. One big lie says: everybody is doing it! But you are unique and you should go according to your inner feeling. Talk to him over the fact that your respected individual is more important to you than sex. Your b/f will understand and respect your wish. If you become husband/wife, he will hold you in greater respect knowing who you are. Being married, then you will find that his sexual encounters are exciting, passionate, pleasurable, enjoyable.

Answer 7

Our culture puts false hopes and ideas in sex, for men it most always physical but for women it is most always emotional. Sex is designed by God for purposes other than our culture has decided. I think when you get married and find the right man, you will learn together what satifies you and makes you happy. There are some really good books out there to help you determien what real intimacy is and how to appreciate it.

Answer 8

First of all, sex in real life is nothing like the movies or TV. There may be two reasons why you didn't enjoy it:
1) You may not know what you're doing. That take practice.
2) You two may not be compatable, sexually. If you were, it would be awesome from the start, no trying, practicing at all.
Hope this helps.

Answer 9

No sex will improve. You will come to love sex as much as life. For most of us life wiothout sex wioth the opposite sex is not life at all, but slow death.
This is your first time and you were freightened to death and expected more the first time than he could deliver. He evidently sh9owed interest in only his emotional moods the foirst tiem.

It's likely he is not for you at all. Experiment with someone else.
Take it slow and easy and make a night of it.
Learn to relax and enjoy sex.

Answer 10

okay. first of all where you actually into it or where you just doing it to try it. in order for you to get any pleasure you have to putin some work. dont let him do all the work and then say that it wasnt pleasurable. sex goes both ways depending onthe situation. so maybe he was going a litle to fast for you. tell him to slow down or tell himm how you wnat it done.