My ex bf was the one who dumped me, so I was really shocked when he told me that he wants to see me and "meet up". He called me, and planned the whole thing (a movie). I assumed there would be coffee afterwards since after one year I thought he wanted to really talk & catch up. He picked up, but he never opened any doors for me, he walked ahead of me, & after the movie he just drove me home. He never walked me to my door & just said "merry Christmas". He never tried to even hug me so I just shook his hand & said bye. I felt like trash after the date, he treated me bad, like s**t. He would open doors & walk me to my door when we were going out, but I thought he would be a gentlemen again cuz of all the effort he put in to set up this date, by calling & picking me up. I thought after the movie, we would have coffee and that he would say either 1) I want u back, or 2) I wanna be friends. I thought #2 is what he would say. Neither of this happened. WHY did he do that & treat me like that?
2006-12-24 08:40:59 · 23 answers · asked by Hottie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
On the way home, I finally asked him why did he wanna meet up w/ me after all this time & he said 'u know just to hang out, I wanna see u every once in awhile'. He really meant, I wanna see u every year, on my terms & I'll treat u like this. I went home & decided that I don't even wanna see him once a yr & that I had to tell him this & how he treated me bad. So I went on msn aftre the date and I told him exactly how he made me feel. I said "You know, I honestly did wanna see u, & I did kinda miss u, & even though u'r a nice guy, after the way u treated me today, the way u rushed it, & the way u said bye in the car, we don't even need to see each other once a year, we should pretend like today was our final goodbye." He was shocked & kept saying sorry. I finally just said bye & logged out. Am I right or did I overreact? and should I fix it? By the way, when we were dating it never went past kissing cuz he knew I wanna save sex for marriage.
2006-12-24 08:42:20 · update #1
You did the right thing, and i think any other girl who has enough respect for herself would have done the same thing. good for you, theres no reason for him to treat you that way, especially the fact that you thought he was just going to say lets be friends...i dont think even friends treat each other that way. so dont even second guess yourself, you did the right thing. merry christmas!
2006-12-24 08:46:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do you ever watch the TV Reality show "Beauty and the Geek"? Sounds like your ex needs help with his social skills. Possibly, though, he has a guilt conscience because he dumped you, and wanted to make things right by asking you out again (as friends). I would ask him what happened and why he treated you that way. I think if you still care about him (and he did say he was sorry), it is worth another try.
2006-12-24 09:01:16 · answer #2 · answered by Time4Tivo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He did make quite an effort.. What happened was he tried to relive and make the relationship like it was when you both went out together before you split up.. sadly to say he did not feel the same and he knew it would never work out.. His behavior is a way for putting a closure on the past with no room for a future together. It is time for you to move on. In time you will meet someone who really deserves you.
2006-12-24 08:55:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does sound odd--It seems like your ex was really ambivalent about meeting you--like he wanted to meet you and didn't--at the same time--
maybe he wanted to see if he was over you--you know?...as in--okay--can he be around you and se how he feels about it all--or maybe he wanted to see how you would act around him...either way--I don't think he treated you badly--he was just indifferent towards you--he acted like you were a regular person--not someone he had been dating--so I can see why you felt rejected and hurt--your expectations were crushed...
or maybe he is waiting to see how you react now--wait a while and see if anything comes of your date with him...maybe he is thinking it over--sorting out his feelings/reactions...Since he set this up and then acted neutral--I'd stay neutral too--if he calls again--you can talk with him--calmly--and then you can decide if you want to be friends or not--
i would just be careful and make sure you don't start wasting too much emotional energy on this guy--he must have hurt you when he broke up with you--and now--he may be trying to get attention from you--or feed his ego--by seeing if you still like him...if that's the case--just move on with your life...
2006-12-24 08:48:49 · answer #4 · answered by Shay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This man must have never been your best friend. With a best friend when things go wrong you can always pick up where you left off. If this guy was your friend he could have remained a friend but he wasn't so let him go. I have been married three times and my first husband, we had three kids together, are still friends. We are both remarried and much happier. We are still able to talk, go to dinner in groups but we were friends. Perhaps the next time around you should look for someone you can be friends with first and foremost.
2006-12-24 08:50:37 · answer #5 · answered by Yarborough51 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DAMN! He wasn't the guy who was acting like an ***. You were. You completely overreacted. Its people like you who overreact to ever little thing that makes the world so messed up. So what if he didn't open a door for you? That's not rude at all. You just think it is ruder because you are used to having everything done for you. He was nice enough to say merry Christmas and you think that is rude? He wanted to be friends again and you do this to him? You little witch! God I hate people like you. You completely broke his world when you said that you don't want to see him anymore. It didn't seem like he had bad intentions at all but you went and made it seem like it did. He isn't your boyfriend anymore. There will be changes. My god grow up. You should seriously apologize to him.
2006-12-24 09:00:32 · answer #6 · answered by Lying from you 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no of course you didnt over react. If he made you feel like a worthless peice of sh*t then good on you. You can do better, maybe he was a bit confused but wait for the right bloke to come along and you will see that he did you a favour, forget this bloke and dont accept any more date offers, even as a friend!! good luck, and i wish you all the best in the future, happy xmas!!!
2006-12-24 08:51:50 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you did over react
you sound just like my ex
it was closure
to decided to end it
a way to move on
he was just hanging out with you just one more time
for closure
he rushed it cause it was probably akward for him
like how my ex and i see each other in the halls of school
its akward
and so i would rush out of there
he is just probably trying to get over you
and well he probably didnt know what to say either
cause he probably cant believe it that you guys are apart
so just think about through his shoes as well
and now you just let on a guilt ride for him
wish you luck
2006-12-24 08:47:34 · answer #8 · answered by MightyHyphy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i dont think you over reacted at all. Even though yall are not going out any more he should always to the dimple things like open the door,pull out your seat for you at dinner, walk you to your door, give you a good night kiss. You know Im glad you told him off. Good job!
2006-12-24 08:45:10 · answer #9 · answered by Onetreehillloverrr 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
he was probably confused, he probably wanted company and knew you would be there for him...its really not alot of trouble to call someone and bring them to a movie. sounds really harsh and im sorry but its the most honest i can be. He doesnt want you back. I dont even think he wanted to sleep with you.
2006-12-24 08:44:19 · answer #10 · answered by Lek 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋