Does anyone have suggestions on hiring a nanny or au paire?
2006-12-24 09:17:13 · 6 answers · asked by J D Jr. 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
More than ten hours of separation a week from mommy is devastating to a child under 3 years old. Children who enter care in the first year of life detach from mom, she from the child, and the dad is less approving of the child. The child is at severe risk for depression, anxiety, and attachment disorder. Kids who enter care before three have most of these problems. NICHD has been studying this for decades, and Ainsworth studied it 50 years ago. The results are unchanging. Human infants are primates and we are harmed by separation from our mothers. Humans are still 'fetal' until 8 months old - they only come out earlier so their big heads will fit out.
When a child is with a nanny or au paire, they still long for mommy. Every time they want her and she doesn't come, they learn that mommy wants them to be sad, that mommy doesn't care, that the world is an unreliable and bad place. Again, decades of research on this. Au Paires are the worst, because they are, by design, going to leave after only a year.
The research shows that even with a nanny, grandma, or daddy as the subsittute care giver, the infant is still harmed. We need our mommies!
Winston Churchill was a great leader and had many successes. To the end of his life, he carried a photo of his nanny, not his mother. And, to the end of his life, he said he was haunted by a 'black dog of sadness' that his mom didn't care enough about him to actually raise him.
So, suggestions? Yes, don't do it to any child you love, because you will be greatly harming the child - intellectually, physically, socially, and emotionally.
2006-12-25 07:46:36 · answer #1 · answered by cassandra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are employment services that do all of the investigation work for you and help you to find the right nanny or au pair. They stand behind who you choose, and generally speaking the fees are nominal. Good luck.
2006-12-24 23:53:00 · answer #2 · answered by whatrukidding 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best way to hire a nanny is from relatives' and friends' recommendations so you can have a reliable reference on who you are hiring. Of course,you wouldn't want to entrust the most precious angel of your life to someone whom you don't know.
2006-12-24 18:19:59 · answer #3 · answered by zam2luv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I highly recommend South Americans. They are loving to the children and hard-working. And get references.
2006-12-24 17:25:50 · answer #4 · answered by Stimpy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Recommendations from family and friends is a good start -
also make sure you get references, make sure they are
First Aid and CPR trained and definitely get a background check!
2006-12-24 23:13:57 · answer #5 · answered by georgia_peach 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nope
2006-12-24 17:22:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋